I Hate My Job Episode 6 (12/15): Rub A Dub Dub Two Men In A Tub
Once upon a time long, long ago, Spike aired Episode 6 of I Hate My Job. This recap would have been up much earlier if only I hadn’t been abducted by aliens, my dog hadn’t eaten my notes, and/or we hadn’t had that big snowstorm. Not buying it? Okay, okay. Look on the bright side. Given the long hiatus between episodes, this recap might actually remind you where we left off when the show resumes on January 5.
This Prize Is Prizeless
Following a review of the last episode, this installment opens with a glimpse of Art’s penalty and the other guys’ prizes. Al tells us that “At the end of the day, you can’t go for outside appearances. It doesn’t matter. If it doesn’t work, it’s useless.” I flash to The Apprentice and look for exploding heads and/or The Donald’s Hair. Art finishes his punishment of designing ten logos for The Chop Shop. In the end, Jerry chooses a simple iron cross for the door and is quite pleased with Art’s work. Josh turns out to be too smart to invite his drunken male friends who accosted him while he was acting as a doorman to join him for his VIP night prize. Instead, he spends the night on the town with three beautiful women. He tries to convince us that the only reason this reward was better than the Maxim party is because he has been missing his friends. I think it might have something to do with the difference in gender of his company.
Frank’s reward turns out to be a night at a Vanity Fair fashion show and party. Frank has a blast rubbing shoulders with bigwigs and sitting courtside at the fashion show. Jim seems to enjoy his reward a whole lot less than the others. Jim’s reward is to spend 45 minutes with Emmy Award winning writer K.P. Anderson. K.P. gives Jim constructive criticism and insightful advice about how to make his material better. Jim reacts by telling us that he had to spend 45 minutes listening to K.P. basically tearing down his material. Jim says that K.P. told him, it’s not funny or original and you have no punch lines. Jim finishes his mini-rant by saying, “Hey, good to meet you, now I have to go do my [bleep] material on stage.” K.P. then weighs in, stating that if you push yourself down a road where your goal is to shock or knock someone back and make them go wow, you pay a price for that eventually. You don’t take that journey into yourself as to who you are. You’re just busy telling people what pisses you off.
The Grim Reaper
The guys line up in the backyard across from a stone-faced Al and a completely silent Stephanie. The Rev tells the guys that they have now created some distance from their old lives and that each of them has done well. However, each still lacks some crucial parts that will lead to success. The Rev then hands out this week’s challenges. Jim’s is to do three “bringer” shows in two nights. He has to bring a minimum of 15 people to each show. Josh’s challenge is to promote a night at the world famous Whiskey-A-Go-Go. Josh tells us he has to get at least 25 people to attend. The actual challenge card which we get a glimpse of, says 25 “appropriate” people. I guess the Rev was worried Josh would be rounding up the homeless. Frank reads his card next. Frank is to model in a professional photo session promoting the 310 Motoring Clothing Line. Art learns what his challenge is last. Art has to perform a complete base gasket replacement on Jerry’s bike in an allotted amount of time. He will be judged on the quality of the job and his ability to complete the job within the allotted time. Blessedly, Al finishes the session with the guys without a single attempt at a rhyme, telling them that some of you may be going home and he will be seeing them in the Judgment Room.
Barry makes an appearance at the house to meet with Jim. When Jim explains his challenge to Barry, Barry winces and says a simple “ouch” which speaks volumes. After the meeting, Barry tells us that one thing Jim needs to work on is his material. I wonder if it will ever get through Jim’s head that his current material isn’t good enough for long term success. Barry also reiterates that Jim needs to just keep getting up on stage. Jim then tells us that he knows they are trying to show him that being a stand-up comic isn’t an easy career. He is seeing first hand just how difficult it is.
Frank decides to use some downtime to hop on the treadmill he won as a prize previously. As he tells us, “I gotta stay sexy, man.” Women across America (or at least the 20 who watch The Network for Men) don’t disagree. Josh, on the other hand, sees the downtime as an opportunity to goof off. As Art explains, “the lady who cleaned the hot tub cleaned it with some soap or something.” When Art and Josh turned on the hot tub, it started overflowing with bubbles. Art and Josh end up looking like two little boys in a bubble bath except for the pitcher of margaritas they decide to drink. Josh, in his usual mature fashion, is shown chugging margaritas in the hot tub directly from the blender. Jim is meanwhile on the phone, frantically trying to line up the 45 people necessary to successfully complete his challenge.
