This week, will Jordan make the men barf? Will gravity win the ultimate battle with Erin's clothing choices? Will Erin's selection process finally be revealed? Join me as we learn the answers to these questions and many more . . .
As the episode opens, we see the men having breakfast. As if on cue, Jordan enters and asks the men to meet him in the main room for some business.
Vic spoke for millions of viewers everywhere when he says, “When you see Jordan, it makes you kind of sick to your stomach.”
Jordan tells the remaining contestants that six will go on two group dates with Erin. One will win a very special single date alone with Erin.
To decide the winner, he leads the men to a blackjack table. The rules are simple: win a hand, stay in the game. The losers are out and are relegated to the group date.
Doppler weather radar is showing a number of storm cells in the mid-state viewing area. Some with small hail and straight line winds. Weather spotters have reported seeing a cloud wall, which could be a sign that tornadic activity is forming. Viewers in this area should take cover in an enclosed room, and put blankets and pillows over your head for cover.
And a special note to Bumpkin, wherever you are: we at the local NBC affiliate are not the least concerned with your sense of urgency in seeing this show. And we’re not going to tell you if are hijacking the whole show, or just the commercial breaks. And you look really stupid with that pillow on your head.
Ten minutes of live weather radar follow in which your erstwhile FLOM2 recapper is madly PMing other FORTies begging them to watch the show. But to no avail. In the absence of other quality programming like Paradise Hotel last night, apparently everyone I know on the FORT was enjoying time with their family and were offline. Or else, I’m being widely ignored. But I’m not paranoid.
I miss the card game and the first group date. What follows is either pieced together from various sources or completely made up.
On the first hand, everyone but Wade and Vic are eliminated. In the second hand, Wade wins the card game, earning one-on-one time with Erin.
For the first group date, Greg, Vic and Chad V. meet Erin at a ropes course. Erin is dressed appropriately, as always. The challenge was an exercise in team building. And for Erin to keep her tube top up. Erin and one of the men would each stand on one of two parallel steel cables, holding on to one another for balance. Vic and Greg did the balancing act twice. Later Chad V. and Erin completed a log challenge.
On the ride back to the mansion, conversation turned to the age factor, which left Vic feeling reluctant to reveal that he is only 25. Erin (30), says she usually dates men who are 2-3 years older.
Ladies and gentlemen, let’s stop the presses! I think I’m finally beginning to see a pattern in Erin’s choices. In which case, only three of the original contestants qualified, and only one remains. Greg (34) should be a shoo-in for Erin’s final pick.
For a shiny red Skittle, here’s Trivia Question #1: Of the initial 15, who were the only other contestants older than Erin? Can you guess without peeking? The answer is at the bottom of this recap. Keep reading …..
Finally it’s time for Wade’s one-on-one date with Erin. We see Erin arrive at the bachelor’s mansion, thankfully in a SBD with a white sash and not one of those too-short camisoles she is so fond of this season. Wade looks dashing in Rob’s white tux.
They are picked up by a chauffer-driven vintage convertible car.
Ready for Trivia question #2? It’s in two parts. What was the year and make of the car? And for a bonus point: Where have we seen this car before?
Tonight, the pair have the Hollywood Bowl all to themselves. They enjoy a romantic dinner together in a setting both termed “unbelievable.” Erin said she felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and said their time together reminded her of her first date with Rob on the beach.
That Erin. See how nicely she set the producers up for yet another flashback to For Love or Money? She’s such a natural. At reading cue cards.
Over dinner Wade decides to let Erin know “who I am” in a lengthy session in which he waxes poetic about how other guys go for the physical attraction first. But not Wade. No way. He’s more “emotional than physical.”
In Wade’s honor, here’s a little exercise you can try at home: Stretch your arms out to the side. Now, raise them up over your head until your finger tips touch. Looks a little like an “O” … and if this were an official umpire sign, Wade would get his first penalty for “O-versharing.”
A booming voice invites Wade and Erin to make their way to the stage for a private concert. If only NBC had a real sense of humor, we’d get Toby Keith singing “Let’s Talk About Me” instead of this sedate balding guy singing love songs.
Erin, ever the diplomat, thinks Wade “might lack mystery,” but felt that they were connecting as they danced the night away. “We have such a great connection.” Yes, it’s Erin’s favorite buzz word, which after appearing at odd turns in the elimination ceremonies, leaves the viewer with absolutely no idea if ‘connecting’ is a good thing.
As the date ended, Wade knew the moment was ripe for a kiss, but hesitated too long. “I blew it.” Yes Wade, you did. Erin said it would be nice if he had shown her more of that emotion he was speaking of earlier, but also thinks that Wade would pick her over the money.
Back at the house, Wade was giddy about the evening. “Yes, I’m gonna brag!” he tells the other contestants. Again, Wade gets an O-vershare! penalty as he tells the men all about his date: Dinner! Dancing! And oh! The conversation flowed like wine! Which causes some of the others to look visibly nauseous.
