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Good evening and welcome...welcome back to FORT's Last Comic Standing Forum. Another week of auditions and showcases, hope and heartbreak...and you decided to come and join us--that is so cool. Give yourselves a round of applause for supporting live comedy...and for being so cool.
We only have a couple of rules here... Please turn off your cell phones and try to keep your table conversations to a whisper, that's for your enjoyment and the enjoyment of the people around you. We've got hard working servers making certain you're taken care of as far as food and drink...and a warning that some performers may exercise their freedom of expression to its fullest. In other words, strap in and hold on...our recap is about to begin...
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Hey, Keep It Going For Last Comic Standing: The pg13 LCS Recap
Episode Three: Who are these PEOPLE? (Part One)
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Sometimes, I think NBC just likes to keep potential recappers on their toes. Last week's second episode of this season of Last Comic Standing was titled "Auditions 3"--because the first two-hour episode, which had the first three auditions, was actually auditions 1 and 2 and that made last week's one hour long episode, which was comprised of the fourth and fifth auditions, "Auditions 3."
Rrrrriiiiiiiiiiight.--Dr. Evil
What it means is that there's no reason for me to mention this week's first hour of Last Comic Standing because it is exactly the same as what I recapped last week.
Pardon me while I hit fast forward on my tape. Talk amongst yourselves... I'm sure someone famous did something stupid recently...discuss.
All right...an hour's worth of Los Angeles and Australian auditions have just whizzed past my eyes...and I didn't laugh once. Proving, I think, once and for all, the importance of...well, you know...timing.
Speaking of which, time for THIS WEEK'S SHOW!
Once again, we get two auditions in one hour...which, as we saw last week, means we get less back story on fewer comedians...but, at this stage of the process, maybe that's not such a bad thing. Our travels take us first to London, England--one of my favorite towns on the planet...and the comedy scene over there is both strong and distinctive. Hopefully our trio of judges will bag and bring back a few live ones...
LONDON AUDITIONS
We launch into our trip to Merry Old England with the iconic double decker bus (which, I understand, are, sadly, being phased out of London) and stepping off of that bus is the iconic Queen Elizabeth II--because hanging with the common folk is such a wonderful trait of English Royalty, no?
One of our esteemed trio of judges (I'm sorry--officially, they're "talent scouts," but I say let's call a judge "a judge"), Alonzo Bodden explains that he loves English humor because there are two distinct types--the kind that is so high-brow that you have to pretend you get it and the kind where someone throws a pie at you.
Let's just ignore the idea that any connoisseur of comedy would have to "pretend" to get jokes that they supposedly enjoy for the moment and focus in on the latter style of English humor, because I would offer a shiny British pound to any of these UK auditioners if one of them WOULD actually hit Ant in the face with a pie...
...and I don't think I'm alone in that sentiment either.
Our first auditioner is the SpellCheck resistant Thoumas Yianni, who causes Kathleen Madigan to permanently indent her forehead on the judge's--I'm sorry, scout's--table when he tumbles out of his self-introduction into a snore and then asks "Seriously, ladies--can't you sleep through THAT?" In Ant, this numbingly bad joke has caused the Botox has spread beyond his face into the rest of him, leaving him completely paralyzed--WHICH MAKES HIM ALL THE MORE VULNERABLE TO PIE ATTACK, PEOPLE!!!
Alonzo stops Thoumas from continuing--and Thoumas, as I imagine many auditioners have done but we just haven't been granted the ability to see it, complains that he should be given more time. Ant, awakening from his Botoxian stupor agrees. Thoumas then uses this opportunity to redeem himself to go into a bleep-worthy bit about penile enlargement. This poor decision shocks Kathleen, cracks up both the film crew and Thoumas himself and earns him a "Get out!" from Ant.
All in all, a successful day for Thoumas, I expect...BUT NO PIE.
