2/10 Jersey Shore Recap: Gorillas Gone Wild
If you are looking for a beach house full of clean summer fun and roommates getting along, read no further. But, if you are looking for some super trash-tastic, filthy, crude, drama-filled action, you are in the right place! Sammi and Ronnie are in the midst of a huge fight which led them to break up last week. It's going to continue this week, as the previews tipped us off to some more drama between the two former love birds.
The show begins with Ronnie telling Sammi that her behavior the previous night was uncalled for. She wants to tawwk to him but he's done tawwking. Poor Mike peeks up from his bed, obviously not wanting to be caught in the middle of another argument. He asks Sammi about Ron, but she doesn't know what's going on. He says that those two had so much drama in Miami that she's never going to get over it. Ronnie listens from the bathroom as Mike tells Sammi to move forward. Ronnie is pissed that Mike is playing both sides: the gorilla code and the woman code.
Ronnie fills Deena and Pauly D in about Mike's conversation with Sammi that he overheard. He wants to put Mike in his place for playing both sides. Pauly D takes Ronnie to the boardwalk to calm him down. I bet a tranquilizer dart would probably have the same effect. Deena takes Sammi out for some drinks. Ronnie and Pauly walk by the bar and Sammi thinks she sees Ronnie with a girl. In retaliation, she talks to a hot guy at the bar. I'm not sure what good that will do since Ronnie isn't there to see it, but whatever. Sammi isn't the smartest guidette on the boardwalk.
Back at the house, Sammi asks Ronnie again to “tawwk” to her, but Ronnie wants to let loose on The Situation first. Mike walks into the kitchen and Ronnie starts grunting and scratching like a caged animal. Mike is clearly annoyed and basically tells Ronnie he's blowing things out of proportion and acting like a tool. Ronnie whines that Mike doesn't have his back and he didn't have his back in Miami and what Mike did was wrong. If you didn't see that season, Mike confirmed the note about Ronnie's cheating. Guy Code this, Girl Code that, etc etc. Ronnie keeps flying off the handle with his roid rage, and Mike decides to take the “high road” and apologize. He says he was wrong and he is sorry. They hug it out, Mike cracks a joke, and Ronnie gets pissed again. Gorillas gone wild!
Elsewhere in the house, Jwoww is getting primped for her date with Roger. He's leaving for 10 days, so she calls dibs on having the “Smush Room” for the evening. They go to a Mexican restaurant to eat, but they can't really enjoy a quiet meal together because Roger's “boys” keep interrupting to say hi. Jenni is getting upset and says she's going to take him out of Seaside.
Sammi “tawwks” to Ronnie AGAIN about all the crap that happened in Miami. She really can't move past that, can she? I mean I imagine it would be tough, but she brings it up every five seconds. She can't believe he could sit there and lie to her face and watch her cry, etc etc. He says that he has enough f*#&$ng respect for her that he could admit what he did was wrong, but she's so dumb that she can't admit all the stuff she's put him through was wrong too. He yells that he had a reason for cheating on her in Miami. She says he embarrassed her and he doesn't deserve someone like her. He yells that the conversation is over. He takes his toys and goes away.
It's Tshiiiiiiiirt time!! The boys get ready to go out together, and the girls get ready to go out. Snooki and Deena want to take Sammi out to have a fun single girl time. Sammi asks Ronnie what he's going to do if a girl talks to him, and he said that he can do what he wants because they are broken up. They both scream at each other to go downstairs. Sammi cries and calls him a sick pervert. The boys are downstairs cleaning their shoes listening to all the yelling and swearing. Ronnie calls dibs on the Smush Room and calls Sammi a bitch. Sammi tells him she feels sorry for the bitch he brings home and tells him he will never get anyone like her. Well, I'm sure he hopes he doesn't get anyone like her. Clingy, insecure girls aren't exactly a turn on to a guy. He gets into her closet and starts throwing her stuff. She screams at him to stop and go live his life. The Situation, sensing a bad situation, tells Ronnie to go downstairs so they can leave. Ronnie and Sammi continue to scream at each other, so Mike goes for reinforcements. MVP come upstairs and witness Ronnie trying to drag Sammi's bed out of the room with Sammi clinging to it for dear life. He drags the bed halfway across the room and then he drops it and walk away. She calls him psycho, and runs after him. She tells him that she hates him more than anyone she's ever hated. He goes into the Smush Room and she goes after him. MVP are trying to keep the two separated. Ronnie announces that he's going to bring a girl home and F*#( the s*&% out of her. Nice. I think I saw something like that on the Discovery Channel one time. He claims he could have girls lined up to cook for him for a year and Sammi never cooked for him. He can't believe she wonders why he cheated on her. Blah blah. This is the same argument over and over, although this argument is certainly intense. Sammi walks away and the girl camp tries to calm her down while the guy camp tries to calm down Ronnie.
