Welcome back everyone. Sorry I am so late this week, itís been a crazy week for me and I do not even have to select which of three losers I want to spend the rest of my lifeÖor a courtesy amount of time after the show airs. This week, New York visits one of my favorite places as a child, The Parrot Jungle in Miami, Florida. I canít wait to see if she lets the birds stand on her head and the hilarity that will follow when one of those birds rips that nest off her head. So letís all fasten our weave on and get ready to watch this wild experience.
Three Times the Fun in Miami
The men are getting ready for their trip to Miami and Punk and Tailor Made are trying to figure out why Buddha is still there. They think he is trying to become famous. I personally think he got on the wrong reality show if thatís the case. Everyone jumps in the limo and head off to the airport.
When they arrive in Miami, Buddha, is excited because this where he is from, he thinks it gives him a home court advantage. Tailor Made hopes they get manicures. While they are waiting for their rooms, Buddha starts flirting with the hotel hostess. They finally get in their room and are told they will all be having dinner with New York. When they arrive at the restaurant Punk and Tailor Made try to get seats next to New York and Tailor Made knocks her over. I donít know if itís because she is top heavy or drunk.
As they are sitting around for dinner a woman shows up with drinks and Buddha comments on her tan. Punk calls him out on it and then he tells New York about his flirting with the hostess earlier. She yells at Buddha and he takes it and makes it better by kissing her, prompting my gag reflex. They are pretty much about to get it on at the table making it uncomfortable to me and I imagine that Punk and Tailor Made are even feeling more awkward. After dinner, New York requests that Buddha escort her back to her hotel.
Punk and Tailor Made are sitting at the table stunned they were abandoned. They receive a note saying that New York has invited a special guest to spend some time with them, Sister Patterson. She joins them at the table and they all bash on Buddha, she wants him out of the group. Meanwhile, Buddha has stripped down to a tank top he always wears and they heading back to the hotel and they get in a fight. Shocking right? They still head up to her room were Iím sure they will have sex because frankly, these are some skanky people. Silly me, they get in a huge fight over trust and no sex is had.
Buddha goes back to the room and decides to mess with Tailor Made and Punk, he walks in with his shirt off. He implies that he had sex and Iím sure the men would be shocked that he struck out. The men are disgusted with him and his remarks. Punk is so made that Buddha has just disrespected the woman he loves. Too bad she doesnít love him.
Itís a Jungle Out There
The group is off to a mystery destination and they arrive at the Parrot Jungle. OK, when my grandparents lived in Miami, my grandma would take me here all the time. I loved the place, the parrots would stand on your arms, head, all over. New York freaks out about this. New York pulls Tailor Made aside for a little alone time. They talk about Buddha and how heís not right for New York. Good, all there alone time is spent talking about Buddha. As they are talking, a Parrot Jungle employee puts a towel on her arm and she is told a 6í5Ē bird is going to come out and visit them. The bird is very dangerous and New York is freaked.
Itís Punkís time for a little one on one time. A Parrot Jungle employee brings out a huge python. New York freaks out and runs away. The snake gets taken away and Punk starts to trash talk Buddha. Buddha seems to have a little time on everyoneís date. They head back to the group and his alone time seems to be wasted. Buddha and New York are supposed to have alone time but New York doesnít want time with him because of his attitude. They walk back to the limo and Buddha gets completely dissed by New York.
When they get back to the hotel New York pulls Punk aside for a little alone time date of lunch at the pool. She then tells Tailor Made they will have dinner and later, later they will all meet up at the club. They meet around the pool and New York needs to find out if she has attraction for him like she thinks. I just donít see the two of them together at this point. Punk tells New York that he is in love with her but she doesnít feel the spark necessarily. A waiter shows up with whip cream and they go to town, as do I with a nail to my eyes. Please dear god, they need a warning for this show.
Down in the lobby, New York is waiting for Tailor Made and sadly, we can see her underwear. He shows up with a dress for her and I hope it has a longer hemline than the one she is currently sporting. They have a fancy dinner on the roof and he tells her this is how it will be WHEN they are together. New York is just eating it up, she loves his romance and they way he makes her feel special. They make out and I want to run to the bathroom and just die. He picks her up and carries her to some mystery bed and good god, now Iím really going to be violently ill! Just as they are getting ready to get it on some lady shows up and tells New York her mom is downstairs waiting.
Getting Freaky at the Club
New York arrives down at the club and Punk, Buddha, and Mama New York are hanging out. Punk calls out Buddha on his acting career. Mama New York and New York are shocked that he is an actor, I guess they missed all the other times it was discussed. She is all up on Punk and Tailor Made and she gets in a fight with Buddha and he storms out. The other ďmenĒ tell her not to go after him. She didnít chase him and he waits outside for herÖand she never comes.
After the little night at the club, New York sits down with her mother to discuss the men. She tells her mom that she loves all the men and she needs her mom to tell her one good thing about all the men. She wants her to drop Buddha but Iím sure that we can all assume thatís not going to happen.
Time for the Most Dramatic Chain Ceremony Yet!
New York comes out to the pool dressed like a street walker and for once I donít think she looks like a tranny. The first person she calls up is a man and someone who has been in her heart since day one, Tailor Made. New York tells Punk that everything about him is right and reads off some list that she made about him that is right. She tells Buddha he is sexy as well, he dominates her and keeps her in check. She also wrote things about him as well and she doesnít trust him and he thinks he plays games. Punk is sent packing and for once I realize that he kind of looks like a Treasure Troll. I think itís the spiky hair. Buddha secures the final chain and Iím not shocked in the least.
If you were shocked by the showís ending, send me a PM.