Matt Kirshen is not a child. He's twenty six. He HAS to tell us that because he looks like he might be, at most, fourteen...and not only fourteen, but fourteen in a Dickens-sort of way. He doesn't so much look like a chimney sweep--but he looks like a human chimney broom...I just imagine that the adult chimney sweeps tie a rope around his ankles and then they lower him in, head first, into a chimney, and whatever soot is in that chimney ends up on Matt...and for that, they palm him a farthing.
I could be wrong. In fact, I am, because Matt is very funny and it's obvious that comedy is his trade, not chimney sweeping or pick-pocketing or dodging artfully.
"You see articles in the paper saying 'This generation of children are the most unhealthy ever,'" Matt points out to us. "But there were entire generations of children that had the plague. What's less healthy, computer games or trenchfoot? Dungeons & Dragons or dungeons...and dragons."
"Matt, you sold me on trenchfoot" offers Kathleen, welcoming Matt into the showcase later that night.
(Of course, had I known that Kathleen was BUYING various World War I-era diseases, I'd have pulled my eBay auction of the body lice that cause trench fever.)
Outside London's Comedy Store, Bill Bellamy--WAIT... BILL BELLAMY IS IN LONDON??? He didn't go to Sydney, he didn't go to Montreal and he didn't go to San Antonio...but he went to London???
Sorry, I was just surprised for a moment...surprised not only that Bill was there, but also regarding Bill's discussion with Matt about how long Matt's been doing comedy (five years) and how that's around the time that many comedians "find their voice." This discussion was nice to see on this show, which so often plays down the technical skills necessary to become a quality comedian. Bill's absolutely right--comedians need time to find out who they really are on stage...that many of the first years that you're in comedy, you're both performing what you THINK you should be doing and refining that with what you SEE and FEEL works for you on stage. In the end, these elements come together--and you start to express your unique comedic perspective.
It was very nice to see this behind-the-curtains concept get some air time.
Back to the auditions--and the next performer up is Spencer Brown "from London Town" which is just so precious of a self-introduction rhyme that I'm both compelled to want to pinch his cheek and steal it for myself.
I just don't know if I'm Peter Greyy from Elliott Bay has the same ring to it...or, worse, if I'll have to drench myself in water before taking the stage (which, considering the shoddy electrics in most comedy clubs, would probably be a very bad idea.)
Spencer is very "large" on stage. Not in size, but in how he projects himself on stage. Big arms, big eyes, big gestures, big vocalizations...
"Thank you, thank you..." he says, as if the room of three judg--talent scouts--is giving him an ovation. "Or, as our dyslexic friends would say...'Thank you.'"
Dirty secret--It can be a risky tactic to come to the stage with too much energy or by acting "too big." One of the first things that a comedian has to do on stage is instant win over an audience's natural tendency to not give in to laughter at first. It's like surface tension that you have to break--which is why a good MC at a comedy club is always trying to encourage the audience into feeling positive and inclusive to every performer that comes up. Getting that first laugh "uncrosses the arms"--but you can frighten an audience, like a turtle, by being too big or too energetic for the room at that moment. It takes a skilled comedian to know how to approach the temperamental emotional and energy level of any one particular crowd.
...and on this night, it seems for a moment that Spencer has offered up too much big for the questionable strength of his opening joke--and you can see the faces of our talent scouts (got it right, that time) start to sag a little as their expectations didn't seem to be met. Until Spencer, with masterful timing...having created the tension of a joke that seems to have failed, comes back with the tag that releases all of that tension with laughter.
"...(because it) doesn't affect your speech."
I can't tell you how good that must feel to drop that line on a crowd that thinks that you didn't tell a good joke. And our talent scouts, as hoodwinked as any audience would have been, appreciate the rug being pulled out from them and give Spencer his due laughter--proving that whatever risks he took in stage energy or approach were worth it.
He then goes into a bit about a great practical joke to play on old people in mobility scooters. The NBC editors take a great deal of time and effort to help us goofy Americans understand certain Anglicisms in Spencer's vocabulary...like pensioner and motorised (note the lack of a "z", which is how we'd have spelled motorized...and note also that the British don't call a "z" a "zee" but they call a "z" a "zed"--and now I'm just showing off my own Anglophilia, which is probably illegal in some states...) invalid carriage.