Success Is As Success Does
Al voices over that “You have to actually see yourself as what it is you will try to become.” Frank then tells us that he’s changed his personal appearance, his clothing, his facial look, and his attitude and that he sees himself as the world’s next big supermodel. The line between being self assured and delusional is so thin. Frank arrives at 310 Motoring where he is greeted by Tomiko. Tomiko introduces Frank to Montana the photographer, Bobby the designer, and Rick the brand director. Frank is excited that if this works out, it could lead to a National campaign. Bobby quizzes Frank regarding his knowledge of 310 Motoring. Frank passes with flying colors although he and I both learn that “bling” is out and “lux” is in. Bobby tells Frank that 310 is trying to incorporate into their line of footwear and clothing the style of their cars and that Frank will be representing the lifestyle of 310.
Josh arrives at the Whiskey A Go Go where he meets up with Josh R. and Trish Mylar who runs the club. Trish plays up the past of the Whiskey. Josh then dutifully asks how he gets paid. He learns from Trish that if he meets his goal of at least 25, he’ll receive $3 for each flyer presented at the front door and $3 for everyone who he places on a guest list that shows up. Josh tells us he feels pressure to go above and beyond and that his personal goal is to get 50-100 people to show up. He doesn’t want to be a grasshopper. Instead, he wants to be the frickin’ giant stepping on grasshoppers. Alrighty then Josh.
The Rev tells us that he is mindful that Art during the last challenge had a nice looking package that didn’t work. Now, really, what am I supposed to do with a line like that? The possibilities are endless. Unfortunately, none of them are PG-13. Al wants Art to go back to basics to see if he can make something work. Jerry explains the challenge to Art. He has to turn an 88 inch cubic motor into a 95 inch motor. I have no clue what this means. Wes Lormer, Jerry’s head mechanic, will supervise Art. Just as Art is about to start, Jerry tells him he has five hours to complete the task.
Frank learns that there is a little bit of a twist to his photo shoot. Montana gleefully tells him that he hopes Frank isn’t afraid of heights. Frank tells us that he’s not very good with heights, but he’s ready for anything to get his dream job. As he’s getting ready for the shoot, he’s told to remove his wedding ring. It doesn’t fit the playah image of the brand. Frank sweetly says that he felt a little lost without it and asks his wife not to be upset because he’s only doing it for the money. We then see Frank dangling in the air ala Tinkerbell. Frank is realizing that models have to do some out of the ordinary things.
Meanwhile, Art is hard at work on the engine. He explains that the parts to finish the retrofit are “dirty.” Get your minds out of the gutter. This means that they have come directly from the engineering shop and haven’t really been cleaned yet. Art cleans the parts while stating the obvious with Wes, arms crossed, in the background. Art knows that if he screws up even one part he’s done. The Joshes are walking down the sidewalk. Josh R. is once again in what my grandmother would have called “an interesting outfit.” It includes Lakers shorts, a white t-shirt, a purple bandana on his head, and his magic 8 ball cane. Josh R. encourages Josh and reminds him that the best thing a promoter has going for him is when people go somewhere just because he says so. He then tells him “Let’s kill this one, man.” This is one of those times a comma is important. Josh tells us his plan is to hand out all the flyers and hit the phone again. Wow! Now that is genius. We then see Josh on Hollywood Boulevard experiencing the joy that is handing out flyers. There is a reason I still take them whenever offered one.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who is the Funniest of Them All
Jim is practicing his material in front of a mirror. He tells us that he’d like to be growing and expanding his material but that he thinks what he has already is funny. He has a lot of ideas just bouncing around on the computer that he’d like to work out but he just hasn’t had time. Barry then provides a cameo. Barry says that, “I haven’t sat down and said Jim your material sucks or this is wrong because I want to take a positive approach and then at the end, we’ll sit down and edit the stuff that isn’t working.” Me thinks Jim has no idea what Barry really thinks. Jim is comfortable with the material he has performed before. Barry says that he needs to be in a circumstance to perform that doesn’t disturb him mentally or physically. Jim then does his very best Stuart Smalley impression, telling us that “deep down I know I’m funny. I know I’m intelligent.” Jim thinks both things are a prerequisite to being a standup comic. Jim confidently states that he is going to be comfortable in the silence so to speak.
Art knows that he can’t screw up, or he’ll have to go home. Jerry doesn’t answer him when he asks how long it usually takes to perform his task. Art then continues the double entendre telling us this is the first time he’s had his hands around a piston and that without a doubt it’s exciting. Wes stops him at one point admonishing Art to never use metal tools on aluminum. I swear to God that Wes then said, “It’s bad mechanic practice. Never touch any of the soft parts with hard metal.”
We flash to an increasingly panicked Josh. He is worried because he hasn’t had a lot of time and people have other plans. Josh has given away about 90 flyers and continues to make phone calls. He admits that he doesn’t know if he’s going to get his 25 guests. He thinks it will be close and wonders if he’s going to succeed. Josh stares blankly at the camera.
