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Thread: Grease 02/18/07 Recap: Keeping It Up With Theatrical Viagra

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    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    Grease 02/18/07 Recap: Keeping It Up With Theatrical Viagra

    *tap* *tap* *tap* Hello? Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? Anyone here? *Moths flit around single light bulb hanging overhead as tumble weeds roll through the room* Where’d everyone go? Oh, that’s right The Amazing Race premieres tonight so that explains why I feel like I’m at an all-beef buffet at a Vegetarian Convention. Oh well, that just means there’s more beef (or Grease) for the six of us still here…ew, perhaps I shouldn’t mention beef and grease in the same sentence, er, ah, rama lama ding dong, ahwap doo wap. Last week NBC decided to conjure up the dearly departed Matt and Ashley Anderson to give them another chance at Grease stardom. However, their big comeback wasn’t meant to be, and they were unceremoniously dumped for the second time later in the show. These reality shows are a kick in the pants, aren’t they?

    For Openers

    The troupe runs on stage as the house band begins a lively rendition of Hand Jive. It’s a great way to open the show, and the audience is pumped with adrenalin. Each contestant gets a chance to shine with some solo verses, all the while dancing and flinging themselves and others about the stage. They’re having a wonderful time, and dammit, I want to play -- except I can’t carry a tune in a wheelbarrow, and I have the rhythm of Navin R. Johnson from The Jerk. At one point they form two lines with each performer taking a turn dancing through the middle. Oh and in case you were wondering, Austin has apparently made good on his bribes with the cameramen and choreographer, as he’s front and center for the most part. Talk about Grease-ing the palms of entertainment. Ba dum ching!


    The Sooooooul Train!


    In keeping with his snappy hobby of declaring nicknames for all, Butthole Billy has bestowed some new ones this evening. Our panel is now referred to as Kathleen the Marshall, Big Jim Jacobs, and David Ian. What? No nickname for David? I can think of a few -- how about Deluded David or Deranged Dave? No? How about Diabolical Dave? Okay, okay, maybe something a bit more Billy-lame like Dapper Dave.

    Sitting on the judges’ panel tonight is John Secada, who has sold nearly 20 million albums. That’s about 19,994,000 more albums than Kevin Federline for those who are keeping track. In addition, he’s won two Grammy’s, and has performed on Broadway in Cabaret and as Danny in Grease.


    John Secada, the Unconventional Danny


    Mating Calls

    Part of the challenge for the winning Danny and Sandy is to convince the judges and the home audience they have terrific chemistry and are the perfect choice for the co-leading roles. Because of this, the main focus of tonight’s show is trying to sell us on the idea that each couple paired up is truly feeling the passion and cohesiveness that real-life couples share (on their good days anyway). It’s a shame really, because the show seems forced and artificial to me, and I actually find myself wishing that one of the partners would pull a cameraman to the side and confess in hushed whispers that their partner is in dire need of a breath mint. But this is NBC, so you know we’ll only hear about the sanitized, uncontaminated compatibility of the couples, and how they couldn’t imagine being paired with anyone else -- until next week that is.

    Who Will Have Tears On Their Pillow?

    The men and ladies are separated by gender and lined up facing the audience. Billy reads off the names of those with the lowest votes from last week: Jason, Juliana, Kevin, and Kathleen. They will be competing in tonight’s sing-off, while all others are safe. Billy says if it were up to the audience alone, Jason and Juliana would be eliminated, but the judges can step in once again and save them if they desire.

    A bright and strong Juliana starts the song Those Magic Changes, followed by Jason, who has a nice voice but sounds a little weak. Kathleen then steps up (she certainly doesn’t look pregnant tonight), and the audience reacts favorably. Smooth-voiced Kevin finishes up the song, and looks adorable. I would save Juliana and Kevin, so I’m convinced the judges will save Jason and Kathleen because I never get it right. After the break, Kathleen the Marshall speaks for the panel and says because he’s one of the best singers here, they will save Kevin, and because she’s one of the strongest actresses, they are saving Kathleen. Jason and Juliana have been given some good exposure through this show, and hopefully they’ll reap some rewards.

    Juliana thinks she didn’t get enough votes because she failed to show her fun side, and Jason says he wishes he could have performed for Judge David tonight because he thinks he would have been David’s favorite. Billy dismisses them saying, “another two bite the dust,” (ouch) which he then admits sounds a little harsh. His co-hostess Denise Van Outen obviously agrees with him because she suddenly begins exhibiting some pretty strong facial tics, and tells the couple she’s sorry to see them go.

    Pairing Up Or Paring Down

    Chad (Ambitious Danny) and Allie (Baby Sandy) are first up and perform the song, Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, and they are energetic, entertaining, and harmonize beautifully. Just listening to them makes me want to jump up and burst into song, but in the nick of time I remember the promise I made to my husband after what we only now refer to as The Karaoke Incident of 1998. Ahem.

    The Judges’ Remarks:
    John Secada - that was electric.
    Jim - Allie hit him in the heart like a Valentine (doesn’t mention Chad).
    Kathleen - it was great to see Chad rock out, and Allie gave a knock-out performance.
    David - that was like Theatrical Viagra and Chad should keep beefing up his performance (if he's taking Theatrical Viagra, he shouldn't have any trouble beefing up, don't you think?); Allie is turning into a great Sandy.