I think, even without the help, we all understand Spencer a great deal better than we understood some of the Ozzies in last week's auditions in Sydney.
Spencer's act-out of his practical joke (which is to basically pretend to be moving in super slow motion, shouting at the Rascal-rider to slow down) is impressive...and it exhibits a trait of many successful stand-ups (both here and across the pond) that really hasn't been championed by this show previous--the ability to be both smart-funny AND physical. We get plenty of Freak Show Montage moments of people being physical while being dumb-funny...but rarely, on this show, do we see someone acting-out anything good.
Cheers, Spencer.
Kathleen loves you, Spencer. Kathleen would buy a Spencer Brown doll if she could. (Has she contacted the RealDoll company? Maybe she could!)
Spencer is coming back for the showcase.
Rob Deb is next. Rob looks a little bit like our good friend Joe DeVito if Joe let himself go a bit. That explains Rob's opening bit about how he's auditioning for "Harry Potter and a Table of Pies."
Sorry Rob, a smirk is all you got for that one.
Ant explains that what he loves about the English comics is that he could tell them that they're horrible and they're still polite enough to thank him for having done so. Oooooh, if Ant would only go to Liverpool wearing a Man Utd jersey... (But I'd settle for someone hitting him with a pie.)
And seriously...in this particular interview segment, Ant looks as delusionally disheveled as Janice Dickinson. Scrape the heavy eyeliner off those surgically altered eyes and pull the AntMat off...and let's see Ant for what he really is: a far less funny version of Ross The Intern.
Anyway, what follows Ant's interview is our first Freak Show Montage of the show--this time centered around Ant telling someone that they're bad and the performers being, somehow, ok with that. (I've got to figure that they've got their OWN version of Celebrity Fit Club and, thus, have no idea who Ant is...and they're thinking that Ant is someone important enough to treat civilly. JUST HIT HIM WITH A PIE!!!)
The last guy in the montage, after hearing Ant tell him that he's not ready for the show, says that he doesn't think he is either...but still has the "courtesy" of hoping that the talent scouts enjoy the fine food offerings to be found in London. I put "courtesy" in quotes because it is a time honored tradition to joke about the bland cuisine of England. However, having been to London myself, I know that there actually is a great deal of fine food to be had there (although I have to admit that I'm more than a bit partial to Pizza Express, myself.)
We do a quick sights-of-London transition before we get a friend of Matt Kirshen's in the chimney sweep trade reminding us that we're still watching the London auditions.
Josh Howie is up next. He's got a bit of a young Woody Allen/Peter Sellers vibe about him. That seems promising.
Speaking of promising, Josh seems to want the camera crew to promise not to follow him as he cries all the way home if his audition doesn't go well. Obviously, this is a man who doesn't know enough about American reality television...and the only reason many of us watch these shows is to experience the cruel thrill of watching other people's dreams crushed in front of us on a regular basis.
Josh's audition centers around how he, a nerdy looking bespectacled white Jewish and British man, has been heavily influenced by black culture. It's a classic case of a comedian confounding expectations to mine laughs. Josh talks about the Jewish rap group he started, called "Circumcised." That gets a laugh from our friends at the scouts table.
As he goes on with this approach, you can tell that Josh is smart...but his jokes are skimming the surface a bit. They're not developing true deep laughs--but what they do is present Josh's intellectual and conversational style...so that when he takes a bit longer to set up a particular punchline (in this case, a joke about a song dealing with the serious difficulties of interfaith relationships) you aren't as impatient as you might be with other performers to get to the punchline that pays off big (the song title, Josh says in a very cold deadpan manner, no different from how he set the joke up, is "Convert, Bitch, Convert" which gets the true deep laughs that he was looking for.)
Josh is invited to come back for the showcase.
Hey. Are there any funny women in the United Kingdom? I seem to remember a few--Jennifer Saunders, Jo Brand, Eddie Izzard...
