The episode starts with the red team actually being sad about losing Colleen, whom they call their “cheerleader” and their “mom”. Given how much Ramsay hated her cooking, Colleen must have been really nice to be around for them to miss her like that. I admire her ability to keep smiling and keep trying despite Ramsay’s mental abuse.

Now on to contestants that the ladies of the red team don’t miss: Lacey. Ramsay tells Lacey that she is “shining” on her new team and tells her to keep it going. The guys aren’t sure whether to be happy she’s on their team or not.

Bleu Cheese Stuffed Burgers Aren’t Kosher

Their next challenge is to cater a bar mitzvah. Ben is excited, as these are “his people” and several others state that they have catered them before. We meet our cute guest of honor, Max, and also his Mom and Grandma. Momma and Grandma say his favorite foods are hamburger, brisket, and chicken soup.

I’m guessing that there was a discussion about whether or not it was ok for the family to serve cheese with the burgers, as there was a plate of cheese available in the kitchen. I would hope that most chefs should know that some Jewish diners will not mix meat and dairy in the same meal, would avoid pork and shellfish, and other dining restrictions. Obviously Hell’s Kitchen isn’t a kosher kitchen with two sets of dishes and pans, but some folks make more of an effort than others, and they are cooking for a very specific audience this week.

Robert wants to make the burger. The ladies are planning to barbeque the brisket. Ben is very happy to cooking for “his people”. Carol wants to do a burger stuffed with blue cheese. Andrea thinks blue cheese is too strong of a flavor for kids. Carol asks the ladies how done to make the burger – they all say medium well, so she opts for medium. Why even ask then, Carol. Carol ignores all of her teammates’ advice and makes a bleu cheese and bloody rare burger.

The guys’ chicken soup was picked by the guest of honor, Max. LA’s brisket was picked over Ben’s authentic Jewish brisket. Ben was dumbfounded. Now for the burgers – Robert’s Kobe beef burger vs. Carol’s bleu cheese stuffed burger. Max picks Robert’s burger because he didn’t like the bleu cheese. Wow, who could have guessed that, well, except for all of the other members of the red team.

Carol defends her choice by saying that her kids love bleu cheese. Well, my daughter does too, but I have cooked for other kids and wouldn’t think it was kid-friendly fare. Carol can’t take feedback, needs to be right all the time, and the ladies are stuck decorating the restaurant for the party while the blue team goes for a reward.

We get to see the Hell’s Kitchen logo stamped onto matzo balls when going to the commerical break – very cute.

A Day At the Spa – I Hope They Tipped Robert’s Masseuse Well

The red team’s punishment is making over the dining room for the party. The blue team heads out to a reward day at the spa.

Party planner Francisco shows up with his fabulous festive ideas for the party. LA remarks, “I’m gay, but that dude is parade gay.” I think we say Francisco during a prior season’s wedding challenge, but not positive. I also don’t think anyone was surprised when LA remarked that she was gay, even though I don’t think it was ever said on the show before.

“J doesn’t spend his money on stuff like that” when remarking he’s never had a facial. Robert is wrapped up like a burrito and claims he wasn’t a man until he used the loofa.

The ladies fight about how to assemble the dance floor. Carol and Andrea are spitting tacks at each other. Lacey meanwhile is bonding with Ben and relishing being at a reward instead of punishment.

Robert is shown getting a massage and then being wrapped up like a burrito. If I were his masseuse, I’d also suggest a wrap treatment or something that didn’t involve me having to massage his tons and tons of pasty white skin. What is it with this season of Hell’s Kitchen that they keep showing us too much skin. Ack.

The blue team comes back from the punishment wearing sunglasses, marching through the kitchen to mock the red team.

Max’ Bar Mitzvah: Today I Am A Man

The winning burger, brisket, and chicken soups will be on the menu, and the restaurant is decorated for the event. Francisco has a basketball themed beanie on his head.

