Welcome back, Jersey Shore fans! If you're anything like me, you long for the episodes showcasing Snooki's antics or all the dumb stuff that MVP get themselves caught up. Lately, all we've been seeing is the Sam and Ron show. Drama, drama, drama. Luckily, Sammi decided to leave last week after the big breakup. I'm sure this week will be full of Ronnie's tears and 'roid rages, but at least we can get that out of the way and move on to the crazy antics that made us all fall in love with this show.

The show begins with Ronnie crying around about Sam's departure. He claims he can't even look at himself in the mirror anymore. Oh no! Mirrors everywhere breathe a sigh of relief. The Situation finds Ronnie and tells him it's okay to cry and reassures Ronnie that everything will work out in the end. He keeps telling Ronnie this and that and Ronnie compares Mike's relationship advice to a sailor giving advice about flying.

Sammi arrives home, hugs her mom, and begins to tell her about Ronnie's craziness. Sammi's mom says it isn't meant to be if there isn't any happiness. Sammi feels mentally abused, and she cries some more. Ugh, let's move on past all of this and see Snooki pass out drunk on the beach and get arrested again! Now that was fun!

Ronnie asks Snooki, Jwoww, and Deena if Sammi said anything to them about anything. They don't think she is going to be coming back this summer and they all say they can't blame her for leaving. Ronnie realizes he f*$%ed things up, and he says he doesn't want to sleep upstairs anymore. The girls kind of stare at him in silence with nasty looks on their faces.

Later, for some reason, the girls decide it would be a fun idea to rub cake in Vinny's hair/face area. Deena “pretends” to tell him a secret while Snooki smashes cake in his eyes. They laugh and laugh like they just pulled the best prank ever. It doesn't take much to amuse those two meatballs.

Pauly D declares the start of a prank war. Snooki and Deena go and hide under their beds, while Vinny fills a water balloon. He then drops the water balloon on himself. That's skill. Pauly D thinks they should get Jenni's dog's poopy pads out of the garbage and put them under the girls' pillows. Gross. They put one of the poopy pads (in a bag) under Deena's pillow and laugh that she'll never find it. Meanwhile, she's hiding under the bed so she can hear the whole thing happening. They leave and she moves the bomb to Vinny's bed instead. Vinny and Pauly get into bed and Vinny notices that his pillow stinks. They laugh. Vinny goes into Snooki's room and steals her stuffed crocodile that she sleeps with every night. He hangs it from a string off of the roof deck. Snooki walks into her room and starts freaking out because she can't find Crocadilly. The guys tell her they have no idea where it is and she thinks maybe she misplaced it. She is running all over the house, and Mike directs her to where her Croc is hanging. Vinny is pissed that Mike ratted him out and says Mike ruined the prank. Vinny names Mike the “Snitchuation”.

The next day, Vinny has to do number 2, but it appears that Ronnie has clogged several of the toilets in the house. Gross. Vinny attempts to plunge one of them, saying he lives with farm animals. He has no idea what's in there. The regular plunger doesn't work, so he takes what appears to be a wire hanger and pokes it around down in the toilet. He goes back to the plunger, without success. As gross as this is, I'm amused. He finally admits defeat and announces they need to call a plumber.

At the T-shirt shop, the boss notices that Ronnie is a wreck. Snooki declares she has to poop, but Ronnie is in the bathroom crying. He misses working and coming home to Sammi. At the house, everyone is discussing Ronnie/Sammi. Mike says that Ronnie wants to go home. Pauly is worried that they will never have “single” Ronnie because because he's so depressed. Mike tells Jenni that the guys all have haircuts scheduled in the afternoon, so Jenni thinks she is going to have the girls clean up all of Sam's stuff so that Ronnie doesn't have to look at it anymore.

Ronnie, Snooki, and Deena arrive home from work and Ronnie immediately calls the flower shop to send roses to Sam and Sam's sister (it's her birthday). He schedules rose delivery to Sammi for 3 days in a row and adds chocolates and a teddy bear to his order.

