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Thread: Alissa - The Dreamer's Story

  1. #11
    FORT Fogey Krispy's Avatar
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    WOW! I went to watch the show tonight and coulodn't find it - thought for sure it must have been delayed by some weird crisis or something so I went on the net to find out what was going on.....

    Great to find this thread and thanks so much Alyssa for posting the inside scoop. Now that Joey must be a good actor - he sure fooled me into thinking he was perfect for you. I thought I must have missed an episode because I could not figure out why all of a sudden you decided you didn't care for him.

  2. #12
    Ad Astra Per Aspera homeontherange's Avatar
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    Best wishes, Alissa, to you and your new honey!!

  3. #13
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    Joey states "I need people to be real too!"

    Hi Everyone!

    I turned 34 today! but I kind of feel like I'm a freshman in High School. Why you ask? Well its because I feel like I am about to pass you a note in home-room class while the teacher isn't looking. Ready.. here it is..

    So... how did I wind up here? An audition?

    I was sitting in my office one afternoon when I was contacted by "Joni" who was one of the producers. Her call was simply to let me know that they were looking for a certain type guy and I was referred to them and fit the profile. I figured what the hell, what could happen? I find Mrs. right? Maybe a couple old friends see me on TV and reach out to me? What could be bad? And thus blind-fold night occurred one night later! Great fun, cool gal, different then the usual gals I date – so far so good.

    Then dinner @ Millennium. We had an awesome time, she rocked, we laughed, talked politics, Shakespeare, religion, “Yankees-Sox”, her old career in the wine business, her family, my family, our pregnant sisters, the current state of access to affordable health care for factory workers in Vietnam “the normal stuff that two intellectual adults might discuss on a first date” - and of course none of that made it into the show. Which Alissa now refers to as the “Isn’t Joey Funny Show.” Then valentines day, that was so fun, we were both so exhausted because we didn’t start until 11 but we had a good time.

    Church was awesome; I was raised Jewish, Sabbath Observant & Kosher so that was all new to me & enlightening. The talk afterwards went well..

    Oh Alissa's friends are Amazing people! We did not get to spend much time together but I have to say that her 2 east coast gals were warm kind & very welcoming & have amazing energy. Too bad you didn’t get to see much of them. She also had 2 guys friends there. One guy had a very kind demeanor, real humble guy. The other guy was named Emmet which means "Truth in Hebrew" Cool huh? I liked him a lot, he has some exciting life goals and lots of spirit. If you’re out there I’m rooting for you buddy, go make it happen! Sad to think that I will never see those guys again.

    So anyway, whats the worst thing that could happen if I went on the show? I have nothing to lose right? WRONG! So far Alissa has accused me of dating her in order to self promote and be on TV, she has attacked my new girlfriend and divulged private information about her, she has mocked my spiritual beliefs, my participation at a party where funds were raised for charity, my nice private personal letters to her, my ability to show up to a baseball game with friends, my sense of humor my reputation and integrity.

    As for my reputation, "I believe it stands on its own merit and requires no defense."

    I am responding to her blog because she attacked me and on a ”PUBLIC” blog my girlfriend who is a sweet, kind, generous, lovely, not to mention “VERY PRIVATE” person. I had written a letter to Alissa and asked for privacy before the show aired because my GF who became my GF after I was off the show was having difficulty with the show coming out. Let me explain why. Imagine having to watch a home video of your new boyfriend on dates/kiss, with someone that he used to date. Then multiply that by the fact that 4 million people are watching it with you - including your friends and family, and only then can you begin to get a feeling as to what my girlfriend has been going thru these last few weeks.

    How nice of Alissa to share with the entire world my personal letters to her and private information about my girlfriends difficult time Apparently Alissa finds it far more probable that I dated her to be on TV rather than dated her to, well simply date her.

    Sad really…. Her bases for this, resulted from connecting dots that don’t exist, to justify her opinions of my girlfriend and I. – Now I will refute her false claims against us… accusation by accusation.

    Accusation: Alissa claims that I "threw a huge launch party at a bar in San Francisco for (my) DEBUT on the show.” And goes on to state that she "is sure (my) weepy girlfriend was right there kicking back some cool brews to help ease the pain in her heart."

    FACT: Show 102 was my debut appearance – There was “NO PARTY.” That said Alissa claims that my girlfriend and I were out partying together "kicking back beers." This is incorrect, we were at a private home together and I can assure you, it was no celebration.

    FACT: Show number 103 was my second appearance: Alissa claims again, that I threw a “huge party.” I was in fact, an invited guest, but not the host, of a small “open to all” viewing party attended by around 75 people. I was one of "THREE GUYS,” from "How To Get The Guy" that were "INVITED" to the party, hosted by the A-list at Kelley's Tavern. And as far as my, and I quote "weepy girlfriend." She is no masochist! She was at Club Pink for "Blue Monday" a Young Adult Division "YAD" Jewish Federation event, (She sits on the executive board) with some other friends, and then went for dinner with those friends. The fact that I even feel the need to spell this out is so disappointing.