Tiffany Stevenson is the first female auditioner we've seen so far tonight. She's rocking a delightfully casual working-class accent with a touch of an "r" to "l" lisp. For fans of AbFab, think Magda (Kathy Burke) the managing editor of Patsy's magazine. Tiffany takes on how the "Desperate Housewives" of American television can't compete with the actually desperate housewives of England. Her description of Reg, the ninety year old gardener with an artificial hip is enough to welcome her back to the showcase show later that night.
"Look out, America, the French dog's coming for you" is how Andres Caballero introduces himself to us--and he tagged his boast with a point of the finger. He looks like he should star in a road company presentation of "Y Tu Mama Tambien" and his introductory graphic indicates that he's from the Republic of Ecuador and not France...but he's in London and he's on stage auditioning and he's claiming not to have taken his medication today.
"Mmmmm...dolphins...are gay sharks..." he says, mid-spasm. Kathleen, who may have been enchanted with his scruffy looking charm until that moment, shoots a look over at Ant--remember what I said about how comedy audiences react to racial material; by looking for someone of that race and seeing if it's ok to laugh or not? Well, this is the gay version of that phenomena. Ant, who may have also been enchanted with his scruffy looking charm until that moment, has already seen enough.
Andres moans with disappointment...or he moans because he started pinching his nipples. Ant seems disgusted by this response and demands to know why he's pinching his nipples. (Like there ever has to be a legitimate REASON for doing that?)
Andres explains that "when I get nervous, I touch my nipples."
"Ssswwwwweeeeeet," Kathleen responds (and I believe "responds" is the most accurate word choice), "Like it!"
Ant dismisses him with an even more culturally bewildering "dosvedanya" and the world has seen the last of Andres "Nervous Nipple Pincher" Caballero.
Ava Vidal is our next hopeful. I'm going to describe Ava as a smoky voiced black female comedian--first, because she sounds like been huffing on the back of a London cab's exhaust pipe before giving her interview; second, because she is a female comedian; third, because I couldn't think of the politically correct word to use for her since she's not African-American and African-Anglo doesn't make any sense. (Of course, in England, calling someone "black" might also be a pejorative term for describing someone of Indian or Pakistani origins...so, let's just move on to describing her comedy, shall we?)
Ava explains that she's been doing comedy for three and a half years but she was a prison officer for four years--and that she's learned how to deal with hecklers from her time in prison. Ohhhh, how I'd have loved to have shouted "Lock 'em down!" and then engaged in a series of control maintaining baton beatings on various rude audiences that I've experienced in my career...
Ava is either very confident or somewhat nervous because her approach to her delivery is rather casual. She seems barely able to muster enough energy to croak out her tale of nearly joining the Nation of Islam. Upon being told by NOI recruiters that white people stole gold and diamonds from black people, Ava points out that she's been watching rap videos on MTV and "we seem to have gotten most of it back."
That's a very funny line--but she nearly undercuts the entire thing by adding the phrase "Just for a joke, I said that I've been watching MTV" in the middle of how she worded this bit.
Dirty secret--Although comedians certainly mine their lives for things that others might find funny, there is a distinct difference between an anecdote and a funny story--and what Ava did was to walk dangerously close to an anecdote simply by pointing out that she did something "just as a joke." Comedy rewards the bold--but your friends need reassurance that you didn't actually mean to do what you're about to say you did. Many people feel they could do stand-up comedy because they make their friends laugh by telling their funny anecdotes...but it doesn't quite work that way. Your friends know you, they like you and they share a similar set of references. Audiences just want you to make them laugh...not to tell stories where "you had to be there" or "you had to know the people involved" or "that sounds just like ME complaining about MY job."
Nevertheless, Alonzo speaks for the group in saying that he thinks that Ava has what it takes to come back for the showcase.
Which brings us to Buddy.
Ahhhhh...Buddy, Buddy, Buddy...
There's a fine line between performance art and insanity. I never know which side of that line Emo Phillips is...or Andy Dick...or, now, Buddy...
Put Buddy on the USA Network...because they keep saying "Characters Welcome" and Buddy is a character and a half--and I think the character and the half are fighting each other.