Max Rubin makes his entrance and one of the ladies calls him “a little pimp.” He seems to be enjoying his event, which is actually refreshing after seeing other shows where the recipients of the free party seemed overly picky and general pains in the rear.

Andrea served risotto without enough mushrooms. Carol tries to step in and help her, but Andrea refuses. I guess two can play at the “I know best, damn the consequences” game. It’s a dumb game, ladies. Work together.

As another part of their punishment for losing the earlier challenge, the ladies go out to lift up Max’ chair for the hora dance. Ben would have liked to have been closer to the action. The ladies would have been happy to have Ben there instead of them, as they are worried about dropping the kid on his noggin on his big day.

J is somehow unable to make a salad with no dressing. Ramsay yells at J to “snap out of it.” I wish J would snap out of referring to himself in the third person, but that’s just me and I wasn’t the poor sap who couldn’t get a salad without dressing.

Coi forgot to get the burgers on for Max’ table. Ooops. Ramsay doesn’t want to serve any other entrees until the burgers are done. Then, Ramsay won’t serve them because the burgers are cold. I wouldn’t want to eat a cold burger either, really.

LA tries to help Coi, but she’s in her own little fog trying to get the burgers warm. LA tries to help Coi cut the brisket one way, but she refuses. Coi has apparently caught the red team “I can do it myself” toddler tantrum bug.

Danny’s burgers are coming out on dirty plates because his station is filthy. Yum. Lacey needs to reheat brisket and has a melt-down while Gordon has a 1980s Wendy’s commercial moment, screaming “where’s the beef!” for several minutes. Clara Peller would have been proud.

Carol goes after Andrea for not getting fries cooked as fast as she wanted them, and tells the camera that she wanted to “punch her in the throat.” That’s nice, and helpful for team cohesion. Seriously, is it Romper Room day in Hell’s Kitchen? The ladies are acting very immaturely. The 12 and 13 year old party guests are much better behaved.

A Complete Dinner Service- Hell’s Kitchen’s Gift to Max

Kids are having fun playing basketball at the party. Francisco and Jean Pierre manage to drop the cake on the floor and JP rips him one. That whole scene looked very staged to me, and we don’t see it, but I’m guessing that there was more than one cake and this was all for our benefit.

The Harlem Globtrotters come out and perform, Max was very happy. Ramsay actually smiled and laughed too, which made Carol proclaim “he’s a real person, just like the rest of it.” I wouldn’t go that far, Carol. I’m sure Seth could come back and point out the many ways in which Ramsay is different than the rest of us. I miss Seth and his insanity.

The actually served the whole party. Carol and Andrea talked about the fries timing fiasco and Carol actually told Andrea that she wanted to “punch her in the throat” which is a very cheery thought for a teammate. It’s one thing to think it. Another thing to tell the camera. But to actually tell Andrea that – wow, Carol is really out there this week.

The blue team won the service. Andrea was asked to pick nominees for the ladies. The other ladies are flabbergasted because Andrea was quite terrible. Some of ladies plan to say that Andrea was the weakest chef if picked.

Andrea’s nominees: she stammers and stutters and annoys Ramsay with her indecision, he tells her to drop the mind games. She eventually nominates Coi and LA. She gives some strange math justification that LA has only given 90% instead of the mathematically impossible 110%. LA says she’s quiet, but strong. Coi tells Ramsay that Andrea was the worst. LA agrees that Andrea was the worst. Carol also agreed that Andrea was the worst. Paula doesn’t fall in line, and says that Coi had the worst performance that night. Coi is out. Paula has one new friend and three new enemies (two of whom are sticking around). Goodbye Coi, we hardly knew ya. Ramsay tells us that Coi’s inability to cook a “bloody burger” was her downfall.

Next week, someone will likely need to be moved from the blue team to the red team. Will Lacey head back to the red team now that they are down by two chefs? Or will it be one of the guys (people are speculating its Giovanni). Whoa be whomever needs to enter the den of the spiteful bitches.