7/26 Screen Caps - Taking a Shot at Romance
If you made it to the end of last week's screen caps (and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't) you know I wasn't very happy with how they turned out. I spent quite a bit of time going over them and comparing them to the other episodes of FLOM and WWTMMD that I've capped to try to figure out what the problem was (aside from the fact that everyone on the show is such a blatant money grubbing bastard). The problem, or at least part of it, is I got caught up trying to recap the episode. I would have one or two images trying to setup the scene so that you would have context for the one actually funny image, but this isn't supposed to be a recap, you don't need the setup you just need the punch lines.
So with that in mind let's see if I can't do better this week. We start off with a look at the five guys that are still in the running for a chance at [Austin Powers Mode] One Million Dollars [/Austin Powers Mode] or... something else, I can't remember what it is.
Our first hopeful is Caleb who [foreshadow] currently has [/foreshadow] the only check worth a million dollars. They told us what these guys do for a living but I didn't pay much attention to it at the time so my recollection may be a little off but I think Caleb is a porn star.
Next up is Chris with a cheque worth $250,000. Chris is, if I remember correctly, an Internet help desk operator.
Our third contestant is Morgan, Morgan's cheque is [foreshadow] currently [/foreshadow] only worth one single dollar. Morgan is an underarm deodorant tester.
Mike has a cheque worth $250,000. Mike might actually be here for Love because that's only one quarter of his usual fee as an International Freelance Assassin working out of East Germany.
Caleb Morgan, David has a cheque that's only worth one dollar. But that's pretty good for a guy who works as a busboy at Chuck E. Cheese.
"Good morning guys, it's Casual Friday here at the FLOM mansion. Actually it's not Casual Friday I just got tiered of being the only guy not dressed like a slob".
"Rachel looked like a total slut laying there, I love total sluts".
"I have a dollar's worth of artistic talent, good thing my cheque is worth a million dollars".
At this point the foreshadowing police came in and Rodney Kinged him for blatant foreshadowing without a license.
"Seeing Rachel laying there, all that was running through my mind was [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep], [bleep] [bleep]".
"I have no artistic talent so I wanted to do something symbolic. I don't know what this is symbolic of but I'll make something up, then I'll look deep".
"I once killed a guy in South Africa with a pastel".
This picture is depressing! What was he thinking! Wait a minute, that's Mike isn't it? That picture is amazing, fantastic, wonderful, it's brilliant. [Quickly checking over my shoulder] is that a guy on the roof across the street?
"Quiet on the set, The Last Little Bit of Sand take 47! Action!"
"Basically I have two choices: A, I shoot at the target or B, I shoot Caleb. I wonder if Rachel would be upset if I shot Caleb?"
"Row row row our boat gently across the lake... Row! I said row Boat-Boy! What the [bleep] are you doing now? That doesn't go there, ow, get, that goes in there, in there. Not there, ow, you get my hair wet and I'll have Mike take you out with nail clippers and a piece of string".
"Initially I was attracted to you then I found out the value of your cheque so I wasn't really feeling it so much anymore. Then I found out what you do for a living and now I'm totally hot for you, hitmen are the ultimate 'badboy'".
"She called Morgan, Jordan, [really bad Matt impression] What is going on?[/really bad Matt impression]"
My God look at this place...
Just the foyer is bigger than my apartment! [grumble, grumble]
"Skeet shooting, cool.
"Ka-bang? What the heck's 'Ka-Bang'?"
"I think it's possible to kill people with kindness, but it would be much easier with this shot gun".
"Don't run away, please don't run away. All the other girls always run away, please don't run away".
"If it wasn't for the million dollar cheque with my name on it, I'd be running away right about now".
"This is such an amazing opportunity, when am I ever going to get another opportunity to... wait, I can't say win a million bucks because he doesn't know I'm playing for cash... think, think get a chance to meet good looking guys Oh that was lame, I can meet good looking guys anywhere and be on TV, yah that's it, be on TV."
"Who ever thinks I look like this, step forward so I can smack you..."
"I wanted to show Morgan that I was interested in him, so I figured the best way to do that would be to count his teeth with my tongue".
Oooo, I think Andrea snuck back onto the show for just a moment...
"Man this show is boring, wake me when it's over".
"ahahahahahahahahah, stupid humans".
"I'll let you know right now that I'm not going to be taking your cheque because you'd probably kill me".
"Damn straight, you'd be dead before you hit the ground dollar-boy".
"Morgan, I know this has been explained a dozen times already but I'll run through what's going to happen one last time because we know that if you're on this show you're not that bright".
"Bye bye million dollar cheque, sniff".
"I brought out the C-Game when I had a dollar, now that I have a million I'm going to bring out the A-Game".
Do these guys not know about the power of the Jinx?
"The elimination will begin in a few hours, I suggest you get ready".
"A few hours, what are we chicks? Give us a shout when we have 10 minutes left".
"I never knew what your cheque was worth for sure".
"If you didn't know you shouldn't have gambled".
"Dude, I had a buck, how could I lose?"
"You should have picked someone else's cheque, a cheque that you knew the amount of".
I said it before and I'll say it again -- guy whining is never pretty.
"I'm not going to sell out Mike! If I sold out Mike they would probably never find my body".
"I killed a guy in Prague with a basketball once".
Hey NBC, thanks for pointing that out. I would never have figured out that this was going to be the elimination without the big sign.
"Guys, I just want to say that in the past few days I've had more fun playing you than ever before".
"It's really difficult to decide which guy to send home, I could be blowing my chance at a million dollars".
"I killed a guy with kindness one time, that was sweet".
Never let it be said that I won't run a joke into the ground, then back over it two or three times for good measure.
"Hold please.... [muzak] ... [/muzak] I'm sorry, all of our bachelors are busy. Please stay on the line for wait the next available bachelor, you will be connected faster than if you hang up and dial again [muzak] ... [/muzak]".
"Chris here, go ahead".
"Chris I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to put down Love's triple-scoop banana split and pick up loneliness's dry granola cookie and take your walk down FLOM's trail of tears".
Now those are so much better than last week's.