How to Get the Guy 7/3 Recap…Alcohol: Getting People Laid Since 1870
Welcome back everyone…I hope that everyone enjoyed their 4th of July and maybe met the man/woman of their dreams. Well, taking off from last week I decided to change things up a bit and try on a different bridesmaid dress. It seems more festive to watch the show while wearing a fancy party dress. This week I am going to be wearing my shorter green and white plaid dress, it is kind of a hot night and I don’t have air conditioning. In order to help me stay cool I will be drinking girly martinis instead of the champagne and hopefully this show will be a little more exciting than last week.
Last week on the show it was Valentine’s Day and we saw all the ladies except Michelle go out with the men they had been seeing. Kris started to get serious about Josh and Alissa went a little outside of her comfort zone. Sean swept Michelle off her feet and Anne went from zero dates to too many dates. So throw on your favorite party dress and make up your favorite drink and lets get ready to watch love blossom.
**Disclaimer. There are some references to science in this recap pulling from my inner science geek.**
Chapter 4: Chemistry
Tonight we learn that the show is going to focus on chemistry, I immediately groan because I hated chemistry. I took two semesters of chemistry in college and never want to go back there again. Why can’t tonight focus on biology? There is a subject I understand. We will be working on finding out how to know when you have chemistry with someone. I am happy that is the case although I was looking forward to seeing the ladies in lab coats setting up extensive experiments while a cute lab technician overlooked the whole process.
Kris meets with Theresa and tells her how things are going with Josh. She also informs her that she will be introducing him to her friends. Theresa tells Kris she needs to do boyfriend PR to make the visit go well. She needs to tell her friends about Josh and really talk him up and tell Josh about her girlfriends so he has something to talk about with them. Theresa wants her to set him up to succeed with her friends.
Kris, Josh and her friends all go out for dinner so they have the chance to meet each other. Of course Kris is drinking and starts to slur her words. She tells Josh she “thiiinnks heee is a sweetie.” This woman can’t handle her alcohol and should really not be drinking while being filmed. Kris gets up to go to the bathroom (to puke I suspect) and Josh is left behind with all her friends. As soon as she is gone they start to grill him. The random man at the table asks Josh if he thinks Kris is the one. Josh takes about 10 minutes or 10 seconds to nod yes. Kris returns to the table and everyone has a nice toast and does a shot. The friends all liked Josh and it was a successful night…especially for the bar at the restaurant.
Lighting a Fire Under the Bunsen Burner
The next rule of the show we need to add to our ongoing weekly list is Rule #7: Chemistry is chemical. I would have to disagree. I took a whole semester of organic chemistry that said otherwise. We are also going to learn to not be afraid to experiment.
Anne and Dennis get ready for their third date together, they are going to a cooking class with their close friends. They are having a god time while preparing the food and then sit down to dinner with everyone to talk. One of Dennis’s friends tells this really bizarre story about Dennis going to Europe and getting a pregnant cat and then owning a kitty. That was the weirdest story I have ever heard and I am sorry to include it in this recap. Dennis goes on to say that he is not a cat person and Anne gets mad and Dennis changes his opinion of cats quickly. I am also not a cat person, I am allergic to them and just never understood them. Give me a dog any day over a cat. After the cat discussion they talk about chemistry and then have some drinks. They do better than Kris and her friends on the drinking. They are actually able to walk instead of stumble home.
Michelle and Darrin go on a second date, she has not seen him in a while. I can’t even remember who this guy is. Once again ABC is it too hard to provide us with a little viewing pamphlet of rules, lessons, and maybe a bio, photo, and finger print of all the featured men. I don’t think that is asking too much. Michelle and Darrin get off to slow conversation on their date with Michelle carrying most of it. They talk about what they like and it goes a little like this. Michelle: What color hair do you like on women? Darrin: Me like all. Michelle: Anything else you look for in women. Darrin: I like pretty. I immediately want to smother my face in the pillow so I don’t have to see this awkward encounter go on any longer.
Boiling the Contents of the Beaker
Now it’s time to get onto Lesson #8: The Third Date. I know this is the lesson I have been waiting all season for. Wait, I have no idea what the lessons or rules are because we the viewing public are continually left in the dark. We are going to learn about releasing our inner dopamine. Sounds exciting, I can barely wait. I can barely wait for this episode to be over.
Alissa and Joey are going on their 3rd date and Alissa is going to take him to church. I think this is an odd date choice but what do I know, I am sitting at home pretty tipsy taking notes on a reality TV show. The church is high energy with lots of dancing and singing. Alissa is leaning into her friends while Joey is trying to put his arm around her, she is not showing signs of being interested. I am concerned there is going to be a break-up. I really like Joey and don’t want him gone from the show.
Alissa sits down with Joey after church and wants to talk with him. She feels like he is smothering her and she needs a little space. Joey takes it well and they both feel better after the talk. I also breathe a huge sigh of relief because that means Joey will be around for a little while longer.
Anne has agreed to be set up on a blind date and meets up with a man named Jason. They meet at an outdoor restaurant that is on a huge lawn space. It looks like a really cool place to eat. They sit and chat and get to know each other a little. For some reason Anne kind of annoys me with her laugh. I am sure it is charming to men but for some reason it is like nails down the chalkboard to me. I just want to scream and throw my martini glass at the TV. I of course would not because I would have broken glass, a broken TV, and a possible purple stain on the carpet.
