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Last week New York inflicted her presence on women from the guys’ real lives, and sent 12 Pack packing. Tonight there are only four men left. By the end of the show we’ll be down to three, or two if my wish comes true. Actually, if my wish comes true, Flava Flav will sweep in, possibly impregnate New York and maybe a few other women, and the show will be over.
New York is not a good driver.
Chamo makes a flamboyant appearance and delivers golf shoes and a note from New York. She tells them the best way to get to know someone is to travel with them. Tango and Real are instructed to dress up in the golf clothes for a romantic afternoon out with New York. And each other. Tango’s excited about the prospect of an afternoon with Real so that he can systematically tear him apart in front of New York. Real is excited to have some air time.
In the limo on the way to meet New York, Real reveals that she has an interesting affect on him. He tells us he’s always stiff, and he’s not talking about his back. Oh, ick. When they get to the club to meet New York, Real runs up and greets her with a kiss, and Tango gets nothing. New York is extremely pleased with her cleavage enhancing top, and so I’m sure she appreciates Real’s stiffness.
New York announces that they’re all going golfing, and jumps into the driver’s seat of the golf cart. She then stalls the golf cart out a few times, goes into a ditch and then through the sprinklers. I think someone needs to go back to Driver’s Ed.
The golfing goes well, I guess. I’m not really a golfer so I can’t judge. There is a lot of trash talking, double entendres, dirty talk and making out, and I do know a little bit about all of those things. Especially after watching this show all season.
Real has a personality?
New York sends the guys back to a seriously fly pad and tells them to get all spiffed up for dinner with her. Tango and Real know it’s crunch time, and they really have to dress to impress. Tango puts on khaki trousers, a black shirt, blazer and hat, and Real wears a white shirt and jeans, and leaves his down and flowing.
New York grills the guys at dinner, and asks them what they are looking for. Real wants a true and honest woman to grow old with. He never freaking plans on getting divorced, and his words make New York swoon. Tango tells her he’s looking for some sort of completion and then gets called out for ogling New York’s chest.
Tango doesn’t seem to be doing well with his smooth words and demeanor, and I think New York is much more into Real’s humor and thug-like behavior. And, I’d like to note that it looks like they’re all eating chicken nuggets. Knowing he’s losing the fight, Tango whispers to New York that he loves her, but then can’t say it out loud. Real and I laugh,
New York doesn’t believe that Tango is truly in love with her, and decides to take Real back to her room for nightcap… and then makes out with Tango at the table for a while. She really knows how to let a guy down easy.
I must avert my eyes.
Back in New York’s room, the table is filled with nuts, whipped cream, strawberries and champagne. I might have to fast forward- I don’t think I can handle watching what these two are going to do with all that stuff. Real is ready for an evening of bliss, and New York is ready to see what Real has to offer.
The champagne flows freely, which might explain why at one point New York starts to cry (how romantic) about how she doesn’t want to get hurt. I can understand that, really I can, but maybe looking for love on a trashy TV show is not the best way to go for someone really scared of having her heart broken.
Real then starts trash talking Flava Flav, who deserves it, I guess, and New York continues to cry. Luckily, we’re spared any food-related activities, and New York sends Real back to his room for the night.
I have never seen two men so excited about a lighter.
Day two in Palm Springs and New York brings out Whiteboy and Chance for their romantic date. They’re starting out with a hot air balloon ride, and Chance is less than excited about it. Whiteboy doesn’t like it either, but fakes it for New York. They all get in the balloon, and New York is very nervous about her synthetic hair catching on fire. Chance mostly cowers on the floor, but finally gets up some courage and looks over the side, which is more than I would do in one of those things. Then it appears that the balloon gets caught in some wires and almost tips over, and that makes up my mind that I am never going near a hot air balloon.
The guys go back to their room and are super excited to see smoking jackets and gold lighters with their names on them. Simple pleasures, I guess. There’s a note from New York promising them more New York lovin’ over dinner.
Someone’s a little drunk… and by someone I mean New York, Chance and Whiteboy.
The guys dress up in their finery, and both of them look good and seem to understand what it means to dress up- Chance is even wearing a tie and his shirt is tucked in! Each man comments that he considers the other a friend, but not tonight.
The dinner entertainment is a violinist, and New York asks who is going to dance with her first. Whiteboy steps up to the challenge, and Chance ridicules and swears at him. I guess he really meant it about not being friends tonight. Whiteboy uses the private time to ask New York if there’s anything she wants to ask him, and then Chance cuts in and proceeds to grope New York for a few minutes. Whiteboy cuts in, and then the two actually begin tugging her arms in two different directions.
New York tells the guys she just wants to chill and get to know them, and Whiteboy comments that it’s pretty hard when Chance won’t play fair. Chance does a lot of swearing, and threatens to fight Whiteboy back in their room, until finally New York tells him to “shut the f*** up.” Finally! I have been waiting all season to hear her say that to him! He replies that she should “shut the f*** up,” but sadly, none of them shut the f*** up.
New York asks Whiteboy to come back to her room with her, and Chance goes back to his room to cry quietly. A new spread of whipped cream and other erotic foods fill the table in New York’s room, and the two use them as they’re intended. New York announces that she’s so horny she just wants to take Whiteboy to her bed and use him, but since he’s a mystery, she needs to find out a little more about him first. She asks Whiteboy when his last relationship ended, and when he reveals it ended two months ago, she sends him back to his room, and Chance, who I assume is waiting to kick his ass. Or cry on his shoulder.
Chance is an idiot. That is all.
Elimination day, and all four guys are back at the mansion. Tango hopes that Chance and Real had horrible dates with New York, and Real wants to make sure no one else had as good a time as he did. When he made New York cry.
New York dishes about her dates to her mom, and Sister Pat wastes no time in confronting Chance for telling her daughter to shut up and grabbing cigarettes from her. Chance denies it, because it’s not like there’s footage to back it up or anything, and tells Mama that he doesn’t remember any of it. As usual, Mama New York declares that she is going to make sure Chance is sent home, and as usual, I don’t believe her.
At the Elimination Ceremony, the four men stand nervously in front of New York as she tells him that the one going home is wonderful, but she just isn’t feeling it with him. Then she tells them that she’s sure this guy knows who he is, and asks him to please step down. Real immediately tells Tango to step down, Tango refuses, and Tango tells Real to step down. Whiteboy doesn’t say anything, and for some reason Chance steps down. New York tells Chance she’s not talking to him, then she turns on the waterworks, and sends Whiteboy away. I am completely shocked that they don’t make out for a while before he goes.
Dang- only one eliminated tonight! Tune in next week to see if the final three are mamas’ boys, and to see if New York can keep her top on.
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Originally Posted by SueEllenMishke;2280736; 
I haven't watched one minute of this, but thanks to you, SEM, I don't have to. 
Excellent job. 
