1/27 Jersey Shore Recap: The Grenade Whistle Sounds
When we last saw the Jersey Shore crew, Snooki was coming off of a bender that led to her arrest and quick release, Sammi and Ronnie were fighting like usual, Jwoww and Tom broke up, and Deena was screeching like a cat about something. When Jwoww and Snooki went to Jwoww's house to get the dogs, they discovered that Tom had taken some of Jenni's things. *cue tears and dramatic music*
This week's show begins with Jenni still reeling over the breakup with Tom. Snooki's friend Ryder is in town, and shows up at the house before Snooki is back from her trip. Vinny has hooked up with Ryder before, but Snooki gave him explicit instructions not to have sex with her. Jenni and Snooki decide to change the locks on the house in Long Island before heading back to Jersey. That's an adventure in itself, because those two couldn't find their way out of a paper bag. Meanwhile, Deena decides to take Ryder out to the boardwalk for a little happy hour fun for Ryder's 22nd birthday. They drink Margaritas, ride some rides, drink some more, dance down the boardwalk, and head back to the house to drink some more.
Jenni and Snooki, home repair queens, finally figure out how to put the new door knob on. They pack up the dogs and head back to Jersey. Pauly D wants to call the dogs Snooki and Ryder, because one is feisty like Snooki. Snooki and Ryder hug, but then it's time to get ready to go out. Yes, that's right, it's TSHIRT TIIIIIIIIIIIME. The gang heads out to Karma, where Mike proceeds to lift his shirt much to the delight of the ladies. Sammi sees Ronnie talking to a girl and of course she gets instantly pissed. It ends up being his friend's girlfriend slash baby mama. Sammi acts all bitchy and pouty and Ronnie wants to know if she wants him to ask the girl to show her C section scar. Gross.
Vinny meets an Italian girl named Gina. Unfortunately, she also has an entourage of protective men around her. One of them instantly informs Vinny if he takes Gina home, he won't get laid. Vinny meets Gina's uncle also. Despite all of her meathead protection, she goes home with Vinny. Jenni brings Roger home, Mike and Pauly bring home 2 random girls, and Snooki has Ryder. They wolf down some pizza while Ryder shoots a whipped cream can directly into Snooki's mouth.
Upstairs, Sammi and Ronnie get into a fight, again. She is drunk, obnoxious, and whiny. She tells him that he has never loved her and he hates her and whine whine blah blah. She says she is going to go home and he tells her to get the f*&^ out. Sammi goes downstairs to get some pizza. Meanwhile, Ronnie goes into full out roid rage and throws Sammi's stuff all over their bedroom. Poor Mike, their roommate, just kind of stands and watches everything happen. Sammi comes back upstairs telling Mike so proudly that she brought him some pizza. Pizza? How dare she! Ronnie is appalled that she would try to give him pizza instead of bringing him a protein shake or something worthwhile. She doesn't even notice her clothes and belongings are throw all around the room until Ronnie points it out to her. The Situation tells Sammi she just got kicked out of her own room, and he walks downstairs. Ronnie is laughing like a crazy man, and he tells Sammi that her fu*#(%)# tears mean fu$&@)! nothing to him.
Outside on the patio/loungey area, everyone else is hanging out with their potential smushing partners for the evening. Vinny is with Gina, Jenni has Roger, Mike has his girl from the bar, and it turns out Pauly D wants nothing to do with the other girl they brought home. Grenade alert! Mike offers to get his girl something comfortable to wear like some sweatpants, and the other girl asks why she is being left out. Vinny announces that he has to sound the horn, and Pauly D says only if he gets the grenade out. The horn they speak of kind of looks like a beer bong apparatus, but it makes a whale call kind of noise. The horn is affectionately referred to as the grenade whistle or grenade horn. It warns all of Seaside's inhabitants that there is a grenade present at the house. Man, I feel bad for that girl when she watches this episode on TV. The grenade finds Mike and her friend and says that she needs some comfy clothes, too. Her friend tells her to go find Pauly D but she says he is outside. The grenade whistle sounds, and everyone laughs. Mike goes outside and tells Pauly that his “girl” is going through Pauly's clothes. Pauly is relieved that he is skilled in the art of dodging grenades.
