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Thread: Favorite Joke This Season

  1. #61
    FORT Fogey
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    Quote Originally Posted by PIKATSSO
    I have to admit. Flake, I'm kind of surprised you found Jim Norton's escort joke funny...actually the girl he requested was "deformed." not retarded...but I remember thinking to myself...Why ask for anyone at all...there's always a bar open SOMEWHERE...why not just go pick up some drunken skank, ply her with a couple more beers, you'll both be happy and you've saved yourself about $2,990?
    He called the escort service because nothing else was open. Was part of the joke.

  2. #62
    Picture Perfect SnowflakeGirl's Avatar
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    A post from Addikted in another thread reminded me of the Heffron bit on the Trapper Keeper. Just hearing the term "Trapper Keeper" again after all these years had me tickled.

    (except instead of VH on mine it would have been Smiths, the Cure, or DM)
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  3. #63
    FORT Fogey candor's Avatar
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    One guy, I don't know his name, did that joke about how his girlfriend was self-centered ("She was always me, me, me. Stay away from ME...")
    It was funnier the first time I heard it ... [cue David Spade voice] from Garry Shandling. Here was Shandling's joke:
    "I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know these kind of girls: 'I'm hot. I'm on fire. Me, me, me.' You know. 'Help me, put me out.' Come on, could we talk about me just a little bit?"
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  4. #64
    PSi
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    A post from Addikted in another thread reminded me of the Heffron bit on the Trapper Keeper. Just hearing the term "Trapper Keeper" again after all these years had me tickled.

    (except instead of VH on mine it would have been Smiths, the Cure, or DM)

    I never ever defaced my trapper keeper. It was as clean as the day i got it. Band logos and other scribblings were reserved for the notebooks inside

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    I can't remember which comic it was, but I had a laugh to myself today because I was thinking about the joke in which he says that men don't know how to check out women without getting in trouble with their girlfriends/wives.

    His method for looking at other women in front of his girlfriend is to criticize the other girl, like saying--Look at how she's dressed, with all her stuff hanging out. Isn't that a shame?--or something like that. Not only is that funny, it's also valuable advice to all you straight guys out there.

    That guy is named Corey Holcomb. He was actually one of my favorites... I saw him perform as an opening act here at the Improv in Irvine California late last year... and this guy's set had me cracking up!
    I don't know if he'll still do it, but he seems to like opening up each set with "This is the ghetto portion of your show" lol

    He's got some great material, and I can't wait to see how he does.

    On a side note, I am a huge fan of Louis Ramey too... too bad he got cut. I loved his 30 minute stand-up on Comedy Central. I can't believe they gave it to that "mommy mommy mommy" girl instead of an actually talented comedian with lots of material. (I guarantee everyone will be sick of that chick by the 3rd week if she makes it into the house)

    I liked Ramey's joke - So the cop pulls me over and asks "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?" I say "I dunno, I was speeding???" He says "Nooooo.... it's because you're black!" lol

  6. #66
    FORT Regular dwan's_servant's Avatar
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    i think alot of my favorites came from ant. I liked the whole " i need to get a new dentist" and "four quuen's always beat a straight" Tanalyee Davis was the funniest and was robbed. i reallyed like the girl with the secilian jokes about her grandfather. I seen her before on National Lamppons funny money before. Jay London was so bland and his jokes were so unoriginal that they were original. I think he might win. If i have to see that guy who keeps on say " People go up to me and ask me if i am... (forget the name)

    My favorite joke is: " I know what your thinking. He's Irianian and Jewish. I don't know if i should hate him,.... or hate him"

    don't for get that noun with the angel dust she was so hilarious.
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  7. #67
    FORT Fan PIKATSSO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by touque
    He called the escort service because nothing else was open. Was part of the joke.
    I could be wrong, but as I recall, Toque, he was looking for something to EAT, not DRINK...I don't care if you're in Salt Lake City Utah, there's always somewhere to find a place to drink (IMHO)...but in any case, your comment helps me to understand why it is you appreciate Jim Norton's brand of humor.

  8. #68
    FORT Fan PIKATSSO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    Actually, Pikatsso, the $3000 charge was for the "really pretty girl." He requested the deformed girl for the discount. And the pizza. I can respect a bargain hunter.

    Besides, you know what Jim Norton looks like. No girl, skank or otherwise, is that drunk.
    Well, here we go again...Believe it or not, I actually did grasp the fact that the $3,000 was for the "really pretty girl" and the $50 was for the deformed girl, but as it seems necessary to explain the rather apparent lack of humor in my joke...

    If he were willing to pay $50 for a "deformed" girl (as opposed to your reference to the girl as being "retarded"), than why not just pick up a DRUNKEN SKANK for the couple of bucks in cheap booze (beer) it would cost him to get even a drunken skank drunk enough to sleep with him...he would at least save something between $0 to $50, or (simply because it seemed funnier to me), he would save closer to $3,000. Now that I think about it, getting a girl drunk enough to sleep with HIM might cost more than the $50 for the deformed chick...oh well...

    I also think he was hoping the hooker might bring along a snack...but I really don't recall anything about pizza per se...so you'll have to refresh my memory on that count.

    I hope this helps you to understand that I was just being cynical. Sorry for the confusion.

  9. #69
    FORT Fan PIKATSSO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PIKATSSO
    I apologize to Sharon Houston...not about not getting her humor...but about calling her Susan.
    Wow...have to apologize yet again...apparently she spells her name Huston, not Houston...SORRY, SHARON! But I still don't get the wedding bit you did...maybe Touque or Flake can explain it to me...

  10. #70
    eny
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    The thread is favorite joke this season , not what YOU think is wrong about other peoples perception of a broadcasted joke.

    Please visit our FAQ re baiting and slamming other members.We do have a zero tolerance policy , and yes we do ban .

    Back to the funny stuff.

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