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Thread: Hell’s Kitchen 7/24 Recap: Salmonella’s Gonna Getcha

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    Hell’s Kitchen 7/24 Recap: Salmonella’s Gonna Getcha

    Last week, Virginia dodged another bullet when Maribel was sent packing. After the elimination, Virginia throws herself on her bed and has a little pity party: she has no allies left on the red team. “I suck,” whines Virginia and Sara disagrees with her like the lying bitch she is. Sara smugly tells us that Virginia absolutely deserves to go home. I stick another pin into my Sara Voodoo Doll®

    Meanwhile, the blue team speculates about what Chef Ramsay has in store for them. Heather thinks the next challenge will not only be an individual one, but it will be special as well….and not “short bus special.” Garrett and Keith talk strategy and Keith vows that, if he wins any challenge, he’ll pick Garrett. Garrett reaffirms that the contest should be women vs. men and Keith states that they are a team, which you know means this friendship has mere minutes left to live.

    Tippy Top Toe Jam
    Without the assistance of a bullhorn or clanging pots, the chefs are up at 7:44 the next morning. Heather tells us about the bond between her and Keith and says that he wants them to be the final two. Then she says that she still doesn’t know who Keith is allied with. Makes the whole “We’re the final two” promise kind of seem like a bunch of crap, doesn’t it?

    Everyone gathers in the dining room and Chef Ramsay congratulates them on making it to the final five. He then tells them that they’re now all on the same team. One by one, they step forward to receive their new jackets – black this time, rather than red or blue. Ramsay dismisses them to get changed and tells them to be back in ten minutes. It’s at this point that Foreshadowing takes over this show as Garrett tells us that he knew – even when he was in jail – that he had the skills to overcome everything. Whatever, Delusion Boy.

    Back in Hell’s Kitchen, Chef Ramsay explains the very first individual challenge. Under a cloth – which is never good, right? – are ten ingredients that each chef will have to use to create a dish. The winner will be going to Las Vegas to see the restaurant they are fighting for. Keith says that he dreams of Vegas and losing all of his money in a drunken binge of gambling and hookers (<----- speculation) The ten ingredients they can use are: Prawns, veal loin, turnips, mushrooms, Jerusalem artichokes, baby spinach, saffron, lentils, sunchokes and white beets. Just to add to the challenge, some of these ingredients take a full 20 minutes to cook. Thanks to Sara, we learn that lentils are one of those ingredients.

    The challenge is about who can be the most creative under pressure, so let’s see who came out on top. Garrett presents a dish of veal over prawns and mushrooms with saffron. Chef Ramsay says that the veal is cooked perfectly – which Garrett tells us if proof that Ramsay wants him to win - BUT (ha!) there’s too much saffron. Next up is Heather with fresh prawns over a bed of spinach and artichokes. Ramsay says that it’s very nice, but there was dirt in the spinach. When will these people learn? Triple wash the spinach! Nay, quadruple wash it! Ramsay is like the Princess and the Pea with dirt in spinach.

    Virginia’s “arty” chiffonade of spinach with beet tops and poached prawns and truffles garners lots of praise. Ramsay tells Virginia that if she cooks like this at dinner service, he’ll be a happy man. Sara’s grilled veal with a sauce made from toasted prawn shells is next and while Chef Ramsay thinks that the presentation is boring, the flavors work well. Finally, Keith presents his veal chop stuffed with mushrooms and spinach over a prawn salad and Ramsay praises the color of the veal and calls the dish “delicious.” For once, there aren’t any real clinkers here and Ramsay tells them that this is a tough decision. His real choice is between Keith and Virginia with Keith ultimately getting the win. Ramsay tells Keith that he can take one of his fellow chefs with him. Garrett looks confident and smug as Keith mulls over his decision. Garrett’s expression turns murderous when Keith announces that, because she came in second, he’ll be taking Virginia with him to Vegas. Garrett is livid, saying that Keith is a liar.

    Chef Ramsay breaks the bad news to the losers of the challenge: tonight is “Bug Night.” This means that the restaurant is being fumigated. Hell’s Kitchen may serve food with sweat in it, but there won’t be any bugs, no siree. The whole restaurant will have to be wrapped in plastic wrap before the fumigation. Virginia and Keith go to get changed while Garrett fumes (appropriate). Keith says that he feels like a [thing that rhymes with trick] because he didn’t chose Garrett. The challenge losers start in mummy wrapping Hell’s Kitchen, but Garrett can’t take it: he heads off to rain terror down upon Keith. Heather hopes there aren’t any knives in the dorms.

