Meet My Folks June 30th Recap, The Dappers.
This is indeed lurkinggirls recap, but she has a life and needed me to post it for her. Carry on, and enjoy
This week we are treated with two new episodes of Meet My Folks, but apparently it’s only to compensate long-suffering MMF viewers for the fact that it won’t be on next week to accommodate the 2 hour For Love Or Money finale. Not that it is at all adequate compensation mind you… we are still waiting for the episode with Giancarlo… HELLO?? Oh well, we’ve got a handsome crew this week, so let’s meet the single ladies:
Chauntal – 18 years old, coaches a cheerleading squad. Hair has many colored highlights, like it is rather indecisive. Tells guys she’s dating that there is a death in the family to get out of double-booked dates. She really does not see anything wrong with this. Sometimes you just have to break a date. The parents give the obligatory eye roll.
Chelsea – 20 year old college student, brought all of her clothes with her. Yes, seriously, two suitcases and a carry on bag for a what? 2-3 night trip. She constantly sticks people with huge bills, up to $400 just on food and drinks for her and her friends that she insists on dragging along with her on dates with guys. Swears it is not true. Obviously not all the money went for food and drinks as she can’t cross the street without changing into a new outfit, so some of the dough went for accessories, silly.
Tarin – 21 auto company spokesperson, isn’t here to make friends, she’s here to win. That was what psycho Kirsten on Bachelor 3 said too. Her mom says Tarin blows all her money on expensive clothes, can’t afford to move out. Tarin tries to explain that she just figures she’ll live with mom as long as she can. She knows she’s digging herself a hole and tries to giggle her way out of it.
Maleiah – 22 year old hair designer from Dallas, swears that they can’t embarrass her. Her ex was 44, which is older than Dad / Michael. Maleiah says she doesn’t care if she goes to Greece with Dad instead of Marco. Yup, she seems easy going like that. I’m sure you can all imagine just how thrilled Mom is with Maleiah at this point.
Ana – 19 year old public relations major, the other girls will have to work hard to keep Marco away from her. Really visible tan lines from a swimsuit in her off the shoulder shirt. Took RA’s key to rummage through boyfriend’s dorm room. Dad doesn’t seem happy, but Ana explains that everyone really wants to look through other peoples belongings. Mom and Dad lock the bedroom door when they retire.
And the man of the hour, Marco Dapper, a very cute 19 year old college student. He likes girls who are hard to get. I can’t imagine any of them would be too hard for Marco to get, but that’s another issue.
Sing for your supper
The new twist this week is that the girls will all need to go on stage and sing with the band at the BB King blues club. The song is Stop in the Name of Love, but by God the band members were begging for them to stop long before most of them reached the well known chorus of the song. I horrified Maleiah had to go first. She proclaimed that she would have rather been naked on stage than to have to sing. Everyone else would have preferred that too. She’s terrible.
Most of the other young ladies were equally poor singers. Tarin at least approached it with a refreshing attitude, focusing on swinging around the microphone cord as she was better at that than singing.
Whooop, whoop, we have a pageant girl in the contest. We have a pageant girl whose talent must be singing, as Chelsea was actually quite good. She had a great stage presence, wasn’t at all nervous, and her voice was ok too. Cali thinks she only sounded good because of the prior drowning cats we had listened to. Mr. Cali was impressed though, as was Marco. Mom and Dad were impressed and awarded her flowers for being the best singer. And what did the competition think? “Chelsea was really good. I hate her,” said Ana. Well folks, there you have it in a nutshell.
After Mom and Dad “award” Chelsea flowers for best singing she gets another present from the producers. OMG, no-one had noticed that there was a fax machine on the stage until it starts receiving. It prints out a “good” fact about Chelsea. She volunteers at a local nursing home. Awe, that’s sweet. The last time we saw a “good fact” reward on this show was back in the season premier when Stefanie won the trivia contest and the Maloneys got to hear a good fact about her. I don’t know why I remember that. It’s a curse I tell you.
Leaving the blues club, the Dappers and Ladies are walking down the street. A mail carrier shows up with a remote control for Dad. What does this remote run? Why it’s a Jumbotron, baby! A large crowd of on-lookers gather to gawk at the ladies as video secrets are revealed. Some of the ladies seem upset that their secrets will be revealed in public. I wonder if they realize that there are at least 20 people who will be watching the show on national television.
The note on the remote control read: “To assure total privacy, press play.” Ok, that was funny.
Ana’s friend Kelsey – Ana stole answers from teacher’s office that she broke into. Denies, denies, denies, Mom does not like her. That’s two break-ins for Ana. If we find out about another one Ana will get to see if this jurisdiction has a “three-strikes” rule.
