+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 8 FirstFirst 12345678 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 71

Thread: ***SPOILER*** The last 2 ladies standing

  1. #21
    sunsiray
    Guest
    Originally posted by Jill
    So it's not OK to want someone to lean on, but its OK to let all sorts of men give one expensive gifts and travel while apparently letting them believe one is interested in a serious relationship(leading to marriage proposals)? I'm having a lot of trouble justifying your criticism of other women against what you have told us.
    I realize that email and postings are a difficult means to try to communicate. I am fairly certain that I never said "letting them believe one is interested in a serious relationship". I'm not criticizing women at at large, I'm making an observation.

    Let me try to convey some clarity: the gifts were all surprises given to me. As I wrote on another thread, I stopped accepting diamonds when I became enlightened to the war/suffering aspects of them. And I certainly never accepted gifts from men who I felt were using them to buy my companionship.

    Dating is an exploratory activity. I was always asked out on subsequent dates. Some I accepted and some I did not. I might add that the gifts were without exception given to me on the FIRST DATE. One of the gifts from an Englishman means a lot to me because he took the time to think about the things I am interested in. It was a book!

    And this is not a one-way street with the gift-giving. If I dated a man more than once, I thought about what types of things a date might be interested in and gave gifts as well. You might think this is silly, but I took 5 cans of car paint to one of my dates because he couldn't get it to match his car in France. He was ecstatic that he got matching paint for one of his collector cars.

    As I said, email & postings are sometimes difficult to convey exact meanings. I try my best to write with clarity, but apparently I'm not the best at it.

  2. #22
    sunsiray
    Guest
    Originally posted by lobeck
    Well, you're certainly entitled to your opinion, sunsiray, but I disagree with you. You sound like quite the expert/authority on this and other things...are you really Dr. Phil?

    Thanks for the comparison, but no, I'm not Dr. Phil. I am however an "observer" of the human race. Always have been.

    I think for you to make generalizations/implications that most women aren't able to date men solely for their company (like you are) is unfounded and unfair. I know plenty of women--old AND young--who have dated and/or married for LOVE and not because they are lonely, insecure, or gold diggers. These women are stong, secure women who certainly "don't need someone to lean on" so they "don't have to face the harsh realities of life."

    I know a ton of strong women young & old who are self-sufficient and married for love also.

    Perhaps if I added some clarity that I observe *all* women might help. I don't know what the total population of the USA is, but my generalization was across the board. There are a lot more poor people in this country than there are rich ones. I'm not sure what the percentage is for the middle class. If you look at the *entire* population, there's a lot of marrying for the wrong reasons (the US divorce rate of 50%). My pet peeve wrong reason is, "I'm pregnant and you're the daddy." I think the figures for AFDC and child-support would support my arm-chair observation that there's something terribly wrong with a lot (not all) of my half of the population's mindset.

    You mention your dismay about the "Cinderella Myth" and how the movie "Pretty Woman" did nothing to dispell the myth. I think I understand your point (though I could not find your post about the myth after a quick search), but I have a question. Now, in that movie, Julia Roberts' characters accepts lots of gifts, etc. from Richard Gere's character. You profess that you are a self-sufficient person, yet you also seem to have accepted a lot of gifts (jewelry, trips, etc.) from men. What's the difference?
    First, the trips: The men who asked me out on dates did not live in my city. That makes travel a necessity.

    Second, the gifts: I addressed those in a different thread.

    Third, the dates: As with the marriage proposals, I was asked out by a lot more men than I went out with. I commented that dating is an exploratory process on another thread.

    I know that I've had some unique experiences. Am I looking for a husband? No. Why? Because right in the middle of packing my bags for a date in Taiwan I met a man who I *think* might really be the one I can share my life with.

  3. #23
    For Your Entertainment lobeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Right here, right now
    Age
    50
    Posts
    14,903
    A question, Sunsiray...my partner currently makes less than me. Does that mean he's a gold digger?