    And MR. SELF PROMOTER here only agreed to go to the party if a portion of the night went to my charity of choice & then began spreading the word. As for me, I had a really nice time at the party, “Promoting Myself” AKA all my friends from work showed up, even the folks from my Mt. View office. Most of the guests were personal friends of myself, Mike and Marcus, their guys from the show & both seem really nice. Kudos Valerie at the A-List.org for organizing the party, it was great fun, raised money for a good cause too! BTW Valerie was the one who referred us “Guys” to ABC. They said they were looking for “good, fun guys who were ready to settle down and Valerie thought of us!” Thanks Val, that was very thoughtful of you!

    FACT: Show number 104 the final show - I was at my girlfriends moms horse ranch in Southern California, where her mom threw a huge party and invited all the horses, goats and chickens to watch her daughters new boyfriend make out with another woman on national television (shot a few months earlier.) It was so much fun! I did a really great job of self promoting myself with her mom that night!

    Accusation: Alissa claims that I went to singles night at the base ball game and touted myself as "Joey from how to get the guy."

    FACT: I had a ticket for the game (so did 40,000 other people.) I ran into three amazing terrific really nice old gal friends of mine (that happen to be single) at Momo's Bar and Grill before the game. I then joined them for a party in the ballpark at the game. Once at the party I was approached by a person named Diane who recognized me and works for the Giants. She asked if I would participate in some kind of game where I help match two singles up... I said sure, why not. There were maybe 150 people there. Alissa totally makes it out like I was running around with a banner or something stating that I’m Joey from "How to get the guy," with my name on the big screen. Thats simply not the case, and if you need any more proof email or call Diane who I believe is in the sales executive office at the Giants.

    BTW, my accuser who claims that I am self promoter by going to a Giants game and getting asked to participate in a little fun after Diane recognized who I was - well it just so happens that she performed "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" during 7 inning stretch just a few days later. I’m not saying that she’s a Hypocrite – or shouting "way for the pot to call the kettle black." Because I am sure she was simply completing her contractual obligations to ABC and in no way was intending to promote herself - just the show.

    In all seriousness, we did really enjoy watching them, and we were very happy for Alissa, and the other two “gals,” that they did get to have that honor, because it looked like a lot of fun. And to think we were just a stones throw away in the stands. Thank goodness she wasn’t in a “glass house.” Oh my g-d that is totally something "Abba/dad" would have said.

    BTW I am still trying to figure out why self promotion is such a sin for anyone to do. If you can figure that one out please email me and let me know! Some other things you should know. I “DECLINED” a request for a radio appearance and magazine article as well as an interview with ABC News in NY for "A local boy story." Thanks anyway Mr.L. Goldberg! Make sure there is sun forecasted in NY in 3 weeks!

    How about Dreamer “spiritual girls” attack on my spirituality and decision to re-engage traditional Judaism? I can’t figure out why anyone would attack that.

    Point is that I really enjoyed my dates with Alissa. It’s too bad she can't just accept that and see what the rest of America saw.

    Accusation: Alissa claims that she will publish my letters to her if I “retaliate”

    Fact: As for the personal letters that I wrote Alissa, I can only say that they were very kind and sincere & “PERSONAL” and that the information about my girlfriend should NOT have been divulged. But Alissa shouldn't worry because I will not retaliate if she publishes my letters that I wrote to her. BTW, I don’t see my setting the record straight as retaliation. Those letters came from the heart and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway the private matters about my GF she has already divulged. I only ask that the portion about Darfur not be divulged as I am getting the organization towards a decision to divest, and I don’t need anything complicating that delicate process. If you are truly a humanitarian than at least KEEP THAT PRIVATE!

    Accusation: Alissa claims that I "created a myspace page that, "in essence, a full page advertisement of (myself) with Bio’s photos” the whole nine yards.

    FACT: Well Duh! Isn’t that what Myspace is for? Well I guess she is right, my Myspace was and is definitely self promoting, but so is everyone else’s’ on myspace. So big deal right? I will give her this, before the show I poked some fun at myself, being on a reality TV show, and I have to say it could be seen as a little mean toward the people on reality shows, but all it really was meant to be was self deprecating humor. Blessed are those who laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused. Here is what I wrote: Dear Friends and Family “I always said that I live my life like I'm on camera! Well I'm happy to say the cameras have finally arrived to show the world my charm, wit and s**t eating Cheshire Cat Grin! That’s right! I have traded in my last shred of dignity for some less than dignified 15 minutes of reality TV fame. And let me tell you. If you ever want to see acting at its finest. Acting that can make you reexamine your life. Acting that will make you see the world for THE first time-DO NOT WATCH the ABC-TV Reality Series "HOW TO GET THE GUY,” The show starts Monday June 12 @ 10:00 p.m. (Trailers have already hit Desperate House Wives) but check your local listings as air times may vary."