    Garrett corners Keith and starts in on him. He says that Keith is dead to him. He calls him a liar while Keith apologizes, saying that he was torn. Garret tells us he hopes the plane crashes. Kumbayah.

    Vegas Baby!
    Virginia and Keith step outside to find the awaiting limo, which Keith says is a red “pimp” limo. Once they arrive at the Red Rock Casino, they are met by Gordon who takes them to meet the architects of the restaurant.

    Meanwhile, back at Hell’s Kitchen, the wrap job is almost done. Unfortunately, the punishment isn’t over. Scott and Mary Ann break the bad news: the losers will also be doing the fumigating tonight. Decked out in jumpsuits and masks, they get to work spraying down the restaurant. Sara shows her cleverness by rolling out a Darth Vadar impression and I stick in another pin.

    In Vegas, Ramsay, Keith and Virginia meet Albie, the head architect and get a tour of the restaurant space. It is huge. Virginia says being in that space makes it real for her, while Keith says this has given him more incentive to win. Ramsay relates a story of his start as a restaurant owner: he borrowed 25K from the bank to open his first restaurant and it was approximately the size of the bathroom at Red Rocks. Once the tour is over, Keith and Virginia head off in the limo for a night on the town, arranged for them by Gordon. He, wisely, opts out of the festivities. I’m sure he’d be in for a night of Virginia’s inept flirting and more of Keith’s mouth breathing. They’re in the limo for exactly three seconds when Keith uncorks the champagne. They pass the Paris hotel and Keith says he thinks he see Jean Philippe. Virginia gently corrects him: “He’s Belgian, you idiot.”

    Bitching Kills Bugs Dead
    Back at Hell’s Kitchen, it’s 2:17 a.m. and Team Orkin has finally finished their fumigation duties and head back to the dorms to relax. Garrett, of course, is still fuming. Heather talks to him, telling him that when he gets angry, she feels very uncomfortable. In a speech that sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself Garrett tells Heather that he would never lay a hand on anyone: he used to do that and was even removed from his home and put into a youth anger program. He vows to never lay a hand on anyone again…..except for Keith, who is a rat bastard and deserves to die (<----- subtext)

    By 9:43 a.m., Garrett has had plenty of time to cool down, but has he? Yeah, what do you think? Cut to a shot of Garrett fingering a rather large knife. It’s at this moment that Keith and Virginia roll up in the limo. Keith catches a break when Garrett puts the knife back in the butcher block. As Keith and Virginia talk about the restaurant space, Garrett steams. He tells us that he doesn’t care about the trip: he’ll find out about the restaurant when he wins it. How much more obvious could this edit be?

    As the chefs are getting started with prep for dinner service, Jean Philippe brings Keith some good news. Chef Ramsay liked Keith’s veal dish from the challenge so much that he wants to put it on tonight’s menu. And you thought Garrett couldn’t be any more annoyed.

    Sticky Situation
    Dinner service is about to start and Chef Ramsay is determined to have a good night. He tells the chefs that tonight they will have a party of twelve and he wants to be sure that they are served at the same time. In order to get things off to a good start, Ramsay puts Heather and Sara on appetizers. How is having these two work together a good idea? The only way this could be a good thing would be if Heather ”accidentally” impaled Sara on a meat thermometer.

    The good start to dinner service proves elusive as Sara manages to overcook the first batch of scallops, effectively burning them onto the pan. Ramsay screams at her: why didn’t she use a non-stick pan? Heather is faring no better. Ramsay calls her risotto bland and tells them both to start over. We’re only twenty minutes into dinner service and it’s not looking so good. Keith, on the other hand, is already making a positive impact in the dining room. No, he’s not rocking his pants low, he’s rocking the menu: customers are ordering his veal entrée like crazy.

    At this point, there still haven’t been any appetizers served and Heather is hoping that her second attempt at the risotto will pass muster with Chef Ramsay. Ramsay loves it and Heather is stoked. Not to be outdone by Heather, Sara has begun using a non-stick skillet (she probably wants a medal for that one), which means that she’s getting the scallops done as well. Finally, appetizers are getting out to the dining room and they can start thinking about entrées.

    Microbiology 101
    As the kitchen shifts gears to start the entrées, Garrett waits on the meat station, while Keith is manning the fish station. Virginia will be on the veggie station where she’ll be responsible for twenty different vegetables for the entrées. Already, Garrett is having problems coordinating his chicken cooking times with Virginia and the veggies.

