Hey nice review Bill, I have one a bit different from yours but not as nice it's a little off the wall. I tried to post it here but I didn't have enough room because it's four pages long. Sorry about that. Once you get rolling on making good fun of the show you just can't stop.
Here's part of it...
WEEK THREE OF JOE MILLIONAIRE
Swish, Swish, goes my expensive brandy in it’s crystal sifter...
AHHHHHH----- Our little bachelor and his posse of debutantes find themselves in the ultimate tourist trap we know as Paris. Are the girls impressed? Of course they are! With their glass sapphires and plastic pearls they’re raring to go! Why do I hint that the jewelry is fake? You don’t think Fox would of spent that much on this facade, do you? It’s not like the girls are smart.
Why do I call Paris a tourist trap? It’s over priced, the people aren’t friendly, and it reminds me of an antique lover’s Disney Land. The Eifel Tower bares a strong resemblance to Cinderella’s Castle. The food is four times as much as anywhere else in France, there are bathrooms everywhere, and Pierre is waiting to rip you off on every corner. All the ingredients for foreign tourism at it’s finest.
The American Audience of Joe Millionaire is getting just a tad suspicious of our bachelor when we think about his earnings. Fox forgot to put our dear boy Evan in a job where we would believe that he actually made 19K a year. Being an excavator we all know that he makes $30.00 an hour plus anyone notice that Evan isn’t the beer swiggin uneducated type? He’s actually polite, has manners, can talk in complete sentences without slang and doesn’t have the beer gut of the typical over 25 construction worker. Rumor has it that Evan’s daddy is loaded. Maybe the joke will be on us?
So this week we have the five dates and we get to truly see if there is any chemistry between Evan and his gold digging harem. When they arrive at the hotel does anyone notice that they stick him in room 711? Coincidence? I think not! Evan’s door is going to be the convenience store of loooooovvvveeeeeeeee.
Evan Versus “The Hat”
I would like to first comment that Evan picked women that have the worst fashion sense ever. I don’t think we made a very good impression on the fashion capital of the world especially with our girl MOJO as our fashion ambassador! She’d have to be stoned off her mind to think that hat was cool. Sorry I just can’t get over her nick name. Giggle Giggle
“Oh, girls do you like my hat?” She asks begging for approval.
As the girls all cram their fists in their mouths to the point of gagging, they of course gave “The HAT” rave reviews. As Mojo walks down the hotel corridor she is perplexed by hysterical laughter coming from her room. An ambulance is soon called because one girl was laughing so hard that she went into an epilectic seizure.
Mojo enters Evan’s room and you can see his butler calling the fashion police immediately to bring a number of dresses that wouldn’t go with the “Hat from Hell!” Fox was doing everything within it’s power to stop the “Hat from invading Paris.” Unfortunately she was determined to wear it and not one of the $2,000 dollar designer dresses (Fox was sparing no expense on the emergency!) would dissuade her from making a suicidal fashion statement and giving all American Women a bad name. Imagine the hate mail that came pouring in? The hat kind of reminded me of Fester’s hat from one of Clint Eastwood’s movies or was it something else?
During dinner they made an attempt at conversation. Evan noted that they couldn’t really converse so he sat there trying to look at her cleavage which was hard to see with “The Hat” shading it. Mojo thought they communicated quite well and I kept wondering if these two were on the same date. The hat kind of reminded me of a hat in Hocus Pocus the movie, you remember Bette Midler made the best witch she was borned to play that part, so was Sarah Jessica Parker, with noses like that it was total type casting.
Then it was off to go see the tacky tourist attraction “Moulin Rouge” where they were escorted pass the long line of tourists because “The Hat” made Mojo look like British Royalty. So she was given the respect she was due. Hey, I know where I’ve seen that hat before! It’s Carmen Sandiego’s hat! Cool! I found her I get the reward!!!!!
I have a personal web site under construction that I do for fun...
If you want to go read the rest please do and I hope you enjoy it.
Hey, was that really Mojo's mother on the Mojo/Fluff thread? No wayyyyyyy....
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