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We’re finally down to six classy dudes, and is it just me or does it seem like this show has been on forever? Maybe it just seems like forever. Anyway, Down to six, and the competition is really getting heated. Some of the guys are starting to play dirty, but Mr. Boston doesn’t mind, because he thinks the other guys see him as a threat and are underestimating him. Okay, whatever gets you through the day, Mr. B.
It’s good to teach children to speak out about their feelings. Sometimes.
Chamo greets the boys with a special note from New York announcing there will be a party today with some of New York’s special girlfriends. She expects the guys to give her girls the royal treatment, and the guys are excited, envisioning D List actresses and female rappers. Mr. Boston threatens to bring out his lap dance again, and wonders if Lil’ Kim will be at the party.
New York comes down the stairs in a pink gown and tiara and opens the door to let in her guests… a slew of shrieking, tiara wearing little girls. 13 of them. New York tells the guys the Princess Party she’s planned for the day will show her who will be the best dad. The winner will get a date with her, and the losers will have to prepare dinner for Sister Patterson. Uh, oh boys- better get your parenting books out.
Chance is not real pleased with this task and calls the girls “Oompa Loompas.” He raises his voice at the girls to try to get some control and stop the shrieking, and one little girl, (let’s call her Lil’ Sassy) holds up her hand and tells him not to raise his voice at them. Then she chases him around the yard with cupcakes, tea, a knife of some sort, and anything else she can get her hands on.
12 Pack offers to let the girls put makeup on him, because he thinks they will make him look beautiful and then go back to New York and swoon about how handsome he is. Obviously 12 Pack has never allowed little girls to make him over before, because they’re really not interested in making him look pretty. They smear makeup all over his face so that he looks like a beast, and then run away from him screaming because he looks scary. Or maybe they just smell the alcohol fumes seeping through his skin.
Mr. Boston lets the girls dress him up in a princess dress, and then push his face into the cake. He doesn’t mind and lets the kids do whatever they want as long as they promise to vote for him. I’m sure Mr. Boston will make a fine senatorial candidate someday.
Tango loves kids and tells us this is the most fun he’s had in the house. He seems sincere, and the girls really like him. They don’t like Whiteboy, and somehow he ends up with cupcakes smeared all over his glasses. Chance and Lil’ Sassy continue to spar and trade insults (and Chance can’t even best an 8 year old!), and finally the party is over and New York returns from her shopping trip to get the dirt from the princesses.
If you put on a dress, little girls will love you.
New York sits down with the girls to hear their opinions on the guys. She wants to know who will make the best daddy, and the excited little girls are very happy to tell her what they think.
12 Pack gets boos from the girls and they say he’s ugly, (oooh- he’s going to cry when he sees that footage!). Real also gets booed because the girls don’t even remember him being at the party. Whiteboy gets booed, and one of the girls makes a comment about his diminished mental capacity. When New York flashes Chance’s picture, Lil’ Sassy stands up and yells “He ain’t a real man, honey!” which makes me think that it might be time to limit Lil’ Sassy’s daytime TV viewing. And maybe nighttime too, if she’s allowed to watch shows like I Love New York. Tango gets cheers from the girls because he helped one of them find her bag, and Mr. Boston gets mega-cheers from the girls because he let them do whatever they wanted to him.
The girls liked Mr. Boston and Tango the most, and New York declares Mr. Boston the winner since he went above and beyond to make the princesses happy. Mr. Boston is very geeked, because not only is this his first one-on-one date with New York, but it’s his first date with a black woman. I’m glad this show is allowing Mr. Boston to expand his horizons.
New York is a better actress than I thought.
Mr. Boston showers off the cake and who knows what else, puts on a suit and waits at the bottom of the stairs for New York. He is pleased with how beautiful and boobaliscious she looks, and the two are whisked off for their romantic date.
In the limo, Mr. Boston lays on the sweet talk, and New York eats it up. I pray that they won’t make out, because I don’t think I can handle that right now. I just ate.
The two move on to a romantic carriage ride and Mr. Boston cuddles New York while she’s tries to unobtrusively pull away. They pull up to their destination, a very romantic dinner set up outside with a harpist playing softly behind them. Mr. Boston ogles New York’s cleavage, but she doesn’t mind because although Mr. Boston is nerdy, he is also her Prince Charming, and she is nowhere near being sick of him. That’s good, I guess.
Mama New York loves her some fine food!
Back at the mansion, Mama New York is going to see if our guys know their way around the kitchen. She assigns them all dishes of a five course menu, and gives them an hour to create a gourmet meal. They must also set a proper table, and provide good dinner conversation.
The table looks great, so Mama New York can’t complain about that, but the food… well, the food’s not so good. Tango tells us he’s usually a good cook, but doesn’t cook seafood, and I guess didn’t do a very good job with the lobster, because Mama spits it out into her napkin. The rice is gooey, the soup is horrible and the cake is atrocious. The only good dish on the table is Real’s salad, so way to go Real! Mama tells the guys they tried hard, but she’s disappointed in their efforts.
