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Thread: Manhunt 11-2 Recap: What ARE we Searching for?

  1. #11
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Wonderful job, Spegs m'dear! You had me captured with the introduction, and by the time I had finished the mass wit and hilarity, I was your veritable reading slave! Fantastic writing as always. You'd think that you did this for a living or something!

    A few fabulous quotes:

    Quote Originally Posted by spegs
    November 2, 2004: a historic date. The entire nation was breathless, all eyes riveted on the television. Hope was high. Life was beautiful. And then, as the night wore on, all our dreams for a better tomorrow came crashing brutally to the earth.

    They kicked Paulo off Manhunt? Has the world gone mad? Apocalypse now, please!!

    Did anyone else notice that “Tray” is just a small letter shuffle away from “Tyra”? Merely a coincidence? *one eyebrow raised in Spock-like fashion*

    Kev P. (embedded model-slash-jerk, for those lacking in short term memory)

    Maurice says, “They fooled me. They’re good actors.” Now, that’s not exactly a 1 + 1 = 2 kind of statement there, is it, Maury?

    “You can’t exude sexiness with [bleep]ing spandex.” – Kev O.
    Kev obviously hasn’t seen me in spandex.

    It’s eating disorder time. Circle up everybody. I’ll get the finger puppets.

    All alone in a big mirrored room, Hunter is jazzercising. The music shifts to something quite perky and poofy. If the color pink was a tune, this would be that tune. Hunter does a move identical to “the Freddy.” Through the glass wall, we see Maurice watching with a “what in the h…” expression. What’s the problem, Maury? Never seen jazz hands before? <---- Jazz hands!

    Tray mail is collected. All the boys are half asleep, many of them wrapped in big, fuzzy, polka-dotted blankies. Aww. The message is short, too the point and unrhymed. Today is the shoot. (Looks like the “luxury/feet” fiasco bought the Suvivor poet a pink slip.)

    Kev O. poses with his mountain bike held aloft over his shoulders, and the photographer is all Nicole Ritchie now (“That’s hot, that’s hot, squawk, polly wants a cracker”)

    Matt gets no shirt in the picture, and that’s another poor wardrobe choice. Dough boy doesn’t have a chance. *pokes belly* Tee hee!

    Ah hah![/Inspector Clueso]

    Slurp, slurp, slurp – sound of Kev. O’s thumb sucking

    Paulo feels better going in to this elimination ceremony than any of the others. With a loud crash of cymbals and The Donald’s trumpet fanfare, foreshadowing arrives on the scene.

    Courtney chimes in again to say that Rob is too feminine and pretty for Stuff magazines. Who knew Stuff had standards?

    It’s mole time. And it’s dirty. Dirty like a politician. Like a democrat (<-- I kid!).

  2. #12
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    hunter's distress

    I'm so glad you mentioned the bad editing, because I was sitting there going, "do they expect us to be that stupid to believe Hunter is that upset about Rob being gay?"

    Besides, they were really just random shots of Hunter trying to look like he's thinking really hard... I mean that in a good way!

    Once again, I LOVE your recaps!

  3. #13
    Christian,Mom,Teacher mom2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by evilgemini
    at some point i thought that carmen's breasts would tell they guys that thier is a mole amongst them
    It's been a long week ... and this had me
    "Quotes on the internet may not be accurate." - Abraham Lincoln

  4. #14
    Picture Perfect SnowflakeGirl's Avatar
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    Bravissima, Divissima! Another most excellent recap that tickled my funny bone and tantalized my senses.

    I missed watching this week, but your writing really does capture everything so vividly, I am just as satisfied reading your cap as I would be if I'd ogled the man-flesh with my very own eyes.

    The entire opening was classic. Here are some other parts I enjoyed:

    Quote Originally Posted by spegs
    (Did anyone else notice that “Tray” is just a small letter shuffle away from “Tyra”? Merely a coincidence? *one eyebrow raised in Spock-like fashion* Well, pretty much, yeah. But still, kinda cool.)

    The Really Bad Poem, which rhymes “luxury” with “feet,” forewarns the boys that they will be selling themselves. To advertising executives, get your mind out of the gutter! (Though that would make for an interesting challenge… )

    Kev P. (embedded model-slash-jerk, for those lacking in short term memory)

    “I condition my hair with lard from the bodies of strangled puppies.” But he didn’t. Though it would have been funny. For me.