    Just a few minutes into dinner service it becomes clear that Garrett can’t handle the pressure. Chef Ramsay says that, if they don’t all start working like clockwork, they’ll be hopelessly behind in an hour. Ramsay keeps on Garrett, asking him for finish times on the chicken. This is the point at which Garrett really screws the pooch…or is it the poultry? Instead of giving Chef Ramsay an accurate finish time for the chicken, Garrett sends chicken to the pass before it’s fully cooked. Of course, Ramsay catches the raw chicken immediately and lays into Garrett: raw chicken could kill someone. Garrett says he did that because it was faster. Ramsay’s reply: Garrett shouldn’t be in chef’s whites.

    In order to save the diners, Chef Ramsay moves Keith onto the meat station and Garrett is sent to the fish station. Right away, Keith garners compliments from Chef Ramsay and Garrett fumes some more. Really, he’s acting like a petulant child. With eight three of one hundred entrees served, things are really going well. This only means one thing – it’s time for another disgruntled fame whore to have a run in with Ramsay at the pass. Aaaaand here she and her breasts come! It amazes me how these people actually think they’re going to win any argument with Gordon Ramsay. When this one comes back to the pass, Chef Ramsay is in the middle of getting a table’s order together. She and the twins lean on the counter and Ramsay asks her to remove her breasts from the hot plate. She responds by flipping all of the food in front of her onto the floor. I cheer as security escorts her out. She probably got what she wanted: air time for the girls.

    J.P Gets His Flirt On
    With an entire table’s food now on the kitchen floor, the chefs will have to start the order all over. Just to add to the pressure, the party of twelve – a bachelorette party – arrives. Chef Ramsay attempts to rally the troops because they really need to complete a dinner service. The first challenge is getting all twelve appetizers completed at the same time. After a little fussing over the size and number of scallops on the plate, Sara gets it together. Ramsay tells us that she just doesn’t want to listen to him. Of course, Sara probably thinks she’s a friggin’ genius in the kitchen.

    Rather than being impatient about getting their food, the bachelorette party is having a great time drinking and flirting with Jean Philippe, who just eats it up. At least one of the girls – hopefully not the bride - asks if he’s single. Miracles do happen, people. Heather and Sara manage to complete all twelve appetizers on the first try! Heather tells us that every time Chef Ramsay thanks her, she gets giddy. I can only imagine.

    Now it’s entrée time for Garrett and Virginia, as the possibility of a complete dinner service looms. Virginia has another fangirly moment as she compares Chef Ramsay to a “super cool rock star” and herself to a “little groupie.” Well, I’ll agree with one of those descriptions.

    So this one time, I went to Jack in the Box and ordered burgers, fries and two Cokes. When I got to the drive thru window, the guy asked me, “How many tacos was that?” Um….none. Here’s Virginia cooking up tortellini even though no one at the table ordered it. An exasperated Chef Ramsay asks where Jean Philippe is. Cut to J.P. flirting his little French guts out in the dining room. Ramsay asks if he’s trying to lose his virginity. Tee hee. Finally, and with a little stumbling by Virginia and Garrett, every entrée is completed and served. They actually completed dinner service in under three hours with only five chefs in the kitchen. While this probably happens every day in countless restaurants, it seems like a big, fat hairy deal in Hell’s Kitchen.

    Evil Triumphs Again
    Chef Ramsay congratulates the final five on a successful dinner service, but reminds them that someone will still be going home tonight. They served a difficult twelve person table, but they didn’t work as a team. He put Sara and Heather on appetizers in order to get the dinner service off to a good start, but they just didn’t gel. Why is he surprised by this? Ramsay says that Sara is feisty (I agree with this if you substitute “bitch” for “feisty”), but she had a really rough service.

    Chef Ramsay’s assessments of the other four chefs are as follows:
    Heather – You are the most inconsistent person, but all the appetizers got out
    Garrett – You left me no option but to move you off the meat station. We’d still be serving entrées if you were on the meat station.
    Virginia – You dropped yourself in the poo tonight (<----paraphrasing)
    Keith – You were easily the best in the kitchen tonight.

    Based on his performance, Keith will be selecting two nominees for elimination. Keith tells us that Heather should stay because she works hard and never gives up. As for the rest, well he’s not sure. Garrett says that if Keith sends him up…..then he swears a lot. Keith still doesn’t know who to nominate. Everyone takes turns begging for another chance and slamming their competitors in an attempt to sway Keith. He tells us that he’ll probably be making a last minute decision.

    Back in the dining room, Chef Ramsay asks Keith for his nominations. First, Keith picks Virginia, because she was messing up tonight and not reading the tickets. His second nomination is……Garrett, whose heads turns menacingly. I begin to fear for Keith if Garrett doesn’t get eliminated. Ramsay questions Keith on his choice: isn’t Garrett his friend? Keith says that Garret is his friend, but that doesn’t matter because he madder his choice based on who was the worst tonight.