The next day brings the second group date. Thomas, Eric and Chad F. meet at the Santa Monica Pier, with Erin wearing another of those ridiculous tops which inexplicably keep riding up to show off her quarter-bouncing abs.
This day, they had the amusement park all to themselves. They enjoy the all the rides and make their way to the arcade. One of the games involved throwing a football to knock over a moving target. And oh, what delicious irony! The prize is a stuffed bear wearing a 49’s jersey.
Which leads us to Trivia Question #3: Erin’s dad is a two-time pro-bowler who played for the San Francisco 49ers from 1957 to 1973. What is her father’s name? and for a one- point bonus: What position did he play?
The men are determined to win this prize to impress Erin. Chad F and Thomas both lob a nice bomb at the target and miss. Eric feels the pressure to win: “This is not a game for second place.”
Eric knocks over the target and wins the prize. Graciously, he presents the gift on the behalf of the trio. When Erin remarks that “at least Eric wins when it counts” I bang my head on my remote and wonder if I can think up an obvious joke to point out the absurdity of this for my recap. I try and fail. (Insert own joke here.)
Saying she needs to understand what their motives are, Erin rides a Ferris wheel with each of the men individually. Erin thinks Thomas is sweet, sincere and genuine. For Thomas, who is feeling a connection, the million dollar prize is just the icing on the cake and he doesn’t look at the prize money as an incentive.
Later, Erin says she feels like she’s ‘connected’ with Chad F. who boarded the Ferris wheel determined to separate himself from the other contenders. Erin thinks Chad is very genuine. As far as his motives, she speculates that since he already makes a lot of money, all he needs is a good woman. She is certain he would be more inclined to choose her over the money.
Eric, who wants to sweep Erin off her feet, also took a turn on the Ferris wheel. When he confesses to Erin that he was starting to fall for her, she replied simply, “Thanks.”
The next day, Mr. Obvious returns for a pronouncement. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear Jordan was reading my recaps. He’s getting almost peppy:
Two more will be eliminated
Leaving five more in the running
For a million bucks
See you tonight.
At least he’s spiced up the “a-million-dollars” line. But wait. Two eliminated? Now I am confused. NBC’s show tracker sheets indicated that three would be eliminated this episode. While I am ruminating on the implications of this, the men sit around at lunch and discuss their odds.
The guys seem to think Eric has the best odds. Wade they rank at 3-1 or 4-1. Wade says he thinks Eric is smelling the money, “I know I am.”
Eric says he’s as confident as he’s ever been. “So I’ve probably just jinxed myself.”
Now a short break for Trivia Question #4: Who was quoted in the title to this week's recap?
On to the elimination:
Wade: I’m not sure I’ve ever been on a date with someone so absolutely perfect. You kept me smiling the whole time.
Eric: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m entirely intrigued by you. The things you said on the Ferris wheel gave me a warm feeling.
Thomas: (greets with heartfelt hug) My, you are handsome. You have an amazing energy. I enjoy being around you. You have so many good qualities. Any woman would be so lucky to have you. (But) I feel like we are in different stages in our lives.
Chad V.: I had so much fun with you on the ropes course. You definitely took control. Typically, I like to carry my own weight (long pause) But I think you read me correctly.
Greg: You are darling. When we were on the ropes course, you put me on the spot about not staring at you during the elimination ceremonies. I will look into your eyes more in future ceremonies.
At this point only Vic and Chad F. remain on the stairs. Vic turns to Chad and mouths the words, “I’m out.” Chad smiles, turns to Vic and says, “No, I’m out.” Let’s see:
Chad F.: I think out of everybody here you and I are most similar. We have the same kind of job, we work in the same city, and your sense of humor is dead on with mine. Most people look for people who are similar to themselves. I am different. I tend to mesh with opposites. This is very tough.
Vic: On the ropes course, I felt so connected. You took me so much farther than I could have gone on my own. I wonder if the ropes course is any indication of how we would be in life.
Next week on For Love or Money 2: One of the men will reject Erin in favor of cold, hard cash. Who will it be? We are also teased with the reappearance of Rob in two weeks. (And we thought that by choosing the cash over the man, Erin would never (have) to see Rob again.) Vive la’ twist!
Are you a contestant on For Love or Money 2? In talks with the network this week, the FORT has secured NBC’s cooperation with contestant interviews. If you are a contestant and would be willing to participate in an interview, contact me privately at email@example.com
Now for the trivia answers. (wish I could print these upside down)
1. Sean (32) and Munch (31)
2. 1955 Thunderbird
(bonus) Erin’s date with Rob on FLOM1
3. John Brodie
6 points: Perfect. You officially have no life. The little people who live in your TV are not your friends. Please call a crisis center near you as soon as possible.
4-5 points: You are most probably female. Men have football trivia engraved on their DNA.
2-3 points: You are female, and have never read a Hot Rod magazine.
1 point: You are a perfectly normal human being. Carry on throughout your day secure in this knowledge.