    My friends all new that the above posting was Bull S--T fun, because they were the ones I would talk endlessly to, all about my dates with Alissa. So no harm done, just having fun. I took it down once it came to my attention that it upset Alissa and the producers. Again, blessed are those who laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused. AMEN!

    BTW, the only reason why I launched a Myspace was because the Field Producer instructed me that I had to become a member and join the shows “SingleInSF” Myspace. And speaking about self promoting websites, I understand that a certain someone and her LA. Well, Awe just forget about it, it’s not important. Again I’m sure these are simply contractual obligations with ABC and are not meant to be self promoting in anyway. Such as my site is.

    So, let’s review (in the third person so as not to look as though my self-defending is self-promoting.) Joey has a myspace site that is self-promoting and somewhat obnoxious (yeah? who doesn't?)... Joey shows up to the ball park and being recognized is asked to participate in something fun in front of around 150 people... (So what?) Joey is asked by a friend to make an appearance at bar with two other guys from the show with some funds going to glide memorial church, (Joey how could you do such a horrible thing?) Joey writes nice letters to Alissa that are apparently elaborate schemes to make him look like a nice guy…. which he is. (Shocking!) I should probably mention that I also guest bartended at a bar (thanks Shiri!) with 25 other young Jewish adults in support of the San Francisco Jewish Film Festival (Shameful Self Promotion!) Oh, I almost forgot to mention; I have worn my favorite T-Shirts out since the show aired and forgot to bring any candy with me! (Gees Joey! have you no decency?)

    Now lets talk about what I didn’t do. I didn’t go on numerous pre-planned appearances, sing at the SF Giants Ball Park, do radio and TV interviews, have a big “DEBUT” launch party, (WHICH IS SOMTHING FUN & WHAT ONE SHOULD DO WHEN THEY ARE ON TV!) That said, if someone else did I am sure it was not to self promote (which apparently is a sin) but instead just following up with her contractual obligations to ABC? Well, I will give the benefit of the doubt. Wont you?

    Also its probably important to note that I didn't attack anybody's Boyfriend in public or private, and why would I? He seems like a menche = good guy.

    I was kind and good and sincere to Alissa on those dates. I feel that I was true to myself. I feel my new Girlfriend and I were tossed under the bus because someone passed judgment on hearsay and could not connect the dots as to what had actually occurred. For the rest of you 3.5 million people who know the truth about me, thank you for your support. For those of you who want to know the story of how my girlfriend and I found each other. Well thats personal and reserved for my friends. Just kidding! I believe that the quickest way to grow as a person is to meet new an interesting people from other walks of life, places etc. For those of you out there who have taken the time to allow me to set the record straight, I cannot thank you enough, please be my friend. You can meet me at

    profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.view profile&friendid=53404802

    How’s that for “A LITTLE SELF PROMOTION" on my birthday?

    Happy Bastille Day to all, Joey

  4. #14
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing your side of the story, Joey. It's always important to remember that there's a second side to everything you see.

  5. #15
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    Welcome to the site Joey!

    Thanks for taking the time to share your side of the story.

  6. #16
    Asst to the Regional Mgr SueEllenMishke's Avatar
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    Hi Joey! I'm so glad you took the time to post your side of the story, and hope things are going well for you. Just for the record, I would not love watching my boyfriend date/ kiss other women on TV either!
    I was made to understand there were grilled cheese sandwiches here.

  7. #17
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    REAL and humble response

    Wow Joey - thanks for the in depth and thorough side of your story!

    I guess I should have just gone back to the archiac use of phones to connect and sort this stuff out instead of broadcasting it all over the Internet!

    Well, I appreciate finally hearing your side of what was happening in this Reality TV experience we had together. I by NO MEANS wanted to create some kind of war of words between us and I see how I unconsciously did that by posting unfounded information, and for that I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE.

    I am really sorry for any way in which I distorted the "truth". Clearly I was receiving information that was not accurate and painted you as some self-promoting weirdo trying to grab 10 more minutes of fame. It all looked like that at the time!

    I am not going to go back and do a play-by-play of where and how information got distorted. I am just going to apologize for anything that felt like an attack or accusation against you or your girlfriend.

    I am glad you can see where things could have gotten misconstrued in my world ~ from what I was hearing you seemed like one big contradiction! And still, I see that I could have called or emailed you (I dont have that info b/c my computer crashed and I lost it all - but I could have found it somehow) to inquire before posting my opinion to the Internet. Lessoned learned.