    In his plea to stay, Garrett promises Chef Ramsay that his next performance will be his best. Now he’s got a fire in his ass and he’s foaming at the mouth. These are reasons to keep him? Aren’t those symptoms of rabies? Virginia tells Chef Ramsay that he should keep her because she loves making food for people. She wants to keep going in the competition and do it right.

    Chef Ramsay says that this is a tough decision but tonight, Garrett is going home. The raw chicken definitely did him in. Garrett surrenders his jacket and shakes Chef Ramsay’s hand. He tells us that he isn’t going to give up on his dream. Future diners be warned. Ramsay says that Garret fought him and his team every step of the way and that is why he’s gone.

    Next week: The final four face their biggest challenge yet. Each gets their own “restaurant,” which looks like a roach coach. At dinner service, Chef Ramsay invites three master chefs to Hell’s Kitchen, putting more pressure on the aspiring chefs than any of them have ever felt. Sara foolishly takes on Ramsay in a move that, God willing, will cause him to stuff her into the freezer and it’s going to be the. Most. Shocking, Farewell. Yet. Yeah, I won’t hold my breath.

    Making a new voodoo doll after I shredded the first one….. Critical@fansofrealitytv.com
    Last edited by Critical; 07-27-2006 at 01:10 PM.
    Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' - Isaac Asimov

    I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?"

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    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
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    Fabulous recap, Critical!! Thanks for the fun reading material. I missed bits and pieces of the show due to telephone calls.
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

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    Fabulous as usual, Critical.

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    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    I enjoy the show, I LOVE the recaps.

    Virginia gently corrects him: “He’s Belgian, you idiot.”
    Maybe she remembers the scene from last season when Ramsay bellowed for JP to "get your Belgian ass over here!"
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

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    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    . . . Garrett tells us that he knew – even when he was in jail – that he had the skills to overcome everything. Whatever, Delusion Boy.

    Yep, your recaps are better than the show.
    "There's no crying in baseball!"
    -- Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own

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    FORT Regular YummyMummy's Avatar
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    some of my favorite parts:


    Quote Originally Posted by Critical View Post
    Last week, Virginia dodged another bullet when Maribel was sent packing. After the elimination, Virginia throws herself on her bed and has a little pity party: she has no allies left on the red team. “I suck,” whines Virginia and Sara disagrees with her like the lying bitch she is. Sara smugly tells us that Virginia absolutely deserves to go home. I stick another pin into my Sara Voodoo Doll®

    Quote Originally Posted by Critical View Post
    When this one comes back to the pass, Chef Ramsay is in the middle of getting a table’s order together. She and the twins lean on the counter and Ramsay asks her to remove her breasts from the hot plate. She responds by flipping all of the food in front of her onto the floor. I cheer as security escorts her out. She probably got what she wanted: air time for the girls.

    Quote Originally Posted by Critical View Post
    Ramsay says that Sara is feisty (I agree with this if you substitute “bitch” for “feisty”)

    Quote Originally Posted by Critical View Post
    Sara foolishly takes on Ramsay in a move that, God willing, will cause him to stuff her into the freezer and it’s going to be the. Most. Shocking, Farewell. Yet. Yeah, I won’t hold my breath.

    critical, you are awesome! and i agree, MUCH more entertaining than the show itself! lol.


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    FORT Librarian HaikenEdge's Avatar
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    Hilariousness. Good job.
    Revenge is ice cream.

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    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Wonderful job, as always, Critical! That's certainly one of the best titles I've ever seen.

    Quote Originally Posted by Critical
    I stick another pin into my Sara Voodoo Doll®

    Keith says that he dreams of Vegas and losing all of his money in a drunken binge of gambling and hookers (<----- speculation)

    Sara shows her cleverness by rolling out a Darth Vadar impression and I stick in another pin.

    Bitching Kills Bugs Dead

    Virginia has another fangirly moment as she compares Chef Ramsay to a “super cool rock star” and herself to a “little groupie.” Well, I’ll agree with one of those descriptions.

    So this one time, I went to Jack in the Box and ordered burgers, fries and two Cokes. When I got to the drive thru window, the guy asked me, “How many tacos was that?” Um….none.

  9. #9
    FORT Regular Suresam85's Avatar
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    wow...that is an aesome re-cap! haha..love the commentary!

  10. #10
    FORT Regular ScoobyDooGal's Avatar
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    Great recap......
    Boy do I hope Sarah goes home next week!

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