Buddy looks like a bit like Elvis Costello...a little bit like Demetri Martin...a little bit like every college English major pouring over Ayn Rand novels at a local coffee shop while not letting anyone else touch his cache of Splenda... (Maybe even a little bit like Richard E. Grant from "Withnail & I"--but combined with those other things, too...)
Is it real or is it an act when Buddy starts his kvetching before hitting the stage? Is it real or is it an act when Buddy gets to the stage and says into the mic that he doesn't know what to do now? Is it real or is it an act when he hears the talents scouts tell him to tell a joke and he reacts like he's hearing this for the first time?
"Why do we send flowers on Valentine's Day?" Buddy wonders. "Fruit! Wouldn't that be great? But what if you were in a fruit shop and you couldn't decide...which would be romantic? A bunch of bananas or a single red grape?"
Is that a semi-clever joke or is that the serious conundrum of a mind unable to work out a particular answer to a self-made dilemma?
"Remember, if you're going to send a single red grape...send it express delivery," Buddy explains. "Because there is nothing less romantic...than a raisin."
Alonzo laughs, Ant rolls his eyes and Kathleen tells Buddy that he's "far out."
Ant starts to protest that he doesn't think that Buddy is to the caliber of the other comedians that they've advanced. Kathleen tells Ant that he's wrong...and Alonzo says that he likes him.
THAT'S TWO TO ONE...THAT'S ENOUGH TO GET A CALL BACK ACCORDING TO EVERYTHING WE'VE SEEN SO FAR ON THIS SHOW. SOMEONE SHUT UP ANT'S MOUTH HOLE WITH A PIE AND LET'S MOVE ON!
Nope. Ant is stomping his feet and refusing to play by the rules. He wants Buddy to tell "a joke"--which clearly means that Ant doesn't get that Buddy IS the joke...that his caffeinated lunatic persona is what makes him funny. There's no hope in him telling a standard set-up/punchline construction joke and winning Ant over...
Buddy, steps off the stage towards the talent scouts table and jauntily puts his leg up on a chair and says "So, it's jokes you want..." He wants to address Ant directly but he's obviously unaware of his name, so he boldly goes into the woods with "Is it...Francis?"
Francis! Yes! From now on, Ant should be known as Francis...and someone should shove a pie in Francis' face.
"Francis, it is!" shouts Kathleen as she reaches around Alonzo to poke her unbelieving and bewigged fellow scout. "Come on, Francis! Come, on!!!"
Buddy shows a maniacal grin that only a British dentist could love...and there's no stopping the Buddy love from Alonzo and Kathleen now.
Francis tries to play it off with a very queen-y "We are not amused..." (I think he was going for Queen Elizabeth II...but he could manage no better than simply "queen-y.")
Since he's still got his feet dug in deep, Buddy tries another joke. "Do you wear contacts?" he asks of Francis. When informed that he does not, Buddy explains that he's been trying to get good at determining who wears contact lenses. He used to spend his time determining who wears glasses, but he got too damn good at it.
Now the film crew is cracking up laughing at what Buddy's doing...and finally Francis caves in... Buddy is coming back for the showcase and the entire room full of talent scouts and crew explode into spontaneous applause.
Not to give too much a way, but this will be Buddy's shining moment on tonight's show...so drink it in, crazy man...drink it in and savor it!
"I should have taken it a bit more seriously," Buddy admits in an interview taped after his audition.
D'ya think?
Well, he'll have time to ponder that regret as we've reached our first commercial break of the night. Don't go anywhere...no, not even to the bathroom... Just think of this is a Continental Airlines flight!
We'll be right back!
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(Besides, you'd hate to miss the first of this week's “Joke of the Day.”
The set-up of the joke was “Where does a general keep his armies?”
The punchline:Click to see Spoiler:
Oh, how I would have loved to have had that be a question on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" back when Regis was hosting that game show. Make it a four hundred dollar question and see how many people would have to either ask the audience or 50/50 it...and then we could all weep for our country's troubled educational system together.)
