Welcome back everyone. I am so happy to be back after a long summer of Big Brother. I can finally get back into one of my favorite shows. New York is back and so is her troop of degenerates. Last week, each man received an odd name, some were eliminated, and some of the men were very attractive making me question my own sanity. This week we might have a fight, Mama New York will probably get mad at her daughter, and hopefully some man will end up in tears when he gets dissed by New York. So letís all settle in with a bottle of Courvoisier and get ready to watch the skankiest show on TV.
Swimming with the Fishes to Deliver a Gift to the Bitches
Its challenge time to kick the show off and the men have to present a gift to New York. They are meeting her at the beach and Midget Mac is not very excited because he canít swim. Unsure and Cheezy are hanging out and Unsure shows Cheezy his gift for New York, itís a jacket that he purchased for another woman and she did not like it. I am sure New York will never find that out and absolutely love it. Does anyone get the feeling that Unsure is like Mr Romance round II?
The men are off to the beach and they see New York lying out under an umbrella across the lake. The men need to get over there with their gift and present it to New York. The three men with the best gift and game win a date with New York. I canít believe people actually lower their standards and participate in these kinds of shenanigans, especially for a woman that looks like a tranny.
Yours, presents her with a portrait that is hideous. New York is mad because the woman looks plus size and not like her at all. She throws it in the lake and I applaud her. It, Mr Special Ed, gets in a raft and starts heading across the lake. He made her a shirt with his handprints right on her breasts. This is every girls dreamÖor nightmare. He then makes comments about her milk storages and my mouth just drops to the floor. Midget Mac makes his attempt to cross the lake and needs to be rescued. Iím a bitch and just completely laugh over the whole ordeal. Iím still laughing in case you were wondering. Buddha jumps in to save him and helps him get across the lake. He gives her a custom made robe with her name on it.
Unsure presents his jacket and she loves it, itís kind of big but sheís happy that itís Dolce and Gabbana. Cheezy tells the guys that the jacket was for another woman. The crap is going to hit the fan. One guy gets a shirt for her dog, another a turtle statue, and someone other crap. She is not shy to tell them what she thinks of their gifts. Buddha gives her a bear but New York is distracted by his hot body, and it totally is. The rest of the gifts are presented and itís time to announce the winners, Buddha and Tailor Made. The solo date goes to Midget Mac. This makes me really happy.
Dating a Little Thug
They head out and New York likes him because she feels like she has the upper hand. Midget Mac likes her and her personality, proving that he has little taste. During the course of their meal they both discover they love Ranch dressing, she feels this is a sign. This might be a sign if ranch was an unpopular dressing. Who doesnít like ranch? Actually I donít like it so finding a guy who loves balsamic vinaigrette would be a sign.
New York and Midget Mac return from their date but New York canít kiss him because she feels like it would be kissing a toddler. She admits she has issues she needs to get over. Back in the house all the men are up and ready to hang out except for Yours. He is resting comfortably in his bed which makes New York really upset. The rest of the men pull New York aside to talk about Unsure and his gift that he gave her. They tell her that it was meant for another girl who didnít accept it. She confronts Unsure about the issue. He tells her the jacket was for his sister. She tells him his sister must be big because it was too large for her.
While all the men are off and drinking, Tailor Made goes off to order 3 dozen roses to be delivered for New York. He says this is the way he always courts woman. I still find him pathetic.
New York arrives to pick up Buddha and Tailor Made. They all head off to the go-cart track. The one that is the fastest gets alone time with New York, I donít know if thatís the reward or punishment. New York, trying to be all cute, acts as the checker flag girl. She still looks like a man to me. The men are off in their carts and Tailor Made seems to think he has the advantage on this because he has done this before. Tailor Made skids into the wall and Buddha wins the challenge. I hope the date involves him having his shirt off.
Meanwhile, back at the house, It answers the door for the flower delivery. There is no card on the flowers and he figures he will just pass the flowers off as his own. Does this idiot man really think this plan will work? Obviously or he wouldnít be trying it.
After the race, New York sits down with Buddha and Tailor Made for lunch. She asks them about their past relationships. Buddha tells her about the last woman he dated and how he had to take a restraining order out on her. New York loves this fact. New York moves onto Tailor Made and tells her about his daughter and that he is just coming out of a divorce. She is pissed and canít believe that he is still married. She is regretting that she ever gave him a necklace and sends him off to the bleachers to be alone.
They all head back to the house and New York and Buddha definitely had a connection. In the house, It presents New York with the roses. Tailor Made confronts him about where he got them from. It tries to play it off like they are from him. New York of course loves them and canít believe that he actually did this. I guess she will love it when she finds out he didnít do it. He then pulls her down into some weird kiss/face licking. It was super hideous and New York pulls away from him. The rest of the men confront him about the flowers and where he got them from. He tries to make up stories and he once again proves that he is very ďspecial.Ē
Bring on the Drama
Unsure meets up with New York and tells her that he wants to leave. He wants to go back to Miami and hang out with people who tell the truth and donít stab each other in the back. Itís not really a very heartfelt speech and New York laughs at his face and tells him she will send him home. I donít really think it was the response he was looking for but I think itís awesome.
Next, Tailor Made meets up with New York and wants her to talk with his ex wife so she can understand what is going on in their relationship. Now if I was the ex, there is no way in hell I would talk to this crazy woman. Nancy the ex is a good sport and tells New York what is going on. Tailor Made is on the side looking like he is about to cry. It would make my day if he did.
Someoneís Gettin Cut
Itís the elimination ceremony and all the men are gathered waiting to see if they have love for New York. New York is giving her speech to all the men when she notices Unsure, she yells at him and wonders why he is still there. She runs up and grabs the jacket and throws it at him and throws him out of the house. That was freakin awesome.
The first chain goes to Buddha, then to Midget Mac, followed by The Entertainer, Man Man, Punk, Cheezy, Mr. Wise, Wolf, It, and Tailor Made. Yours starts to freak out that he is being eliminated. He starts ranting and walking around in disbelief of his elimination. Mama New York is pissed that all her men are being eliminated. Knock Out and Yours are asked to leave because of their lack of love for New York.
Tune in next Monday to see the men present New York with ideas to help her build an empire. The Entertainer gets a bit freaky with New York and the rest of the men want to kill him. It looks like a drama filled episode.
I am off to eat a caramel apple. If you like caramel apples send me a PM.