Examining the Specimen in a Petri Dish
It’s time for the Love Coach Event. Tonight we are hitting the Love Lab to sniff out the perfect match. The coaches join the 4 ladies in front a table filled with all different types of food and herbs and ask the ladies to select the food that would create the biggest sexual arousal for a man. They all chose something different and the coaches inform them that oranges are the best for men. The coaches then inform the ladies that for women it is the smell of cucumber and candy coated licorice. I find that interesting because I hate the smell of black licorice.
It’s now time for a science lesson to learn what a pheromone is. It is a scent that functions as an attractant of the opposite sex. There is much debate on whether or not pheromones even exist. Some animals use pheromones in different ways though. Vultures will let out pheromones to attract other vultures to road kill that is nearby and when enough have come to the area they will let out a different pheromone that detracts others from coming and eating. So pheromones can sometimes be used for getting rid of people. So the lesson is to use your powers wisely. Thank you for letting me indulge my inner biology geekiness.
The challenge for the ladies tonight is to sniff out their favorite shirt. Two of the men they have been dating recently were asked to sleep in the same t-shirt for two nights. The ladies need to smell the shirts and determine which they like best. Alissa goes first and she picks a shirt that belongs to Joey. Anne is next and she selects Dennis’s shirt. Kris is up third and she has a hard time selecting but does pick Josh’s shirt. Michelle is up last and she quickly picks Sean’s shirt. All the ladies picked the shirt of the man they are currently dating. I am glad they all chose correct or their would have been some serious explaining going on after the show aired.
Ending the Lab Experiment & Taking Down the Results
All right time for Rule #19: Breaking it Off. If there’s no chemistry by date number 3 it’s time to move on. Michelle meets up with JD and they discuss her date with Darrin. She tells JD that she likes Darrin but he just does not talk much. JD tells her she needs to tell him if it is not working out and to be honest with him.
Michelle and Darrin go out on their third date. The date seems to be going well but the conversation is again dragging because Darrin does not have much to say. Michelle buys him some ice cream and sits him down to talk. She tells him that they are going more in the line of friends and that it is not working out. Darrin listens and accepts it and then walks off. It was a fairly painless break.
Time for my weekly story of random people I have met in my life. A couple of months ago I met this nice guy and we got along really well. We went out on a date and had a good time. The conversation was good but I just did not feel an attraction or chemistry towards him. After the date he asked me out for a second date and we agreed that I would get back with him once I knew my schedule. I told him later that I just did not feel the chemistry between us. It should have been fine and dandy there and we both could go our own ways. He had to have the last word though and tell me he also did not feel the chemistry and did not want to go out with me either. My question then is why did he ask me out again if he felt that way? I hate people who always feel like they have to have the last word.
We next go onto to Alissa. She has met another guy online and is very interested in pursuing a relationship with him. He lives in LA so he would have to come up to visit her. She meets up with the love coaches to talk about this guy. She is very giggly and happy when talking to JD and Theresa. JD tells her it sounds good and all but relationships happen in person. The coaches then give her some rules for meeting an online date. The first rule is to give them a hug so you can get a dose of their pheromones. The second rule is knowing their profile so that you can always think of something to talk about with them. The last rule is leaving your expectations at home. I keep waiting for the obvious like don’t meet in a dark alley but I guess they are not concerned about her safety.
Hosing Off Under the Emergency Shower
The end of the episode is drawing near and we only have one rule left it’s #72: The Mid Dinner Kiss. When someone shows PDA it means they are into you. Michelle and Sean head off on their third date. They go to a sushi-making lesson. It looks like a pretty fun thing to do on a date. After the sushi is made they sit down to dinner. During dinner Michelle and Sean give each other a kiss. After dinner is over they leave the restaurant together and leave in a cab together. The camera is cut off and all we can imagine is that the cab will first drop off Sean and then Michelle at her place. Right?
Anne and Dennis are up next on a date. The date starts off with both of them pretty drunk so we know this is going to be a good date. They are at a bar talking and I am so uncomfortable with their behavior and conversation I am about ready to hit the fast forward button. After they leave the bar they both go back to Anne’s place and she continually tells him to be quiet so he does not wake the neighbors. I would be more concerned about the bright light from the camera following me. They both go in the apartment and the door closes and that is all we are treated too. I guess we can assume they made some coffee to sober up and then Dennis left to go home. Right?
Next we get an outside view of Josh’s apartment and he and Kris come out front. Josh is going to Japan for business and will be gone for a week or so. He heads off to the airport and she heads back into the apartment. I hope he marked his alcohol in the cabinet or else he better plan on hitting duty free on his way back into the country.
Alissa is getting ready for her big meeting with Grant, the online guy. They have arranged to meet on the beach and have a picnic. As soon as he shows up she runs up to him and gives him a big hug. They immediately start talking and laughing. Everything seems to be going well but that is all we see. Hopefully that show us more next week so we are not left hanging with this Grant thing.
Setting Up For a New Experiment
Next week Josh comes home from Japan and Alissa breaks up with someone. This show really needs to work on their previews nothing looks too exciting.
If you like martinis, email me your favorite recipe at Yardgnome77@fansofrealitytv.co m.