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London at night is a beautiful, beautiful place. It's been too long since I've been back there...and I've never had the chance to perform comedy there. And damn you, Magical Elves for making me all sentimental like this just for coming out of commercial with an edited rush of London-at-night footage... Sigh.
Oh yeah, the commercials are over...time for the:
LONDON SHOWCASE
Bill's hosting the show--but we don't have time for him to make us laugh this week...we're launching right into those competing for those precious red envelopes...some we know, some we weren't given the chance to know...but Matt Kirshen says that this'll be a good show, no matter what happens, because the room is filled with comedians he truly respects. Good mannered lad, he.
Josh Howie is up first...looking like he's just spent a hard day at The Office (and shame on you if you haven't watched the original UK version of The Office...)
He starts by saying that he's been asked to speak a bit about being Jewish because he's been told that there aren't any Jewish comics in America--which brings a wonderful laugh of a room who realizes that to be a completely ridiculous assertion. Well done there, audience, well done.
"It's great being a Jewish comic," Josh explains. "If people don't laugh, it's not because you're not funny, it's because they're Nazis."
He went on to say that what he hopes to do, by discussing his being Jewish on-stage, is "to use my comedy to break down negative Jewish stereotypes...because I hear there's a lot of money in that."
Big laugh. And big concern--remember, if a comedian is moving on to later rounds of the competition, we might not get the chance to see their best stuff in these auditions...but if a comedian doesn't move on, the editors can show us their best work without worry. If you're rooting for Josh, you don't really want him to be funny now...unless he's just got so much funny stuff that he can just throw lines like these away...
Isn't it hard to be a fan of this show in these early stages? You have to force yourself to root for the unfunny ones who somehow seem to move on or experience premature heartbreak by liking the funny ones now.
Next up is Ava Vidal. You know, if she moves on...we'll have Thea Vidale and Ava Vidal in the second round... (And if you're wondering what happened to Ava's missing "e" at the end of her last name--I'd be worried that Thea ate it...)
Ava's voice is still cracking a bit--but there's a little more "oooomph" to this night's performance than her earlier one. (A crowd can definitely do that to a performer--nothing beats the energy boost you get when a room full of people is looking right at you, hoping you make them laugh.)
She tells of how people asked her if Madonna's reported adoption of another child from Malawi offended her. "She basically bought a black child and people were like 'Do you find that offensive? Do you find that offensive?'" Ava remembers. "...and I was like, 'No, because I've got two black kids at home..."
From here, we welcome back Spencer Brown...who is cute enough to get Francis' bleachblasted smile to open wide and to get his AntMat-topped head a-bobbin' before he even hits the microphone.
"I went to the supermarket and they've got this great new thing--next to the till is a sign that says 'Forgotten something? Don't worry. We'll just go and get it for you.'" Spencer says, delivering the message of the sign in an amazingly over the top manner.
"So now, I just walk in...pick up a basket and go straight to the till," Spencer says, before slapping his forehead as he acts out the moment, "'You are NOT gonna believe THIS!"
Spencer's got his fingers crossed, but if Alonzo's laughter is any indication--Spencer had a very good set.
Next up, the first person we didn't see during the audition process who nevertheless made it to the showcase round: Benny Boot. Benny reminds me an awful lot like a scruffier version of Graham Clark who also made the showcase of HIS audition city (Montreal) without having been mentioned in the audition process. Graham didn't move on...so, I'm willing to guess that Benny would be similarly doomed.
Nevertheless, Benny has a very funny bit about how villains in a James Bond movies always say that they've been "expecting" James Bond when Bond shows up to confront the baddie towards the end of the film.
"Really? Because I just worked my ass off to get into your base. I just killed all of your guards. I killed your number two. I'm [bleeping] exhausted!" Benny imagines Bond saying. "...and you could have just buzzed me up?"
Great bit. Shame you're doomed, Benny.
Back to the potentially undoomed with Tiffany Stevenson. Evidently last week's annoyance at too many jokes by women about dating was just a temporary concern, as Tiffany talks about her problems dating...specifically with too much public display of affection with a guy she went out on a date with. How he kept pawing her and pawing her (--and I should point out that when Tiffany says the word "pawing" she manages to sneak an "r" into it... I'm not sure how she does that, but this is the English language we're talking about...and they gave us the word "through" so who knows what other bizarre spelling concoctions they're preparing to inject into our speech) and how she had to tell him that she didn't want him to do that.