The guys drag Ronnie out for a haircut and the girls get to work cleaning up Sammi's stuff. Mike gets his eyebrows waxed in addition to his haircut. In case you were wondering, he explains the classes of grenades: Grenade, Grenade Launcher, Submarine, Tank, A-Bomb. They try to take as long as possible at the barber shop because they know the girls are working on Sammi's stuff.

The boys arrive home and the girls play it cool. Ronnie goes upstairs and sees all of Sam's stuff is gone. The girls cleaned up everything except for one bag they forgot. Ronnie isn't sure if Sam came to get her stuff while he was gone or if the girls are messing with him. He asks the girls about Sam's stuff and they play dumb. I use the word “play” lightly. Jenni calls Sam, but gets quiet when Ronnie walks into the room. Ronnie is ticked that all of a sudden there is a “girl code” when the girls weren't even friends a few weeks ago. Sammi's sister Niki calls Ronnie to thank him for the birthday flowers. Sam gets on the phone and Ronnie goes silent. He musters a hello and a you're welcome then says he has to go. He goes up to his room to cry some more.

Pauly D finds some dirty undies in the bathroom while he's getting “fresh to death”, so he takes them into the living room and throws them on the big red bean bag. There is something gross on them because the censor blurred something out. Deena walks by and says they aren't hers. Jenni comes into the room and denies ownership, and they say they aren't Snooki's because there isn't any bronzer stained onto them. Jenni chalks it up to being undies from one of the skanks the guys bring home. They throw the undies away. This episode is crude and juvenile, but I'm loving it. This is the funny stuff that made me love the show to begin with.

It's T-shirt time, and while everyone is finishing up getting ready, Deena reveals that her stomach still hurts because she's constipated and hasn't pooped for awhile. They laugh that when she dances, it's all going to come out. She isn't amused.

Everyone heads out to the club, and Pauly D runs into an ex from home. They talk, but then Mike grabs her and starts grinding on her. Pauly is peeved about the violation of guy code. The girl walks away from Mike and tells Pauly that Mike was trying to take her home but she's not that kind of girl. Ronnie is out with his housemates, but he is just kind of awkwardly floating around. Snooki tells him that he said a lot of nasty stuff and Sammi deserves to go home and be with her family. He says he is going to get her back because he gets what he wants. Snooki thinks they shouldn't be together but Ron doesn't believe it.

Vinny trolls for women, and finally finds one that catches his eye. Snooki walks around looking for a hot gorilla juice head, but all she seems to be finding are grenades. She finds a guy she calls a Mario Brother, and grabs him to bring home. Deena stumbles all around on the walk home and cries that she wants to go home and that nobody at the house gets her. She says that people joke around with her all the time but sometimes it hurts her feelings. Ronnie tells her they all love her and she's like their little sister, that's why they joke around with her. Snooki hasn't had sex in 4 months, so she calls dibs on the Smush Room. Vinny recognizes the kid that Snooki brought home as the guy who came to the house with his uncle to take away the girl Vinny brought home a few episodes ago. Vinny, Ronnie, and Pauly bust into the Smush Room yelling that their niece has to leave and their niece has to go. The guy laughs. They pick up Snooki and carry her out. She squeals then runs back into the room and shuts the door. As the smushing begins, he asks Snooki to say his name, but of course she forgets.

Ronnie sits outside alone, so Deena goes out to comfort him. She admits that the girls put Sam's stuff in their room. He appreciates her honesty. He realizes now the only reason he was still at the house was because of Sam. Now he feels like he can't make himself better by staying. He thinks he might leave because he knows he will just destroy himself if he stays.

Next week, Snooki and Vinny get closer and Snooki hopes he is starting to have feelings for her. Also, Sam returns. Yay! By “Yay!”, I really mean “poke my eyes out now”. See you next week!