There Once Was A Girl Named Olinda ...

[Daddio]

There was a handsome young cowboy named Dave
Who while clean cut and well dressed often needed a shave
With a girl name Cat, he became entranced
Even though she was surgically enhanced
All because his true love for Linda he simply could not save

[Daddio]

David was a cowboy who always shot from the hip
‘til he was stalked by psycho with a giant hair lip
After severing his thumb
She chugged a bottle of rum
While David asked Paul “Do they have orders of protection in Eur-rip”?!?

[AJane]

There was a young cowboy called Dave
Whose job was to choose a European babe
There were some nasty Swede blondes
That didn't last long
Now will Linda return to save Dave?

[John]

Ol' Dave has some richness to feign
His horse came to Europe on a plane
With a pottery date
and catfights and hate
Olinda thinks there's something to gain

(okay, it sucks, like I said, I wish I was that talented)

[Stargazer]

There once was a golddigger from Sweden
she acted like a complete heathen
Between death threats to Cat,
and wine by the vat,
I've never seen someone act meaner.

Okay, my rhyming is a stretch but that was just practice

[AJane]

There once was a nasty blonde Swede
Who was almost too disgusting to believe
Dave thought her fun
But she'd only begun
To show what a psycho she could be.

OK, mine are getting progressively worse...no more, I promise

[Daddio]

Astride a steed did arrive a young Yank
Possessing ripped abs but no cash in the bank
For a Czech named Linda he did fall
While a silicone breasted Cat purred in the hall
And a booze maker’s son was put through college by Olinda the skank

[Kip]

Hilarious!! Thanks for the laughs.

[Daddio]

There is an Aussie Butler name Paul - no not "Jeeves"
After last season the world was his oyster or so he believes
Yet this season most of his lines have been cut
His bank account dwindles while the only thing that grows is his gut
And worst of all they made him wear a toga and fig leaves

[Bumpkin]

You all are doing great! I'm having a lot of fun checking this thread for new limericks!

And John, I'm impressed!