Jim thinks that the stage time he’s had has been valuable. He feels like he’s getting better but wishes that he’d had more time to develop material. Jim thinks the numbers will be there for his shows but he tells us you never know. Jim’s first bringer show is at Ives’ Coffee Bar on Wilshire in Santa Monica. When he arrives, he throws a little hissy fit. Apparently, he thinks the coffee bar is beneath him and hopes no one shows up to watch. Barry tells us that Jim needs to find open mikes everywhere including sometimes at laundromats. Jim’s attitude changes when the Rev appears for his show. Jim admits that he wishes the Rev hadn’t chosen to appear at this show. Jim does his normal material despite the potential to offend Al. Al continues to maintain his poker face, occasionally clapping politely. Jim feels good about how his performance in front of Al went.
Art has one hour left. He tells us that there are four rings and a separator, and you have to put them on in the right order. He continues saying that that’s pretty delicate work. Wes advises Art to always start with the smallest despite what the directions say. It’s always safer that way. Art is smart enough to listen and take Wes’s advice to heart.
Josh is still feeling uneasy about his task. He calls Josh R. to report on his progress. He’s given out pretty much all of his flyers and he’s bewildered. Josh has made calls, but he’s not getting answers. Josh R. tells him to keep calling. Josh needs to go to the Whiskey and make the last flyers really count. Josh is ready to grovel and tell people he’ll buy them drinks if they show.
The Jersey Show
Art reminds us that if he fails he goes home. Wes is impressed by Art’s ability to read the manual. Wes lets us know that Art made no mistakes of note and completed his task well within the time limit. Jersey Josh has reached full panic mode. He’s having no luck reaching his friends. Josh R. gives him some sage advice telling him to add “and party" to all of the names on his list. Art is pleased with the results of his project, throwing in a random, “Shazaam.” Jersey Josh is convinced he’s screwed. He can’t reach many of his friends and is not at all sure he’ll be able to get 25 people to attend. Josh R. tells him to approach the cute girls in line without tickets and add their names to his list. Jersey follows through and works the line hard.
Frank’s second shoot for 310 involves a hot female model. After initially feeling uncomfortable, Frank decides to picture himself at home with his wife during the photo shoot. Stephanie questions Frank about how he feels and he admits that the sexuality part of the shoot was not easy for him. Montana is pleased with Frank and feels like he’s picked it up a little bit. Montana gleefully tells us that he has a surprise for Frank’s third shoot.
Jim is pleased that his friends showed up early for his second show. However, he feels like he doesn’t have much time to prepare because he has to play host. Jimmy and Joey Sorice proceed Jim on stage and introduce him. Jim feels confident after completing his set in front of friends. He tells us that not only his friends but also complete strangers came up to him to tell him what a great job he did.
Josh nervously tells us that he might be making his challenge by one. He knows it is going down to the wire. Al shows up and observes. Josh feels good about the fact that Al sees him hustling patrons around the corner. Josh also really appreciates Josh R.’s advice.
As the photo shoot progresses, Frank feels more and more relaxed. Frank poses with shoes draped over his shoulder. Then he opens a basket containing snakes. He’s a little put off but he manages to hide that and pose with the snakes. Jim is on his way to his third venue, the Lava Lounge. Jim is worried because it is 9:30 Sunday night and he’s not sure all his guests will show up. After he finishes his performance, Jim meets up with Stephanie in the parking lot. Stephanie is a little put off by Jim’s attempt at flirting. Barry is impressed by the laughs Jim got on stage. Both Jerry and Tomiko are impressed with the performance of their protégés although Jerry thinks Art needs to think further outside of the box.
The Bottom Line
Al tells the guys that each of them has made tremendous progress. If they have performed well, each will receive a prize. If not, a penalty will be their fate. Jim and Barry go first. Barry is enthusiastic about Jim’s performance. Stephanie and Al call Jim on his flirting. Josh is next. Stephanie says that the bottom line is that Josh got the numbers and in fact exceeded his goal. Al tortures Josh about the hot tub with Art. Art goes third. Jerry tells Al that Art succeeded in his task in less than the allotted time. The Rev again busts Art about hot tubbing with Josh. Frank is lavished with praise by Tomiko and Stephanie. Not surprisingly, all four guys receive prizes. Jim gets to meet with Lee Horowitz. Frank gets a photo shoot with the studios of Matthew Mitchell. Art gets a $750 credit at the Harley Store. Finally, Josh gets to be Josh R’s right hand man at his Monday metal show. Al decides to bust him once more telling him he needs to wash out his tub first. The Rev sternly lectures the guys telling them that this is not a vacation.
On the Next All New Delayed Episode
Al ominously tells the guys that if any of them fail all get a penalty. That sucks for Josh and Art who are one penalty from going home. Josh has a tough time. Frank cries upon being reunited with his family. Jim and his punch lines take a beating.
Want to share any bubble bath stories? email@example.com