Last week we said goodbye to Wolf and his huge package. Apparently, being allegedly well endowed was not enough for New York- she actually got rid of him because he wasn’t smart enough for her!
Why would anyone agree to do this?
Tonight we’re down to only six men, and New York likes them all for different reasons. She knows that she needs to narrow down her selection, and tonight she’s brought in some very special guests to help her make her decision. She gathers the guys all together to drop the bomb that she’s brought the guys’ exes in for a little interrogation. Her therapist told her that you can tell a lot about where a man is going from where he’s been. The Entertainer seems to believe this too and is very nervous that his ex will be in the house.
New York introduces the exes, and some non exes: Punk’s ex is Chrystal, Buddha’s ex is crazy and couldn’t be there, so his sister Thais came instead. The Entertainer’s ex is named Megan, and New York has some unkind things to say to her about her size and how she must like to eat in her spare time. Kia is Mr. Wise’s ex, and Pretty’s sister Lashonda is there in lieu of a girlfriend, because the producers weren’t able to locate an ex-girlfriend, I guess. Finally we have Tailor Made’s wife, Nancy. Tailor Made is feeling nervous and a little out of place, because he’s married, but New York just thinks that Nancy seems like a regular woman, and not even as pretty as Wesley Snipes in drag when he filmed To Wong Foo.
New York has made some not so nice comments to the camera about the sisters and exes, and Mama New York is only too happy to join in. She thinks that New York would be an upgrade from any of the women. While Mama is putting the women down, Mr. Wise is having an uncomfortable conversation with Kia. She is sad and jealous and thinks there might be drama in the house while she’s there. I think that it’s pretty safe to assume there will be drama in the house any time New York is there. She asks Mr. Wise is New York has seen him in all his full glory yet, because once she does… it’s all over for him. Zing!
New York announces that she is going to call each of the pairs in separately to speak to her. Tailor Made and Nancy are first, and New York takes Nancy to her suite, and then sends Tailor Made off to be interviewed by a mystery guest. Or rather, two mystery guests. Two mystery thuggish guests. Have you guessed yet? Yep- it’s Chance and his brother Real from I Love New York 1. In case you missed that gem, Chance was one of the final two last season, and was beaten out by Tango, who then dumped New York on the reunion show, making this second season necessary. Anyway, Chance and Real are going to be interrogating the guys, to make sure their stories match the ladies’. They’ve even set up an interrogation room, complete with the bright light. Hmmm… if I had to guess, I would say that Real will be nice cop and Chance will be crazy, psychotic cop.
Tailor Made is very nervous before he even sees the guests, and when Chance and Real walk in the room, I’m afraid he’s going to wet himself. The guys ask him questions about why he is in the house if he is still married, don’t give him a chance to answer, yell at him to maintain eye contact, and then bicker with each other. Upstairs, New York gets Nancy to tell her that she and Tailor Made got married nine months into their relationship, and that although Tailor Made likes to move a little fast, he is genuinely there for New York. Back in the interrogation room, Tailor Made is convinced that Real and Chance are going to tell New York that they hate him.
Next up is The Entertainer and his ex Megan. The Stallionaires (I guess they’re still using that name as it’s on their t-shirts) start in on him immediately and ask him why he is called The Entertainer. He swears that he is not a stripper, and tells them that he works for UPS. He tells the guys that he is there for New York, and then yells that he loves her. New York’s conversation with Megan goes well, and by “well,” I mean that she learned that The Entertainer lives at home with his parents and has a really bad temper.
Punk’s ex-girlfriend Chrystal tells New York that she and Punk dated for four months, and broke up because they didn’t love each other. And because Punk left her. New York thinks that Chrystal does not have closure from the breakup and is hopeful,… er, afraid that Chrystal is going to cry as they’re talking. Down in the interrogation room, things aren’t going very well. Punk knows that Chance and Real are trying to test him, and he passes tests all day long. Punk tells Chance that Mama New York selected him to come in the show, but hated Chance. Then things really escalate quickly, and Chance kicks his chair over and Punk pushes over the table! The bodyguard/ bouncer guy has to step in to separate the two, but Punk has some more things to say. He tells Chance that he is going to his ass, and then Real’s ass too, since he’s just sitting there doing nothing. Chance backs down, so unfortunately, there is no ass kicking to be seen.
Mr. Wise and Kia are called next, and Kia tells New York that she met Mr. Wise at work, and they dated for four years, on and off. Kia thinks Mr. Wise still loves her, and says they speak on the phone all the time, and got together right before he left to come on the show. New York does not take this news well, and is angry that Mr. Wise is living in her house and eating her food, while he is still speaking to his ex. Over in the Stallionaires’ pasture, Mr. Wise tells the guys that he and Kia dated for three years, and that he thinks she still has feelings for him. He still talks to her, and wants to be friends, but he doesn’t think Kia understands the difference between love and friends, and I think Mr. Wise may be blurring that line as well.
I have a hard time believing that Buddha’s ex could possibly be crazier than New York and her mom, but she is not there, so New York has to be content to question Buddha’s sister, Thais. Thais tells New York that Buddha has a temper and fights sometimes. Buddha tells Chance and Real that his last relationship ended because his ex was a stalker and he had to take out a restraining order against her. Buddha explains that he got kicked off the show for fighting, but was brought back. Then, after one of the guys asks him, he says that he has never “Mike Tysoned” a woman. Um, good!