The conversation moves on to that day’s princess party, and Chance calls the girls “monster children,” which makes Mama declare that Chance is not father material. Well, guess what Mama New York? Chance is a father! He has a little boy! Take that!
Chance starts to freak out and rant about how he has a son, and how he should be with his son right now, and why is he even in this house, and blah, blah, blah. He yells a lot of stuff, and most of it is bleeped out, but the gist is that Chance is leaving the house and the competition. Mama New York is thrilled, and tells him he’s free to go, but asks him not to break any of the furniture on the way out, and then laughs in a very cruel way.
While Chance storms around yelling, Tango tells Mama New York that if he had a child, he would be at home taking care of that child, instead of on TV trying to get a piece of Flava Flav rejected ass.
Ewwwww…
Meanwhile, back on the date with Mr. Boston and New York, New York tells us that she’s really feelin’ Mr. Boston. Oh please don’t show any footage of New York feelin’ Mr. Boston. Please. Instead, they show footage of New York making out with Mr. Boston, and once again I am amazed (and grossed out), by their passionless kissing.
For Mr. Boston, this is the point where the date goes from magic to excellent, and he’s pleased that the date is going further that he expected. I think we may be in for a baseball analogy here. He and New York get back to the mansion, where New York tells him to hurry into his swimsuit and the Jacuzzi so that they can be alone, and … bom chicka bow-wow!
Poor Mr. Boston
On their way upstairs, New York and Mr. Boston run into Chance packing his bags. New York asks what’s up, and Chance tells her he’s leaving because he has a son, and he feels he needs to be with his son. New York tells him that she doesn’t have a problem with the fact that he has a kid, and then gets upset and screechy because Chance must be leaving the house because he’s not feelin’ her. Chance swears it has nothing to do with New York, but she doesn’t believe him, and breaks into histrionics and runs into her bedroom.
Next, Chance hears about the conversation Tango had with Mama New York, and he gets even angrier than he was before. He tells us that if he had an Uzi, he would shoot holes in Tango’s ass, and I guess Tango is lucky there’s not a PX store nearby.
As pissed as Chance is at Tango, Mr. Boston is even more pissed at Chance for the “c*** blocking.” I’m sorry to say this Mr. Boston, but I don’t think Chance really blocked anything, because I highly doubt you were going to get the prize.
It’s the cream of the fight!
Surprise, surprise! The next day we learn that Chance is staying in the mansion, and all the guys learn that they’re going to a gym to blow off some steam. They all find shorts with their names on them, and know that they’re going to be doing some boxing. Most of them hope they’re going to be doing some boxing on each other. The guys put on their outfits, and everyone looks normal except 12 Pack who thinks they’re going to a stripping/ boxing gym and has dressed for the occasion in a black muscle shirt and satin red bow tie.
The guys drive to LA Boxing where they work out on the equipment, and then jump into the ring to work out some of their aggression on each other. New York is excited because the guys are fighting over her, and Chamo is excited because he got to wear his purple satin shorts, and pink shortie robe.
Up first is Real versus Whiteboy, then 12 Pack versus Tango, and finally Mr. Boston versus Chance. Mr. Boston is not worried, because he has the eye of the tiger in his mind, (sorry- I don’t know how much Survivor can help you right now, Mr. B), and is a little surprised when Chance knocks him down immediately. The match doesn’t get much better for Mr. Boston from there, and ends with Chance flipping Mr. Boston over the ropes and bloodying his nose pretty badly.
Sex would not have helped.
Back at the house, Chance checks on Mr. Boston, and tells him he hoped he learned a lesson. I’m sure he learned a lesson about not fighting a horribly mismatched opponent, but I’m not sure that’s what Chance was talking about.
While the guys nurse their injuries, New York and Mama New York meet for their weekly elimination dish. Mama thinks Real is sincere, Chance is about to explode at any moment, and New York is unhappy that he didn’t tell her about his son. Whiteboy is a sad, sad creature, Tango is totally in love with New York, 12 Pack is Mama’s least favorite guy, and Mr. Boston took a hardcore beating for New York today.
This Elimination Ceremony is a sad one for New York, because at this point, she’s really feelin’ all of the guys, and she’s let them feel her too. Six guys stand in front of her, but she only has five chains and they go to: 12 Pack, Real, Whiteboy and Tango, which leaves Chance and Mr. Boston to fight it out over the last chain.
For some reason, Mr. Boston keeps picking his nose, which is sometimes necessary, but should be avoided at all costs when you’re on camera. New York tells Chance that he needs to be honest with her from now on, and rewards him with the last chain. Goodbye, Mr. Boston- you’ll have to take your lap dances elsewhere.
It’s not all bad for Mr. Boston though, because New York calls him up to the front, tells the guys he is the best kisser there, and proceeds to make out with him for a few last uncomfortable moments. In his confessional, Mr. Boston tells us that he would not have been sent home if he and New York had slept together, and once again I am horrified.
Tune in next week to see the guys’ ex-girlfriends brought in to tell some tales!
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Originally Posted by SueEllenMishke;2250554; 
One of the many reasons why I can't both watch this show and eat at the same time. Great recap!
