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Thread: Recap 8/3: Milk, Whores, and Gnome Remorse

  1. #11
    It ain't easy being green Wayner's Avatar
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    Shaz, this was one terrific recap! I don't know how you're managing to keep plugging along every week, twice a week with nothing to recap but jokes, but you're doing a fantastic job!!!!

    They end. They always end. The clue is right there in the title, “temp”, short for “temporary” and/or “ha ha suckers, put covers on your OWN TPS reports…and bite me!” But this show, this LCS2 show, is something that is never ending. Never. We are here tonight for the should-be-final-show, and yet…we are not at the final show. We are in week 3 of the finals of the finals of the final show(s).

    I saw a joke opening, and I dashed for it. Ran! Ran to it like one might run into a lover’s arms across a field of daisies. Me and the joke…are one.

    When All Else Fails, Be the Same, Be Exactly the Same

    Within the first three seconds, Jay let’s out his first “thank you” and I can’t contain myself another second and I yell out, “holy *bad word* come ON!!!” Please, no! Stop it! Discontinue, por favor!!

    Before his disclaimer, I picture him going Tonya Harding and sweepin’ the legs of his competition, putting them all on peg legs (because people SO still use peg legs! They’re everywhere!)

    John Heffron’s skin looks sallow. All pale and waxy and nervous. Why is he nervous? Oh why? Hmmm….could it be…gnomicide!?!?!?!?!?!!! <---echo, echo, echo. Ha! I have not forgotten! Be safe, Gnomie! *in Daniel Day Lewis’s voice, “I will find you!” But back to John....the killer.
    Oh, and welcome fanofshazzer. Great handle. I just hope you realize that you're only a Garden Gnome avatar away from crossing the line between cute fan and creepy stalker person.

  2. #12
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Tonight we’ll be rifling through five comics.....and Jay London . . . where they will receive accolades, bragging rights, and a large heavy chrome belt with FUNNY on it.

    Disclaimer: All those that think I slammed Jay London above, please…shhh. Hush now.

    And for once he does not regale us with witticisms and funny little jokes. But he’s still all beefy jerky and twitches a lot, which is amusing in and of itself.

    In fact, the only non-suit wearers are Tammy, who’s wearing a 70’s, droopy, bunched up tube top and an enormous flower on her left yabbo, and Jay, who is wearing a tiny tutu over a shiny, orange unitard.

    Before his disclaimer, I picture him going Tonya Harding and sweepin’ the legs of his competition, putting them all on peg legs (because people SO still use peg legs! They’re everywhere!)

    Why is he nervous? Oh why? Hmmm….could it be…gnomicide!?!?!?!?!?!!! <---echo, echo, echo. Ha! I have not forgotten! But back to John....the killer.

    The Secret Honey Mustard Section

    Tammy prays backstage before we see the clip in which she tells us her entire goal: to take her millions, stockpile arms, and build an enormous robot nation. She says she needed to do something (legal) to take her family to the next level of luxury, the luxury where she can trade in her Camaro for a sound-proof Thunderbird.

    Boy howdy, does he want it. (Without using the words, “boy howdy,” as he is not a “boy howdy” kind of man.)

    Up next: The final three…revealed! And the show…it lasts longer, and longer, and longer, just like Juicy Fruit. Without the juiciness.
    Marvelous recap, Shazzalicious! Sadly, I just watched the show last night, thus am very late to your recap. Awesome work--you continue to work wonders with this show! I lurve how you have kept the running themes of the gnome and the Camaro. Brava, bravissima!

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