"He was like 'Oh, is that because when you were growing up your parents weren't tactile or very affectionate?'" Tiffany remembers him saying at the time. Her response was "No, it's in case I see someone better looking..."
The women in the audience loved her for that.
Some of you may remember seeing Rick Kiesewetter from the previews for Last Comic Standing that ran before the first episode aired, where he told the following great joke. "Sometimes it can be hard being Chinese...especially because I'm Japanese."
It can be hard not being seen in the audition process either, because you're doomed, Rick.
You're also surprisingly listed as being from London England...because you definitely sound like you have an American accent, you have a German last name and you're self-admittedly Japanese. It's like you're the human embodiment of World War II.
You're also very strong on the mic and very funny. You obviously know what you're doing, Rick...doomed or not.
Next up...Buddy.
Does Buddy know what he's doing? That's not so obvious.
And, in fact, the folks at Magical Elves...who haven't really shown us any examples of performers not going over very well in the showcase (with the possible exception of Matt Kazam from the New York auditions, but they showed him nailing a good saver joke about the delays in laughter being like the UN Translator delays...so, it wasn't really clear how his full set went...)...decide to show us the aching feeling of a watching a performer not getting over with the audience.
This audience isn't feeling Buddy. And I don't think Buddy has the experience or skill to try to win them over...or, if he does, he's just in one of those situations that every comedian eventually finds himself or herself in...that of being helpless to the moment...of being Slim Pickens riding your own particular bomb all the way to the very end (only with far less whoopin' and hollerin')
The Magical Elves show us Buddy's attempt at crowd work failing. The Magical Elves show us women staring at their fingernails while Buddy tries to come up with something to engage them in his particularly odd sense of humor and presentation. The Magical Elves show Buddy awkwardly trying to transition into material about his dying father. They show Kathleen hiding her face--because it's hard for comedians to watch other comedians who are really trying to do well and aren't able to make it happen.
Dirty secret--we comedians LOVE watching comedians who are struggling and go off the rails about it...because then it becomes, ever so briefly, about the comedian's entertainment...and not the audience's. I'm not saying this is a good thing...but when it happens, it can be a lot of fun for all of the wrong reasons. But what Buddy's going through...that's not fun for anyone...least of all Buddy.
Francis...no, let's go back to calling him Ant...because he can sadly gloat that he was alone in being right about Buddy... Ant looks over at Kathleen and makes a sound effect of a bomb going off while Buddy notices that the light that tells the performers to wrap things up is flashing at him.
Buddy does what many comedian before him have done in a similar position...he bails.
But the show, as Geoffrey Rush and Joseph Fiennes in "Shakespeare in Love" might tell you, must go on...
And next up is Matt Kirshen...and he reminds us that he isn't actually a child. With those impressive choppers on display, I'd be more concerned that Matt might actually be some sort of Rat/Human hybrid...or possibly a Were-Rat in mid transition...
Matt shares with us a joke that once had an audience member accuse Matt of being racist--but the audience member had displayed racism while making that accusation.
Here's the joke, which was about Hurricane Katrina: "Given that the place the floods happened was called New Orleans--what will they call the place when it's rebuilt? We live in a very commercialized society--maybe they should go the washing powder route...and call it New Improved Orleans Ultra... Now Whiter Than Ever!"
The audience responds, as they should, with a wonderful display of shock and amusement. Matt calls the moment and says "That's a LOVELY reaction...that's a boo, then a laugh, then a little clap. It's like my sex life."
Oh, Matt's got the gift...he definitely has the gift...for pushing an audience towards the edge, getting them to peek over it...but then bringing it back by showing self-vulnerability so that you're still likable enough to do that again...and again.
Nice work!
...and that's all we get for London Showcase sets... We head into the commercial break uncertain how many red envelopes will be handed out and who of the handful of comedians we've been given a chance to see will earn them...
