Here is a summary of the appearance. Courtesy of Marks Friggin
Last Comic Standing Winner John Heffron Comes In. 08/16/04. 8:05am
Howard had John Heffron come in next. He said that he tried to watch ''Last Comic Standing '' but it was taking up too much of his life so he had to bail. He knows that the show was a big hit though. John told Howard that he kind of wrecked his act by going on that show because he can't do the same material he did on the TV show. John said that he's lazy and he can't write a lot of new stuff. He told Howard that he gets a little drunk before going on stage to get comfortable and then kind of riffs. Robin wondered if he's going to suck when he gets on stage now that he has to come up with new material. He said he will probably suck but he'll have to bring up some old material that he stopped using years ago.
John did the Tonight Show with Pam Anderson on Friday night. Howard asked him about that and what kind of material he did on that show. John said he used some of the same material on there that he did on Last Comic Standing and got some mail about how he's using the same material. John said he goes on message boards and reads about himself. He can't believe that people take the time and effort to write such negative stuff about him. Howard told him he can't read that stuff because it brings you down. He talked about how he goes on his own message board and it's only the negative stuff you remember. John said there are people that campaign against him on the message boards.
Howard asked about one of the other comics that was in the finals. Jay London made it to the final six but Howard didn't see the final shows so he had no idea. John said that he was making pretty good money as a comic but now he's gotten a development deal with NBC and a comedy special on Comedy Central. There really wasn't much of a celebration for his win on Last Comic Standing. He doesn't get any big dollar prize or anything. Howard said that's kind of cheap and chintzy on NBC's part. He said ''shame on them'' for that and to Jay Mohr he gave a ''shame on him'' because he's a producer of the show and he's probably making some good money.
John said that he just got married a week ago and there are people on the message boards writing about her. He said that she read some of that stuff and got kind of upset about that stuff. Artie said he knows John and he was dating a hot chick a few years ago. The woman he married isn't the same chick though. John told Howard that his wife is a 5'10'' part-Asian chick. They talked about her for a short time. Howard also read John's bio and how he was Danny Bonaduce's sidekick for a while when he had his radio show. He got fired within the first 2 weeks. John said that Danny fired him and asked ''Who hired the f'ing'' mute?'' John said he even got punched by Danny a few times. He has some anger problems according to Howard. He said that Danny used to challenge him to fights all the time years ago but he never took him up on those challenges.
John told Howard that Danny once slapped him so hard that he gave him a concussion. He actually went out and bought a VCR, brought it home and was asked by his girlfriend why he bought the thing. John said he told her that he didn't buy one but it was sitting right there. Howard took some phone calls after that and let people ask John some questions. One guy asked John if anyone wanted to bang Tammy Pescatelli. John said that you never want to bang chicks like that when you're in comedy because you might have to work with them again some day. Another caller asked John how gay Ant was in the house during the show. John said that he could never be gay because it takes an extreme amount of energy to be that gay.
John brought up something that Howard had mentioned earlier when he was reading e-mail. Howard had mentioned how he gets e-mail about generic Viagra all the time so John said that he actually went online and got some. He tried it one night without telling his girlfriend about it but he never got to bang her. Some more people called in and asked John some questions. One guy brought up Last Comic Standing and how they really don't get cash prizes for their win. John said that the next season will have bigger cash prizes but he may not win that one.
A woman asked John about being on The Tonight Show with Pam Anderson and how that went. John only got a hand shake from Pam so howard quickly told him about how he was over in Pam's hotel room a couple of weeks back hanging out with her. After that he congratulated John on his win and started to wrap up the segment.
Chaunce Hayden called in and asked John if he regrets crying on the show. John said that he cried in the first house episode of the show when he beat a good friend of his in the comic challenge. Chaunce was asking the question because he ended up crying on Howard's show when he was trying out for Stuttering John's job. Howard wrapped up the interview a short time later and gave John a couple of plugs for his upcoming appearances and for his web site JohnHeffron.com.