While all of this excitement is going on, some guys show up at the house. We find out they are part of Gina's mantourage. One is her uncle. He is there to retrieve his beautiful niece. The guys whisk her away. Vinny thinks she is pretty, but knowing about all the guys she has to protect her is a real turn off, so he doesn't think he'll call her.
The grenade situation is about to be diffused, thanks to Pauly's stealth dodging skills. He leaves, and the grenade is upset that he left. Mike pretends like he cares and tells the girl to stick around and that everyone can have fun together. She isn't buying it, so she leaves and says she will be back the next morning to get her friend. Grenade crisis averted.
Ronnie has made his way to the couch, and he is very upset over the whole situation with Sammi. So much for not giving a f&*$. He is crying, and Jenni tries to comfort him. Jenni has on the craziest shirt ever. I use the word “shirt” loosely because it's more of a halter top/tube top combination. It looks like someone shot a bird and glued it to her boobs. Jenni tells him that she will be there for him and she went through the same stuff with Tom. He wants to be happy with Sammi because he loves her. Jenni tells him he is a great guy and he's been staying with Sammi out of guilt and he needs to do what he needs to do to be happy. She says “at the end of the day” about 100 times. I hate that phrase. She says that she and Snooki told Sammi the truth back in Miami because they wanted her to leave. Jenni says again that Ronnie is a good guy and he needs to go back to being himself and not be stuck in a relationship where he isn't happy. He cries some more. Awww, I kind of feel bad for the tool. His tears flow like sweet Ron Ron juice before a night out.
Mike goes up to his bedroom where Sammi is sleeping and asks if she has any condoms. She says she doesn't but Ronnie might have one. She asks Mike where Ronnie is and he says Ronnie is talking to Jenni. Sammi sees fire, jumps out of bed, and heads off to find Ronnie. She finds him outside and asks what he's doing. He says talking. Sammi asks if he is friends with Jenni and he puts his head down like a poor puppy dog. She keeps hounding him about whether or not he's friend with Jenni. Meanwhile, VPDJ come out with Ryder's birthday cake. Sammi is still squawking and Ronnie tells her that he is worn out. She gets in his face and asks 100 more times if he is friends with Jenni because if he is, she is done. He tells her to stop and she tells him to talk to her, but he says he is done talking. She says she is going home and asks one more time if he's friend with Jenni. He nods his head yes and Sammi decks him. She clocked him right in the chin. The Situation is watching the whole thing from above and even he is taken aback. Wow, Sammi is a crazy bitch. Mike comes out and hugs Ron.
Sammi goes inside, crying, and calls her mom to come get her. I'm imagining it's probably a good 4am by now, so I'm sure her mom appreciates the call. Just kidding. She tells her mom to come get her now and she hangs up. She goes upstairs to pack and Vinny follows her and tells her that she needs to stay and calm down. Snooki and Pauly D join the party and Pauly tells her she still has friends in the house. Sammi cries that she can't be friends with Jenni and she can't believe Ronnie wants to be friends with her. Vinny says they are going to tie her down to the bed to make her stay. Mike thinks she is making a mistake. She says she is still going to leave.
Later, Mike is holding one of the dogs when Jenni comes out to the kitchen to retrieve her. She says she needs to put the dogs together to keep them both from barking. She wants to “get it in” tonight. Deena questions if Jenni is trying to “do sex” and Jenni shushes her. Deena then asks if she can sleep with the dog tonight and Jenni says no. Deena's not real quick. Jenni originally thought Roger was going to be a rebound but she is really developing feelings for him.