  4. #24
    LG.
    LG. is offline
    FORT Writer LG.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    frozen tundra
    Posts
    14,060
    Originally posted by sunsiray
    Perhaps if I added some clarity that I observe *all* women might help. I don't know what the total population of the USA is, but my generalization was across the board. There are a lot more poor people in this country than there are rich ones. I'm not sure what the percentage is for the middle class. If you look at the *entire* population, there's a lot of marrying for the wrong reasons (the US divorce rate of 50%). My pet peeve wrong reason is, "I'm pregnant and you're the daddy." I think the figures for AFDC and child-support would support my arm-chair observation that there's something terribly wrong with a lot (not all) of my half of the population's mindset.
    Which half of the population are you referring to when you indicate that something is terribly wrong? Is it the "*all* women" that you observe? It's a pretty fair guess that you've never observed me nor most of the other women in this site. Julia Roberts is quite an unpopular actress with most of the women (and men, bless you Mdrio) on this site due largely to the BS which is Pretty Woman and similar such roles she has portrayed. Check out the comments in Survivor forum regarding contestants who list Julia Roberts as a favorite actress. Sweeping generalizations about "the middle class in the US" and "all women" are often unpopular not only in internet speak but also in face to face conversations as they fail to respect the individuality of the people from such groups. A better approach may be to state that your assertions of "many" or "often" so that readers can view themselves as the exceptions to your statements whereas your broad-based generalizations do not afford us that luxury. Also, I can't really conjure a reference to a "mindset" in a group that includes me that I'd like to be shackled with by a complete stranger, let alone a "terribly wrong mindset". Most of the regulars at this site like to watch reality tv shows like Joe Millionaire because we think they are funny and like to talk about them on the internet, not because we think they are a good way to meet a mate. That should be pretty apparent from the contents of our posts and official articles written for the site. If two professional people marry and the woman earns more money than the man, does that mean that the husband is a gold digger?
    Help fight cystic fibrosis or just learn more about it at the cystic fibrosis foundation website, www.cff.org and help give my little guy a better future.

  5. #25
    LG.
    LG. is offline
    FORT Writer LG.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    frozen tundra
    Posts
    14,060
    jinx Lobeck, we were asking the same question while both writing posts at the same time.

    We must be quite the catches to attract such golddiggers.
    Help fight cystic fibrosis or just learn more about it at the cystic fibrosis foundation website, www.cff.org and help give my little guy a better future.

  6. #26
    For Your Entertainment lobeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Right here, right now
    Age
    50
    Posts
    14,903
    Ain't that the truth, LG! *high five*

  7. #27
    For Your Entertainment lobeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Right here, right now
    Age
    50
    Posts
    14,903
    Sunsiray, re: the gifts...you mentioned somewhere else that most (if not all) of the gifts you received were given to you on the first date. Don't you think that might have given the man giving you the gift the wrong impression? I mean, maybe they (the men) thought that if you accepted something like a diamond or whatever on the first date, you could very well be a "sure thing", so of course they would ask you out again...?

    Also, willingly accepting something like a diamond on the first date doesn't exactly sound like self-sufficiency and independence to me. But, again, that's just MHO.

  8. #28
    sunsiray
    Guest
    Sweeping generalizations about "the middle class in the US" and "all women" are often unpopular not only in internet speak but also in face to face conversations as they fail to respect the individuality of the people from such groups.

    Demographically speaking, how many of the population have internet access or are internet savvy? I shudder to make a statement that "most" or "often" internet users are above average intelligence or are educated without getting it back in my face.

    As I said, I realize it's extremely difficult to convey exact thoughts via email & postings. And it's particularly difficult to make generalizations understood in the broadest sense because of all the different types of people lurking or posting.

    I love to laugh. That's why I'm watching Joe Millionaire.

  9. #29
    sunsiray
    Guest
    Originally posted by lobeck
    Sunsiray, re: the gifts...you mentioned somewhere else that most (if not all) of the gifts you received were given to you on the first date. Don't you think that might have given the man giving you the gift the wrong impression? I mean, maybe they (the men) thought that if you accepted something like a diamond or whatever on the first date, you could very well be a "sure thing", so of course they would ask you out again...?

    I realize that my experiences with wealthy men and CEOs are not commonplace. On those grounds alone and nothing else, it's difficult to explain how the upper-crust function. There's apparently no point in my trying to explain it to you, so I won't.

    Also, willingly accepting something like a diamond on the first date doesn't exactly sound like self-sufficiency and independence to me. But, again, that's just MHO.
    I think I've already answered that question for you. I respect you and your experiences.

    Perhaps if I added a different experience with a very wealthy man it might shed light? I don't know. On one date, it was very similar to Joe Millionaire's taking the ladies to the horse stable, vineyard, etc (except I knew in advance what the date was all about). It was for a yacht race. I did not know enough about crewing, so I volunteered to drive what I called the "chase car". After the yacht left port, I drove the car up the coast to pick up the crew when they stopped to spend the night on land. Lots of fun with all of the crews and me enjoying the scenery as I drove the car. Did I accept any gifts on that date? Nope. I accepted the date because it sounded like a lot of fun...and it was a TON of fun!

    Anyway, I really thought the idea on Joe Millionaire of taking the ladies on that type of date was really interesting because it *does* happen in real life.

  10. #30
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    right behind you
    Age
    47
    Posts
    15,258
    where are you living now? How do you meet know all these people. Your tales are getting wilder and wilder, therefore more fun to read
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 8 FirstFirst 12345678 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.