Meleiah’s friend Paul. Her cats Sampson and Scotty must approve of her boyfriends. Won’t date guy a second time if he won’t play with her kitty cats. Insert your own “other word for kitty joke here”. That’s so tame. Good grief, that’s the worst they can find. For some reason, Dad is put off by that. Dad needs to re-prioritize I think. Maybe Marco is a dog-lover.
Chelsea’s friend Trisha tattles that she flirts with male teachers to get good grades in school. Chelsea’s defense, I don’t have enough boobs to show cleavage to get good grades. Tarin, not digging it, can’t stand Chelsea and thinks that Chelsea is flaunting it despite not having it. Cali says she’s really tried to flaunt what she doesn’t have, and it is indeed harder than it sounds, but can be done.
Chauntal’s friend Sarah, she hunts down boyfriends of girls she’s mad at and makes out with them just for revenge. Ok, that’s pretty darn psycho. Is Dad still thinking that the cat approval test is an undesirable trait in the young ladies?
Tarin is afraid of commitment, and so she only dates “attached” guys. Serious commitment issues explained by “well, the guys I like don’t like me because they’re quiet and I’m obnoxious and loud.” Despite her obnoxious volume, I like Tarin because she at least strikes me as not so darn artificial.
Check Your Seatbelts
On their way into the limo to head home for the evening, the group is stopped and told that they need to eliminate one of the girls immediately. Mom and Dad ask Marco how he views the girls. He likes Ana and Chauntal, but wants to leave the decision to Mom and Dad. Dad lets the girls into the car one at a time. Ana, get in the car. Chelsea, Chauntal, get in the car. Mom and Dad obviously listen to Marco, as his “top two” are in the clear. It’s down to Tarin and Malieah. Tarin states she doesn’t like Malieah and doesn’t want to “lose” to her. Meoiuw. Malieah’s penchant for older men and deference to pussy cats makes her the first to leave. Mom is crying, actually sobbing. This is quite insane, as they haven’t even known her a whole day yet. Malieah is crying as the limo pulls away.
Breakfast with Wimbledon?
No, it’s not breakfast with Wimbledon, but it is early morning visit with your ex-boyfriends. How early? Mom got these four ladies up and didn’t even give them a chance to brush their hair. The results – hilarity or if you prefer hairlarity. Especially Chelsea, who had a bushel basket of hair sticking about her face while the exes come bust on the ladies for the amusement of Marco and his parents.
Ana’s ex Chris claims she is high maintenance and always wants to know where he was and rides him if he didn’t call her every night. She should know, as she’s been spying in his room.
Chelsea’s ex Brent confirms that she racked up a $400 food and drink bill one night by insisting she bring a friend along for an expensive date. Oooh, little miss bed-head denied that one. Guess she just got busted lying.
Chauntal cheated for revenge without breaking up with him after she’d heard that he had cheated on her. That’s mature.
Tarin’s ex Richard confirms that she’s not really into commitment as she surrounds herself with guy friends, all of whom she’s somewhat dating simultaneously.
Time for Mom and Dad to pick two for the lie detector test. Once again Mom and Dad ask Marco his thoughts. Marco hasn’t really clicked with Chelsea, thinks she’s not really into him. That, and her hair is an absolute fright, he doesn’t want to wake up anywhere near that on his trip to Greece.
Listening to Marco once again, Mom and Dad pick Chelsea and Tarin for the lie detector test. Oh look, Nick the lie detector guy is outside in the garden reading a paper. He is allowed to leave the dank basement for that one shot, and then back to the cellar for Nick.
Would you cook dinner for Marco 7 nights a week if he asked you to? Yes
Did you flirt with a teacher to improve your grades?
*here there is a break in the action where Chelsea has an overly dramatic moment, she cries and yelps that this is like prison. Nick asks if she needs to stop. She bravely soldiers on and answers, Yes
If Marco gained 30 pounds, would you still date him? Yes
Have you lied to Marco this weekend? No
Are you pretending to like Marco to win a trip to Greece? No
Would you sign a pre-nuptual agreement if you married Marco? Yes
*hey, wait a minute, no-one mentioned Marco is loaded. Why the hell is he on Meet My Folks when he should be the next Bachelor instead? Maybe in a couple of years, as he’s awful young.*
Have you ever gone after a friend’s boyfriend for revenge? No
Would you work to support Marco if he was unemployed and was going to stay home and raise your kids? Yes
*what an odd choice of question for her, Hmm*
Do you date men because they are not available? No
Would you be faithful to Marco? Yes
Well, tap tap tap, there are the nails on her coffin. She didn’t have one truthful answer in the bunch. Chelsea got the “money question” right, that she wasn’t pretending to like Marco just for the trip, but they didn’t show Tarin answering that question.
Tarin is gone. Chelsea is shocked that she’s still there after her little “drama” with the polygraph. Tarin left with some class, gave the other girls a hug.
Tune in Tuesday night for the conclusion. Thanks to Cali for her humorous additions.
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