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Thread: Recap 7/13: Children of the Corn

  1. #11
    Combat Missions Fan Wolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shazzer
    I laughed, I cried, I was merry. As merry as the unneutered dog across the street from me. Well…maybe not that merry. I haven’t humped a trashcan or a yard gnome…yet. But I’m pretty damn merry. Let us begin!

    gnome love

    He looks so out of place in this shanty-town area, that I’m imagining huge-ass body guards just off screen whose presence has probably been the only thing that prevented Jay from being held down and spray painted orange by hooligans.

    Very quickly, the kids go from blank stares to Lord of the Flies in about three seconds flat

    The look on his face reminds me of someone, and I have flashbacks of the villain in the Karate Kid. I almost envision him saying, "sweep the leg!"

    Kathleen finishes by telling us that the only alliance she has is with Tammy, and would help her in any way she could. Which means that someday, she could be stuffing bodies into the back of a 1977 camaro. Why the camaro? I don't know...there are just some cars out there that scream "dead body inside" and the camaro is one.Plus, Tammy has that Jackie Brown vibe.
    You had me with the Children of the Corn title.
    Excellent recap, Shazz.

  2. #12
    God Bless America! Rumpshaker's Avatar
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    Fantastic recap, as usual, Shazzer! I find myself pacing during the week, scanning this site, eagerly awaiting your hysterical recaps. You're a wonderful writer, and paint quite the picture for your readers. Thanks so much for doing what you do!
    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

  3. #13
    Christian,Mom,Teacher mom2's Avatar
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    New to LCS this year, do the eliminated 5 have a chance to re-enter the competition or are they just there to decide who goes up against each other?
    "Quotes on the internet may not be accurate." - Abraham Lincoln

  4. #14
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Shazzer, I laughed! I cried! Too funny for words! And by the way, you captured every moment-I won't have to watch this wonderful show when I can read your recap!

  5. #15
    Blue Mooooooooon Blue Meanie's Avatar
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    Thanks for the recap. Very witty, and is usually the case, funnier than the show.
    Paintin' the Town Blue!

  6. #16
    It ain't easy being green Wayner's Avatar
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    Anyhow, I would have liked the head to speak, maybe like the great and powerful Oz, but ah well, you can't have it all.

    Jay ends up feeding him, though, which I think buys favors that Jay can use later.

    Alonzo pumps weights and Tammy bench presses a gnome, which you KNOW makes me happy. I have renewed respect for Tammy. Or maybe it's just the gnome-love talking. Yeah, I think it’s the gnome love.

    The cheesy orange color is offset by the rich tones in the pan, and it is a thing of beauty. Unexcited by sandwich beauty?

    I don't know...there are just some cars out there that scream "dead body inside" and the camaro is one.
    Great job Shaz! I love the way you describe things. And I'll never look at a sandwich - or a camero - the same way again.

  7. #17
    RESIDENT JEDI MASTER Stargazer's Avatar
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    Awesome Shazz! I'm never, ever disappointed in your recaps. They always make me laugh merrily. Perhaps merry enough for some gnome lovin of my own. The dog's sinister plans were the best part for me. Great job!

    Quote Originally Posted by Shazzer
    Well…maybe not that merry. I haven’t humped a trashcan or a yard gnome…yet. But I’m pretty damn merry. Let us begin!

    Because nothin' adds the spice like pretty flowers.

    Anyhow, I would have liked the head to speak, maybe like the great and powerful Oz, but ah well, you can't have it all.

    The dog is even less likely to offer his opinions on who should be ousted from the house. Unless necessary. I'm assuming he's gunning for Jay London, whose pet-like appeal offers him his stiffest competition. Jay ends up feeding him, though, which I think buys favors that Jay can use later. Kathleen says if she could get the dog to eat one comic a night, she’d be set.

    There are approximately 3.5 million of them, and the comics’ eyes say, “oh sh**.”
    ]
    "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda

    "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson

  8. #18
    FORT Fogey
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    Missed this episode, so thanks for the hilarious and thorough re-cap, Shazzer.

  9. #19
    daydream believer oneTVslave's Avatar
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    Shazzer, you are da bomb. You crack me up every time!
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  10. #20
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Wonderful job, Shazzalicious! I actually kind of enjoyed this episode (despite Jay being voted out, which was sad ), but your recap was even better. I always enjoy your distinctive brand of humor.

    It seems that Spegs has beaten me to the punch at the quoting game this time and taken all the good ones. *sigh* Nevertheless, it was still filled with *GOLD!!!*

    Annnyhow, Morgan narrated his little heart out. He was even nominated for an Oscar. You may wonder what this has to do with comedy....and you would be correct to wonder.

    I laughed, I cried, I was merry. As merry as the unneutered dog across the street from me. Well…maybe not that merry.

    Anyhow, I would have liked the head to speak, maybe like the great and powerful Oz, but ah well, you can't have it all.

    Whoever is in her way, needs to move, and we see Jay forshadow with, “someone’s head is on the chopping block.” NBC spares us the little graphic of Jay’s head spinning separately from his body.

    At the house, Jay decides to make grilled cheese sandwiches for all, and everyone’s shocked and amazed that the cave man makes fire.

    The drapes open, and a huge flood of screaming kids run through the room. There are approximately 3.5 million of them, and the comics’ eyes say, “oh sh**.”

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