    Once outside, Rob points out that selling shampoo is not exactly his bailiwick, seeing as he doesn’t really have hair.

    Paulo turns it on (and turns her on, and turns us on) with an almost audible *ding*.

    They ask the sasquatch if he has body hair. He asks if they want him to take his shirt off. “NO!! No, no, please for the love of all that is holy, no!” That’s what I said.

    “You can’t exude sexiness with [bleep]ing spandex.” – Kev O.
    Kev obviously hasn’t seen me in spandex.

    It’s eating disorder time. Circle up everybody. I’ll get the finger puppets.

    What’s the problem, Maury? Never seen jazz hands before?

    (Looks like the “luxury/feet” fiasco bought the Suvivor poet a pink slip.) Maury baby, you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggonit—oooh, look! Paulo has no shirt on… Um, yeah, we’re on to Maury now, right. He poses with an iPod. Sorry, that’s all I’ve got for Maury.

    Apparently, his butt looks fat in those pants. Please give me a minute while I enjoy this reversed stereotype from the female perspective. Thank you.

    Dough boy doesn’t have a chance. *pokes belly* Tee hee!

    After all, there’s no liquid left for tears in his desiccated body.

    Tangent: why are so many English B.A.’s serving fries when there is clearly a need for their help in the Reality TV Poetry Industry?

    Carmen’s boobs enter the room, and, a little while later, she follows.

    Carmen raps as she introduces Tate. If someone shot her right now, it would be classified as a mercy killing.

    Bruce says Tate is Antonio Banderas crossed with that guy in the Brady Bunch. But which guy? Greg, Mike? Oliver, Sam? (You know I’m going with Tiger on this one.) Kim says there is something in Tate’s eyes that a lot of these other guys don’t have. Like a stray chest hair? Or blank, staring idiocy?

    Paulo gets no intro. Bruce tells him that he’s more like a “character” than a model. Like John Stamos. Yes, the character “John Stamos.” Played by that guy named Uncle Jesse, right?

    Ahem. *raising hand politely* Bravo? The title of this show is “Manhunt: The Search for America’s Most Gorgeous Male Model,” right? Oh, you forgot about that part? I can understand how that would happen…it is a really long name. Well, carry on, I guess, with whatever it is you’re doing…

    Jon takes Excalibur from his fallen comrade, Paulo, and holds it aloft. Help us, Jon. You’re our only hope!!
    Thanks again, spegs, Manhunt is just ten million times better through your eyes!
    Sending good vibes and warm fuzzies your way..., SnowflakeGirl
    All New AMERICA'S TOP MODEL Recaps! Premiere Pt. 1 & Pt. 2, Ep. 3, Ep. 4, Dinah's Dynamite Ep. 5, Ep. 6, Ep. 7, Ep. 8, Ep. 9, Ep. 10, Ep. 11, Finale
    Relive every beautiful moment of America's Next Top Model...Click here for links to prior season recaps & interviews.

  5. #15
    FORT Fanatic |eogeO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spegs
    [b]
    Next week on Manhunt

    A night on the town gets caught on film. (Um…doesn’t everything get caught on film?) A surprise elimination will result. Or so they imply.

    Jon takes Excalibur from his fallen comrade, Paulo, and holds it aloft. Help us, Jon. You’re our only hope!!

    What are you searching for? I might have it. Ask me, what have you got to lose? spegs@fansofrealitytv.com
    We see Rob saying Hunter has this inner stripper coming out of him...we certainly can understand why!

  6. #16
    FORT Fanatic |eogeO's Avatar
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    so it was hunter who was dancing away...it's nothing wrong actually as dance is a good form of exercise instead of the usual gym equipment...the other guys must be thinking he's queer i guess...

  7. #17
    What's The 411? Fanatic277's Avatar
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    I'm late posting but excellent recap Spegs
    Quote Originally Posted by spegs
    They kicked Paulo off Manhunt? Has the world gone mad? Apocalypse now, please!!