But since I prevented you from bathrooming before, let's all go now...all at once...and see if we can freak out the people working for the Water Department.
"OH MY GOD, HERE COMES THE RUSH!!!"
Back after this...
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Hey, I don't know if you get HBO or not...but if you do, make certain that you catch "Flight of the Conchords"--one of their new Sunday night regular series. Brett and Jemaine are very funny New Zealand folk music artists who bring a wonderfully Kiwi spin on the somewhat similar "Tenacious D" concept... It's subtle, it's clever, it's wonderful...and I think you'll like it...and them...if you give it a chance.
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All right...hopefully you've passed all you need to pass because we're ready to find out who brings their comedy A-game from over there back to over here.
The commercials are over with, it's time for the...
LONDON RESULTS
Buddy, backstage, informs us that "this is career making stuff."
Yes...and again, going back to what you said earlier...perhaps you should have taken it a bit more seriously, Buddy.
And, as far as this new quote goes...just go ahead and take out the letter "m" and substitute the letters "b" and "r" there and you've more accurately painted the picture of your own situation, dear, dear, Buddy.
(On the other hand, I imagine that there are still adverts proclaiming your name on the remaining red double decker bus fleet, aren't there, Buddy? They're promoting a musical about the life of Buddy Holly, but that's hardly common knowledge now is it?)
As always, there are dozens of performers whose names we don't know, whose acts we haven't seen...and whose tonsorial choices boggle the mind. (Did you see the guy with the outlandish late 70's-era feathered swoop and impressive 'stache directly in front of Spencer Brown? To quote Jodie Foster from "Contact"--there are no words...no words...)
Ant, probably drunk with the power over everyone involved with the production of this show for having been the lone hold out against the charms of Buddy, gets to read off the names of the honored recipients of the red envelopes...
The first comic moving on from London is...Matt Kirshen.
The next comic moving on from London is...Ava Vidal.
She looks sufficiently stunned by this announcement...and again, there's something about this choice that reminds me of the other choices of underexperienced and not clearly shown on the show to be as funny as others shown in the process being advanced to the next round...but, again, any claims of the show being unfair or unbalanced or cast for reasons other than purely comedic merit have all been made at this show over previous years and it seems pointless to do so now since we should know, by now, what we're getting... Not only that, but I have to remind myself about the whole "advancing comics' edit" versus "not advancing comics' edit" factor.
I don't think I'd have advanced Ava based on what I saw here...and clearly, she's not entirely certain that she deserved to be advanced based on what SHE saw...but she's not giving that red envelope back (nor should she) and we'll be seeing more from her in the next round.
Still a lot of talented people on the stage when Ant announces that there's only one more slot remaining.
Yep. England, which has as strong of a stand-up comedy tradition as the United States, can only send three representatives to the LCS dance...and, again, no audience from outside of the continental United States can have a say in sending over their favorite...
This announcement has sent Spencer Brown's eyes into googley overdrive. If you thought they were big and Pixar-ish before, they've nearly gone full on Roger Rabbit now. He considers how strong Josh Howie was, he considers why they'd take Tiffany Stevenson, he considers the strength of Benny Boot...and everyone else (maybe with the exception of Buddy) who has joined him on that stage...
...but he shouldn't have worried.
The third and final comic moving on from London is...Spencer Brown.
He nearly knocks another performer right off the stage in his efforts to get that red envelope into his hands where, he thinks, it is safe (not knowing the tale of Brian Lazanik or Pete Dominick...who were given red envelopes and didn't end up going to Los Angeles.) Perhaps his amusing concern about the background check turning up what he did "with those...animals" is an actual concern?
"I feel the purpose of what I did today was to make everyone else look good," is Buddy's last word on the matter...and the last word from London.
...and, as is becoming far too usual, you'll have to read the second part of the pg13 recap of Episode Three of Last Comic Standing, Season Five in the next reply...because that's where it continues--in the land of the Vikings, Twins and Timberwolves...
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Originally Posted by pg13;2456088; 
