Hell's Kitchen 7/9 Minicap: The Donkey Show
Ten of our wannabes are left after Patrick’s demise last week. Christina is ecstatic that Ramsay kicked Robyn and her attitude over to the Blue team, but the guys hope that Robyn leaves the drama behind and just does some work. We’ll see. For her part, Robyn is all too happy to be working with the menfolk, because she’s one of those who doesn’t like working with other women.
Tonight’s challenge involves a game of craps. Fitting, considering some of their cooking. Each player rolls a marked die, and has only a few seconds to call out a food beginning with the letter they rolled. Easy enough, right? Nah. Blue team calls out chicken, heirloom tomatoes, daikon, dragonfruit, and edamame. The Red team snickers that they’ll make an awesome salad with that list. Reds call out lamb, turnip, chicory, Brussels sprouts, and truffles. Chef likes the Red team’s rustic lamb dish, but prolaims the Brussels sprouts crunchy and undercooked. Blue team’s chicken was overcooked and dry, because dingbat Royce didn’t let the meat rest before slicing it. Yet the Blue team wins. “Sweet justice, yo,” says Robyn. *groan*
Off they go to the Paris hotel in Vegas, whooping it up the whole way. The Blues get a killer spread of food, booze, and scantily clad girls. Brian is in heaven. Carrot Top even comes out to meet them, and they love it. The Red team isn’t loving life so much, as they have to pull an all-nighter slow cooking a pig on the grill. Every hour, an alarm goes off that they must get up to turn off. Kimmie cries over the loss, but Tiffany seems to get a weird kick out of prepping the pig carcass. Insert jokes here.
Dinner service, and FOX dusts off American Idol 9 winner Lee DeWyze and trots out ex-Idol cutie Haley Reinhart as well. Even cuter, David Beckham joins the brave diners tonight. The girls squeal with delight, and Dana takes his order with the biggest, goofiest grin I’ve ever seen. The Red team takes three tries to get Beckham and son’s flatbread pizzas right (they keep sticking to the oven), and Clemenza mucks up yet another batch of scallops. After getting yelled at for the watery, unseared scallops, he redeems himself. Appetizers are screaming out of the Red kitchen, though. Robyn of all people steps up on the Blue team to take charge, but Royce is a bumbling idiot tonight and screws up the Wellingtons. Ramsay pulls the men into the cooler to bellow at them, leaving Robyn to hop around the kitchen alone like a cartoon character.
Meanwhile, Tiffany can’t tell her sea bass from her cod (twice!), and a returned Royce plates up some dusty, dry-ass pork chops. Clemenza burns something that I can’t even recognize, and Chef loses it, sending the now-finished Red team (!) over to help the Blue kitchen. This burns Robyn up, of course. After telling the food-covered Clemenza that he looks like a slob and cooks like a donkey, Ramsay declares the Blue team the losers.
Not surprisingly, Royce and Clemenza are nominated, with Royce getting the boot. No loss there. Chef takes the opportunity to yell at Clemenza once more for looking filthy, throws him a clean jacket and tells him to get back in line. And there you go.
F-bombs dropped: 86