    The Really Bad Poem, which rhymes “luxury” with “feet,” forewarns the boys that they will be selling themselves. To advertising executives, get your mind out of the gutter! (Though that would make for an interesting challenge… )

    Hunter climbs up on the table without an invitation. He is told to get off. He is told to get back on. And off. Hunter does not appreciate the panel’s sense of humor. I’m beginning to.

    It’s eating disorder time. Circle up everybody. I’ll get the finger puppets.

    Bruce Hulse (judge/THE Calvin Klein model) is suddenly on my screen out of nowhere. He says there are two ways to stay fit: don’t eat so much and exercise. The simplicity…it’s brilliant. Bruce Hulse: Judge, THE Calvin Klein model, weight-loss guru and author of the best-selling (and shortest ever) diet book: “Don’t eat so much and exercise.”

    The photographer seems to be channeling some strange mixture of Nicole Ritchie and Bonnie Hunt: “Oh, yeah, that’s hot. Oh, dear. Help me.”

    The diaper is a no-go, since the TP keeps breaking. “It’s real cheap stuff,” the assistant says. There’s your ad campaign right there!

    Maury baby, you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggonit—oooh, look! Paulo has no shirt on… Um, yeah, we’re on to Maury now, right. He poses with an iPod. Sorry, that’s all I’ve got for Maury.

    Paulo feels better going in to this elimination ceremony than any of the others. With a loud crash of cymbals and The Donald’s trumpet fanfare, foreshadowing arrives on the scene.

    The boys assemble in the gallery of pain, and check themselves out. As the photos are flashed across my screen, the one stand out is Matt. It went like this: perfect chest, perfect chest, perfect chest, squishy boy, perfect chest, perfect chest…

    Then Bruce asks how tall Jon is and points out a zit. Somebody feels threatened.

    Courtney chimes in again to say that Rob is too feminine and pretty for Stuff magazines. Who knew Stuff had standards?

    Kim says he needs to lay off the beer. But she might have been talking to Carmen.

    Carmen raps as she introduces Tate. If someone shot her right now, it would be classified as a mercy killing.

    Bruce demands the dirt on pretty Jon (ease up, old man! I doubt Jon’s going to move in on the sexy grandpa market).

    Bruce calls this the Superbowl of male models. I think he should have used an analogy that would be more comprehensible to his audience. Like “The Miss America Pageant of Male Models.”

    A night on the town gets caught on film. (Um…doesn’t everything get caught on film?) A surprise elimination will result. Or so they imply.
    I've practically quoted the entire recap but Manhunt wouldn't be the same to me without your hilarious recaps!

  8. #18
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spegs

    (Did anyone else notice that “Tray” is just a small letter shuffle away from “Tyra”? Merely a coincidence? *one eyebrow raised in Spock-like fashion* Well, pretty much, yeah. But still, kinda cool.)

    The Really Bad Poem, which rhymes “luxury” with “feet,” forewarns the boys that they will be selling themselves.


    One of the ladies would like to see a smile (wouldn’t we all?) and Paulo turns it on (and turns her on, and turns us on) with an almost audible *ding*. .

    Incomprehensibly, Tate mimes doing a breast exam before they kick him out.


    Maurice says, “They fooled me. They’re good actors.” Now, that’s not exactly a 1 + 1 = 2 kind of statement there, is it, Maury?

    He thinks he is doomed, and he doesn’t want to “go out like this.” Taken out by a pair of stretchy pants while in the line of duty.

    Kev O. continues to mutter to himself like a paranoid postal employee about to go on a shooting spree.

    (Looks like the “luxury/feet” fiasco bought the Suvivor poet a pink slip.)


    Tate goes first, and plays with his pretzels like any four-year-old. The team shaves his chest, yay!, and Tate complains that he’s been emasculated. Calm down, Tate. It’s not a kilt, for crying out loud!

    “It’s real cheap stuff,” the assistant says. There’s your ad campaign right there!


    Matt gets no shirt in the picture, and that’s another poor wardrobe choice. Dough boy doesn’t have a chance. *pokes belly* Tee hee!


    Paulo gets no intro. Bruce tells him that he’s more like a “character” than a model. Like John Stamos. Yes, the character “John Stamos.” Played by that guy named Uncle Jesse, right?


    K.P. says he can’t, because they have different looks. Yeah, they do. Paulo looks hot and Tate looks stupid.
    Excellent recap, spegs

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