    I am still hearing not-so-great comments but I guess people can't help but delve into negative gossip. There is an entire industry built on twisted hearsay, judgement and opinion - that energy is powerful. I now see just how powerful it is and I feel a little silly and embarassed that I let it get me!

    I will just put negative comments and gossip in the "whatever" pile and continue to direct inquiries to you instead or better yet, let them fade away and focus on what is positive and uplifting. All I can do here is take full responsibility, apologize to you (and your GF) for any wrongdoing, ask for you both to forgive the mistake and the move on.

    I just want everyone to know that I did enjoy our time together, I learned a lot, laughed alot and got to step outside of my "box" to consider other kinds of men. So thank you for being brave enough to put your life (especally your love life) on national television.

    I am committed to open discussion, and getting to the love in any situtation. I really see how I got all caught up in the gossip and negativity and lost touch with finding out for myself what was going on - which I would normally do.

    So again - I apologize for any false accusations that I might have made about you or your girlfriend and hope that we can move on to a place of mutual respect and honor.

    There is nothing wrong with self-promotion - especially when the focus is uplifting and joyous. I can see now that was your intention all along ~ it just arrived at my doorstep looking like something else.

    You and your girlfriend seem to have a GREAT love and the world needs more of that! I am truly happy for you and maybe we can even get to work together in the future - since I am now writing books and starting a whole new career on helping others find love.

    I hope we can be inspirations for other people to find their life partner.

    Also ~

    Thank you for supporting Glide.
    Thank you for setting the record straight in a way that was relatively neutral.
    Thank you for being fun, funny, open and creative.
    Thank you for being a menche too.

    I am still disappointed the REAL LOVE stories from the show got lost in the ratings battle. Another lesson learned: in "non-attachment" this time. I really can't be too upset, I did afterall find my "guy", am getting to experience love like I have never known before, and am creating the life of my dreams.

    I am so glad I took a chance and lept outside of my safety zone. I want to encourage others to do the same. So much so, I have written a book full of exercises that will help others uncover unconscious blocks and take action toward manifesting their own dreams.

    More info on this - if I may shamelessly promote myself here - can be found at www.meetthedreamer.com

    I think the greatest thing to remember is to forgive ourselves when we screw up! And keep on putting love and positivity into the world. I have learned a big lesson here - so thank you for helping me grow and expand my consciousness.

    I wish you and your girlfriend all the best!

    Alissa
    The Dreamer

  8. #18
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    What did you miss?

    So, I am going to talk about one of the hilarious things I go to do on How To Get The Guy. I want to offer it because it might take a long time to watch since the show is now on the Internet and we are still awaiting download accessibility.

    One event that was truly amazing to me was when Joey (my pal... ) and I went on a date I call "The Flying Trapeze Date". I agreed to the date because I thought it would just be a little swinging here and there. Some hoop swinging maybe, no big deal. Yeah right.

    What it actually turned out to be was a full-on acrobatic feat that I was in NO WAY (neither of us was) prepared for.

    I was scared to death. Joey did his best to appease me and tried to get me to relax, but I could have none of it! I AM DEATHLY AFRAID OF HEIGHTS. Ok - so I am not so much anymore - but standing there on that 40 ft high ledge with someone telling me to "just lean your hips out and grab onto the bar", I was Freaking Out.

    Afterall a lot of conversation about my fear of DYING, my mind calmed down enough to realize I was not, in fact, going to die. And the likely hood of that happening was close to nil since I was strapped into a harness, hooked to a safety rope and their was a huge net below me. Still......

    So, after a few tries, I actually let go of the bar and did some flips! Joey did too! We were quite amazed with ourselves. I was operating under vast amounts of adreneline by that point, so they could have sent out hungry lions and it would have been just part of the mix for me - I was that scared.

    Then came the kicker - they wanted me to let go of the bar, kick my legs out and GRAB ONTO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING COMING AT ME - UPSIDE DOWN. I was like "what the $%*(^*$%#$#) did you say?"

    I think I used every curse word there is. Seriously. When threatened - I can shell it out- like any good, freaked out, potty-mouthed, East Coast Italian would.

    I would pay them to let us see the footage of that date. I am SURE everyone was busting a gut behind the scenes of that date because it was truly horrifying for me and I heard later, that freight was very noticable on my face!

    So, as soon as we get a clue in on when Episode 5 can be seen, we will let you know. That footage is too precious to miss, and hopefully they included it!

    I'll stay connected and offer up other fun tidbits as I have time.

    Peace.
    Alissa
    The Dreamer

  9. #19
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    Alissa,

    I really enjoyed the show... too bad they cancelled it. Congratulations on finding your guy on the internet! And thanks for sharing your story.

    David

  10. #20
    FORT Fogey albean99's Avatar
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    I hope they show it because I can completely identify with your fear, Alissa. I've always thought I had a fear of heights but think it's really the fear of falling or being pushed. I'm impressed that you went through with the trapeze.

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