Finally, it’s time for Pretty and his sister Lashonda to answer some questions. Right off the bat, New York asks Lashonda if her brother is gay. She says no. Then she has to say that she does not know when her bro lost his virginity, and she has never walked in on him having fun with a partner or solo. She’s not happy to be asked these questions, and I just can’t believe that New York is saying this stuff in front of her mother! To round out her interview, Lashonda admits that she has never met any of Pretty’s girlfriends. On the flip side, Pretty tells Chance and Real that he isn’t gay, the longest relationship he had with a woman lasted two years, he doesn’t remember when he lost his virginity, and that he is really close with his mom and his sister, and they have met all of his girlfriends. Hmmm… Pretty must be referring to a different sister.
I’ve always felt sorry for Real.
The interviews are done, and New York lines the guys and their exes up once again. She explains that she is having dinner with Chance and Real to get the dirt on everyone, and that there will be a party later on that night for all of the guys, their exes, New York, Sister Pat, Chance and Real. Well, that sounds like all sorts of fun! The only thing I would love more than attending a party with an ex-boyfriend would be attending a party with my ex that is thrown by New York and her mom.
New York is happy to hang out with Chance and Real. She tells us that Real used to give her pedicures and Chance used to give her everything else. Ew. New York tells Chance that she’s missed him, and will always have a place in her heart for him. Then they grope and kind of make out in the limo. While Real is sitting right there. New York is concerned because she just can’t control herself around Chance- she wants to please him and be pleased by him. I’m selfish because I don’t want either one of them to be pleased… at least not while I’m watching and recapping.
The threesome heads to Joseph’s for some grub, and Real tells New York to think with both her heart and her brain. I don’t think she’s been using either one, so I hope she takes his advice to heart.
When it’s time to get to it and discuss the guys in the house, New York decides to start with Punk, and Chance can’t remember who that is. He figures it out after Real reminds him of the altercation, and immediately tells New York to get rid of him. New York says Chrystal said that Punk is very honest and loyal, and Real admits Punk is real and there for New York. Chance and Real don’t approve of Tailor Made because he is married, but New York explains that the divorce will be final soon, and she likes TM and plans to keep him around. The Entertainer lives at home, Buddha has a temper and a little fighting problem, Mr. Wise has feelings for his ex, and Pretty must have something to hide because he lied during his interrogation.
I wonder what he’s hiding…
Back at the house, Pretty calls his sister and can tell right away that something is wrong. She says that New York pushed the wrong buttons and asked some very personal and inappropriate questions. Pretty gets pissed when he hears the questions because he thinks that these are not normal questions a sister would be able to answer about her bro. Or should be able to answer. His sister came on the show out of love for him, he did not want her involved in the show in any way, and he’s very upset that she was disrespected. Punk hears Pretty out as he rants about this, but then tells us that something doesn’t seem right and Pretty must have something to hide.
It’s awkward party time!
New York and the Stallionaires return from dinner, and it’s time to party with the guys and the exes. Oh, and New York’s mom, who is not too pleased to see Chance there. Her third eye has told her that Chance had his hands all over New York during dinner, and I hope her third eye didn’t show it to her too, because that would be kind of strange. Mama spreads this notion around to all of the other guys, and Buddha gets mad because Chance was disrespecting everyone by groping the woman they are all in the house to win.
Buddha and Punk decide that they must confront Chance, Chance tries to tell them “It ain’t like that,” and New York steps in to separate the guys. Chance waits until New York is standing between him and Punk and Buddha, and decides to pitch a fit and throw his glass in anger. Tailor Made scurries away because he does not want his face damaged, Chance goes a little nutso and storms out, and then Buddha gets angry at New York and asks her why she had to bring Chance into the house when she’s got all of these decent real men to choose from.
New York tries to salvage the party. She talks to Tailor Made and tells him that she’s happy all his answers matched up with his wife’s. Then she talks to Mr. Wise and tells him that his ex said their relationship ended a year ago, while he said it ended three years ago. Then she decides to confront Pretty about his lies during the interrogation. She tells him that she thinks he has something to hide, and she needs to get to the bottom of it. He replies that he doesn’t “give a f***.” New York tells him he doesn’t have to give a f***, and he throws his glass at the wall, and stalks off. This angers New York who goes after him, yelling, and Pretty tells her to “Get your weave fixed!” And that’s the end of Pretty.
Can’t you just send another one home? Please?
Tonight’s Elimination Ceremony is very somber. Buddha and The Entertainer think that New York still has feelings for Chance, and all of the guys are afraid that New York is going to bring him back into the competition.
New York starts the ceremony by asking if anyone has anything to say. Punk asks if she is still in love with Chance, and New York pauses, and then answers that if she was still in love with Chance, none of them would be there. She apologizes to the guys, and tells them her intention with the exes and the interrogation was to get to know the guys better, but unfortunately they guys got to know her. She tells them that she’s sorry if any of them felt unwanted, and she certainly did not intend for that to happen.
She asks the guys if they have any responses, and Tailor Made tells her something I did not pay attention to, but assume has to do with money and being there for her. The Entertainer tells her that he forgives her now and always, and he’s there for her. Mr. Wise is also there for her. Buddha though, doesn’t really feel like being there for her. When she asks him if he has anything he’d like to say to her, he responds by asking if there’s anything she would like to say to him. New York is taken aback because she already apologized, but Buddha doesn’t care. He continues to grill her and push her about her feelings for Chance, and frankly he’s being an ass. Mama New York steps in and says that if anyone does not feel New York’s sincerity in her apology and declaration that she does not have feelings for Chance, he can leave.
New York tells the men that she is a strong woman, but can’t have a man who is willing to run out on her and leave her. Pretty couldn’t handle her, so he left. Because of this, no one else is going home, and everyone gets to drink!
Tune in next week to see who is certifiable as the guys play with ink blots and find out why Tailor Made needs a penis implant!