It's almost 7am, which means it's time for Sammi to be getting on her way. She finds Ronnie and apologizes for punching him in the face. She says she is hurt that Ronnie is friends with Jenni after everything. She says this is her final goodbye to him. He gets up and walks away, not saying a word. Mike finds him, and he's crying again. He says he doesn't know what to do and whether or not he should let her go. Sammi finds him and they both cry. She says she is sorry and asks if he will go inside with her to talk. They go up to their room and she asks if she can hug him goodbye. He nods and they lay in bed together. She apologizes again and asks if he wants her to go. She says she's given him plenty of chances to make things better and he has, and then asks if he can give her a chance to make things better. He grunts, burps, farts, and scratches. Actually, he nods yes. So, it looks like Sammi is going to stay. Oh and apparently Mike was in the room throughout this whole conversation because he tells them if they want him to go downstairs so they can have make up sex, just let him know. How considerate.
Sammi calls her mom to tell her that she is going to stay. Wasn't her mom on the way to get her? Is she just turning around or what? She tells her mom she punched Ronnie and her mom claims Sammi can't go any lower. She tells her to do fun things and be happy.
Ryder leaves, and it's time for Sunday dinner. Mike is thankful that everyone is sitting down to eat together and he's happy that Sammi decided to stay. It's date night for Deena/Ronnie look alike and Jenni/Roger. They double date for dinner and boardwalk. Vinny and Snooki go to a place called The Love Shack. Snooki buys a stripper pole for the house. They take it out of the box and attempt to set it up. It isn't tall enough for the living room, so they decide to put it in the opening between the kitchen and living room area. Vinny practices on it and determines that it works. They have to screw it to the ground because right now it's just kind of wedged there. Ronnie tests it out and so does Pauly. Vinny says it isn't sturdy so fat girls won't be able to go on it. What a shame, I was looking forward to hearing the grenade whistle.
The next day, the guys go to the barber shop for haircuts. Pauly asks if when Dean (Ronnie look alike) comes in, he asks for the same haircut as Ronnie. The barber says yes. In fact, the last time Dean was in, he said that Deena likes *series of bleeps*. They all laugh. What are the bleeps!? I want to know! None of the guys can even say it in their confessional scenes. Mike doesn't want to share a drink or a cigarette or anything that has to do with Deena's lips in the future. Hmm. At the gym, Mike tells Deena he heard a story about her at the barber shop. Deena says she hasn't hooked up with anyone except Dean. She doesn't know what Mike is talking about. He tells her, and she is absolutely disgusted and says that isn't true. We can decipher from mouth movements while words are being bleeped out that Dean said Deena is a fan of licking his tush. Deena says her mouth and teeth are too precious to go down “that way”. She is pissed and is going to go home and call Dean. Everyone kind of laughs but Deena thinks it's disgusting.
They all head out to Karma (shocking), and Deena runs into Dean. She tells him to get away because she doesn't want him around and he's annoying. She says because of him, she's getting tormented at the house. She can't believe he said what he said, and he says that after she finds out he didn't really say that, don't bother calling him. Follow that? All of the juicehead/meatball drama is hard to follow sometimes, I know.
Ronnie and Sammi are sitting off by themselves and Jenni decides to be the bigger person and go up to them to see if they need drinks. Sammi says she wants a drink and tells Jenni she'll go up to the bar with her to see what they have. They are standing at the bar together and Sammi tells Jenni she knows Jenni was just looking out for her. Jenni thanks her for realizing that and tells Sammi if she ever needs anything, Jenni will be there. She wants them to have a good summer. Sammi says she's been through a lot and Jenni comments “at the end of the day” she was only trying to be there for Sammi. They are both done with being mean. They apologize and hug it out. I bet this lasts about 2 episodes. Ronnie will look at another girl, Sammi will somehow blame it on Jenni, and then they will all fight again I'm sure.
Next week, the girls go back to the Love Shack for some lingerie shopping. Sammi and Ronnie get into a fight (well, I called 2 episodes but I guess it's just 1), and someone falls off of the stripper pole. Snooki finds out the guy she likes was previously engaged and Ronnie goes to the doctor for a little probing. You know, all in a typical day at the shore!
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