The bad news: a non-beloved advances into the final five. The good news: now, in my area, you can hear a LOT more Wang Chung on the radio. We are Wang Chunging our brains out.
Keepin’ it real, my shizzles!! You are not actually shizzles, but I enjoy my "sh" sounds and.....I move my lips when I type. And when I read. And when I play my Romancing the Bone CD, because man, no matter how hard I try, I can’t sing like a xylophone.)
Kathleen looks like she’s just eaten bad shrimp, and Gary says he watched Average Joe (he’s admitting it?? ha!) and says these guys weren’t too bright. Corey says none of these dudes are rooming with him, and covers himself with a pillow. Ahh… pillows: the impenetrable shield.
Ant, however, springs up from the couch in a very dramatic way and says that someone made a promise that they weren’t going to vote for him, and that person’s gonna PAY!! *lightning does not flash, but angst is felt* I find this amusing, as since this is not really Survivor, in many ways, Ant is responsible for getting himself voted off the isla...er...castle.
The next thing he does...is just....too painful to mention. He........he…picks up the yard gnome........and tosses him into the pool!! *muffled cry* Oh why? What has that gnome ever done to you, John, but stand there and make your days merry? We close in on a shot of the beaten gnome, bobbing face down in the water, sadly and cutely, it’s little gnome arm outstretched, as if to say, “save me.” No one does. Bastards.
Never forget! Viva la gnome!
I apologize right now for continuously discussing groin kicks, but I’m on a roll, and well, you’re really kind of stuck with this theme now. Sorry. Kind of.
Tonight, the head to head is going to be…a three way!! And he doesn’t mean that in a sexual way. This time. (But the FCC of 2045 says...yes.)
Well shall see if he does indeed shine, shine like a crazy diamond.
And yes, I’m summarizing. This recap is almost entirely made up of summaries. It is the way. The way of the warrior.
Somewhere, in the distance, I hear Sean Connery, “there can be only one.”