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Thread: Joe Millionaire - Episode Five Recap

  1. #11
    Mizz Piper
    I waited all day to read your review and once again I was not disappointed. Several times I had to stop reading to catch my breath from laughing. Thanks for a great post!

  2. #12
    Great job Bill. I love reading these recaps even though I have no interest in the show. I keep waiting for you to tell us that Zora is gone so my ears will stop burning.

  3. #13

    Re: Joe Millionaire - Episode Five Recap

    Originally posted by Bill_in_PDX
    Melissa smiles and thanks him, all the while probably thinking, "No kidding! I am trying to fall out of this thing, now slide on over here sailor and come to mama!"
    Predictibly, she is even "out of her element" when trying to act slutty.

    On the way to the hotel, they pass a bulldozer hard at work. Evan panics of course, as he is probably worried that one of his construction buddies will recognize him. They get jobs in Corsica all the time you know. He covers it well by joking with Zora.

    They end up at the pool. Evan is in the water swimming, while always shy Zora walks along the edge in her robe. She gets a little too close to the edge, and Evan pulls her in. Nice plan there EvanÖ youíve got a woman who is very cautious around you, and how do you break that ice? Thatís it, pull her into the pool by surprise!
    Well, I think she may have been inviting it. She was leaning over and splashing him after all.

    Once again we return to the chateau where we find Sarah and Melissa anxiously awaiting Zoraís return. They hear footsteps, and are ready to pounce, but it is only Paul. They tease him, saying they thought he was Zora, and Paulís contempt for these two contestants is quite obvious when he gets a little snippy and says, "I would have thought you would have learned the difference by now."
    I am glad someone else interpreted his comments in that way. It does seem that certainly has contempt for Sarah and Melissa M. Who can blame him, of course.

    They go for a moonlit walk, and stumble upon yet another loaded champagne bottle. This is just cruel and unusual punishment for the local populace. I donít see anyone else around though, so I have to assume that the local hazmat team roped off the area for safety.
    *spews coffee onto the monitor* =)

    Thereís our host Alex! She has ditched the Pier One garb and has instead decided to grab one of the hallway rugs at the chateau and use it as a skirt.
    LOL! Yes, that outfit was yet another disgrace.

    Evan tells us that in the end, he simply was not attracted to Melissa. HmmmÖ didnít seem that way in your room that night Evan.

    I think that was creative editing. Considering how long and how desperately Melissa M threw herself at Evan and practically went face down into his crotch, his lack of response to her seemed to indicate his interest was minimal.

  4. #14
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    The mitten state
    The recap is much better then the show Bill

    Now I know what I missed when I
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  5. #15
    Ah you know you've done well when your fans wait more for the recaps than the show.

  6. #16
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Wonderful stuff as again Bill.
    Very funny
    "That's Numberwang!"

  7. #17
    The new me! Feifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Another hit Bill!
    It occurred to me that no matter how bleak things might seem at times, at least I have a head. ----Stargazer

  8. #18
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Looking for a place to happen
    Meanwhile, the Cancer Twins
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.

  9. #19
    Oh yes! The recap is DEFINITELY better than the real McCoy! I don't even have to watch next week......I can just save myself the pain of that hour and read Bill's recap!!!
    Thanks Bill! A job well done!

  10. #20
    Another awesome recap. Great job, Bill!
    I just have to quote a few of my favorite lines:
    ďPlease, pleaseÖ no more!Ē says a distressed Saddam, sporting numerous cork bruises on his face. ďI will tell you where the weapons are; just donít let DevilEvan have more champagne bottles!Ē

    Maybe he thought about all of those diseases that have celebrity endorsers, and he wanted in on that action. All of the good diseases are taken, so toe fungus it is.

    Evan panics of course, as he is probably worried that one of his construction buddies will recognize him. They get jobs in Corsica all the time you know.

    Zora from sharing some of her other recent dreams with us, including: Water is wet, Fire is hot, and the most telling, breathing is good. Run to the light Carol Anne!

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