Ronnie goes back into their room and starts swearing up a storm to himself. He keeps babbling about how she put her hands on him so her stuff is getting thrown out on the porch. He takes her clothes and other things and throws them outside. He drags her mattress outside and says she can sleep on the porch. He walks past her, calls her a slut and a bitch, and leaves with the guys. Snooki tells Sammi if Ronnie can play that game, they can play it 10 times harder. They want to put her in something really hot, take her out and get her drunk, and dance their asses off. The guys love single Ronnie and they just want him to have a good time. They head out to Aztec, where Ronnie declares he is bringing two girls home to the Smush Room.
Back at the house, the girls are getting ready to go out. While Sammi is getting hot, Snooki and Deena decide to move Sammi's bed downstairs into their room. Deena screams about the meatballs taking care of Sammi. You know, I actually really like Deena. I didn't think I would, but I do. Snooki and Deena attempt to carry Sammi's bed downstairs, but it's too big to fit out of the bedroom door. Snooki equates it to Vinny's penis and her... you know. They decide to just bring the mattress downstairs instead.
The girls head to Aztec and Sammi has her sights set on finding a hot guy to dance with and make Ronnie jealous. She finds a guy to grind with while Ronnie watches from not too far away. I can seriously almost see steam coming out of that empty head of his. He looks super mad. I honestly almost expect him to take down the guy Sammi is dancing with. He can't control himself any longer, walks up to Sammi, and drops the ol' F bomb about her dancing with guys. He storms out and Mike follows. Ronnie is seeing red. He goes back to the house and proceeds to throw all over her stuff all over the place. He throws things and breaks things. He throws her bed outside and screams that if she's going to act like a dog she can sleep outside like a dog. He throws her hair dryer on the ground.
The girls arrive home and Sammi goes up to her room to get her stuff. She sees her stuff destroyed all over the place. She cries that Ronnie broke and ruined her stuff. Even her glasses are smashed. She walks outside and shows Ronnie her glasses. She says all of her stuff is ruined now, but he says she disrespected him so she deserved it. She pauses to burp, but says what he did was not okay. Such a lady. They yell at each other some more and Ronnie tells her that he was crushed when he saw her dancing with another guy. At least he had enough respect for her to cheat when she wasn't around. Oh yes, that is so respectful. Ronnie is so delusional. He tells her that she disgusts him, she showed her true colors, and he tells her never to talk to him again. He leaves the porch and she cries. Ugh, these guys exhaust me.
Downstairs, Jwoww and Roger have arrived home. She wants to give him something to think about while he is away. She sits him down on the couch while she goes and changes. She comes out wearing a leather cowgirlish type outfit. I'm not really sure how to explain it. It's basically a tiny bra with tiny undies and some chap-like things. Snooki says if Roger wasn't there, she'd totally have sex with Jenni. I do agree that Jwoww can certainly rock and adult themed costume like no other. They head to the Smush Room ASAP.
The next morning, the rest of the house discusses all the crap that went on between Sammi and Ronnie. Pauly and Mike heard Ronnie crying all night. Then, in a moment of clarity, Mike comments that Ronnie is all about the Guy Code but he is forgetting about regular Human Code. Tru dat, Situation. He thinks that Ronnie owes everyone an apology for the way he acted toward Sam. Pauly D thinks they both owe the house an apology. Deena and Snooks head out to eat and Snooki wants to find a hot guy to make out with. A guy buys them some shots, and they comment about how tight his shorts are. Snooki tells him she can see his wiener. He stands up, she points to his wiener and screams “wiener!!”. She says she can see the outline of it and it isn't even that big. Ah, Snooki. Always getting herself into an awkward situation.
Sammi calls an all girl meeting at the house and tells them that her relationship is done because it isn't healthy. She tells them she needs to get herself together, so she's going to go home. She needs to move on away from the house. She calls a cab and packs up a few things. She tells Vinny she's leaving and he is visibly upset. He says he doesn't want her to leave because he's afraid she won't come back. Sammi calls Pauly upstairs and tells him she's leaving. She finds Mike and tells him she's leaving. He asks if she's sure she's making the right decision and she says yes. Ronnie asks Sammi to talk to him as a friend without any fighting.
Ronnie asks Sammi to sit and talk to him and she says she can't sit next to him. He says they both embarrassed themselves last night, but she says she can't do it anymore. She needs to go home and get herself together. He asks if she's walking away from everything and she says yes. She cries and tells him she needs to go. He tells her that if she wants to go home, as much as it kills him he's going to let her go. He cries and hugs her. Sammi's cab arrives, everyone hugs her, and she leaves. Ronnie watches from the porch. He says he misses her, loves her, and he regrets all of the negative stuff he's done. Hmm... I actually feel bad for him. I think their relationship is absolutely toxic and they are both completely self-destructive, but the situation is sad for both of them. I'm sure it's not the last we've seen of them though.
Next week, Snooki brings home a guy who busted into the Jersey Shore house with his uncle previously. Ronnie comes home to find Sam's stuff all completely gone. The girls probably hid it so he doesn't torch it or something. Come on back next week, where we might actually have a Sammi/Ronnie fight free episode!
Re: 2/10 Jersey Shore Recap: Gorillas Gone Wild
Major props for recapping this. It was a hard episode to watch, that's for sure!