    Slowing down the tempo considerably, Austin (Hot Danny) and Laura (Small Town Sandy) sing I Don’t Know Much. It’s a much-subdued love ballad, and they harmonize well together. Austin says Laura is a sizzling hot woman, and Laura says he’s hot, too. Yeah, that wasn’t a bit rehearsed *rolleyes* -- her fiancé is probably booking a flight to Los Angeles right about now.

    The Judges’ Remarks:
    John Secada - Laura is one of his favorite singers in the competition, and they both showed great personality.
    Jim - he believed their story completely.
    Kathleen - she loves Austin’s charisma and enjoyed seeing his sensitive side; Laura is blossoming before their eyes.
    David - he believes 100% in Austin’s performance of being in love with Laura (more fuel for her fiancé’s fire); Laura is turning into a Broadway babe before their eyes.


    Ashley (Ballerina Sandy) and Max (Slacker Danny) perform It Takes Two, and it’s another up-beat performance. They’re pretty sweet and goofy together, and look like they’re having a great time. Billy asks if they’ve learned anything quirky about each other, and Ashley gives up the information that Max eats salmon garlic potatoes with a side of asparagus for every meal. Every meal? It’s a wonder when they were singing face-to-face, she didn’t faint from the garlic/salmon breath he surely must be sporting. I’m betting she’ll be the one to give us that whispered confession if she can find a way to sneak it past the NBC executives. Max says that ever since Ashley found out her color is green, that’s all she buys. Hey, if they have time to go on shopping sprees, they’re not working them hard enough, right?

    The Judges’ Remarks:
    John Secada - they looked so relaxed, and this is a great show.
    Jim - Max is my unconventional Danny Zuko; Ashley just keeps getting better and better.
    Kathleen - Danny needs to have a sense of humor and Max has that; Ashley looked relaxed and playful and it was terrific.
    David - Max gave an engaging performance and is turning into a real contender for the part; Ashley is physically blessed for this part, but she needs to keep it real and natural (um okay).


    Derek (Wholesome Danny) and Kate (Serious Sandy) sing From This Moment On, which is another slow ballad. I love Derek, but he starts right off the bat hitting a sour note, and follows up with several more. The two of them aren’t in sync at times, and for the most part Kate drowns out his voice. Kate says they have wonderful chemistry, and with that we’re off to hear the judges comments.

    The Judges’ Remarks:
    John Secada - don’t be afraid to make a commitment with what you feel (what?).
    Jim - Derek had some problems in the beginning, but maybe it was the wrong song choice.
    Kathleen - Derek was rough in the beginning, and she’d like to see Kate a little looser.
    David - Derek had some horrible notes at the top of the song, and he’d like to see more star-quality in Kate -- he was bored.



    “Do you see that? Judge David is giving a whole new meaning to the term 'hand jive!”


    Giving It All They’ve Got

    Butthole Billy says Kevin (Bellhop Danny) and Kathleen (Spiritual Sandy) will be giving the performance of their lives tonight. At the ages of 22 and 23? How must it feel to think your most exciting years are over before you hit 25. Regardless, they sing Something to Talk About, and I’m not impressed.

    The Judges’ Remarks:
    John Secada - he thinks they had blending problems, and didn’t listen to each other as good as they could have.
    Jim - wants to see the more innocence from Kathleen; wonders if Kevin had the wrong song because he didn’t see the spark he normally does.
    Kathleen - she normally loves Kevin’s voice but maybe it was the wrong song; she’d like to see more innocence from Kathleen.
    David - Kevin is short on charisma and star quality and he thinks his days are numbered; he’d like to see more of the girl in Kathleen and less of the woman.


    Pick Of The Litter

    It just occurred to me we got through an entire show without a Spiritual Tip from Kathleen. Woot! Now, now, no need to send me money, it was my pleasure to send 1,250 emails demanding the tips come to a screeching halt. I’m here to serve. *bows respectfully*

    My favorites of the night are Chad & Allie, but the favorites of the people who really matter are as follows:

    David - Austin & Ashley.
    Kathleen - Chad & Ashley.
    Jim - Chad & Allie.
    John - Chad & Allie.


    Frankie Avalon will be the guest judge next week, but before the curtain comes down on tonight’s show we’re forced to witness the cheesy goodbye of Jason and Juliana. Who would you like to sing a duet with…other than me, that is. Let me know at roseskid@fansofrealitytv.com.
    Last edited by roseskid; 02-20-2007 at 04:52 PM.
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

  2. #2
    Check out my reality! AZHotFlash's Avatar
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    Wow.. two of the judges picked separate people .. If I were picking a couple it would have been Max and Ashley .. if separate Max and Laura ... I still don't see Austin as Danny .. could be the really blue eyes....

    Awesome evaluation!

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    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Roses, I want to hear more about that "Karaoke Incident of 1998." Another great recap! Hee hee! (btw, love your new avatar!)

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    FORT Fogey mindy384's Avatar
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    im going to go post this in all the threads:
    what this show needs is Simon... he could walk in and simply say "you suck" and it would be true... and we could have a real battle between the few people who can actually sing and are believable as the characters.
    I mean seriously, religious sandy and kate... they are nothing like sandy, they are kind of scary and overwhelming, honestly.

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    When I'm 64 William13's Avatar
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    Congratulations on the karaoke. There are laws here prohibiting me from attempting to sing (even in my own shower), so I applaud your attempt, even if it was unsuccessful. Careers have been built without musical talent before, so you still have hope.
    As one of the many watching The Amazing Race - Rob and Amber Edition (that's not a good thing) I actually forgot that this was on. It's no discredit to your writing for me to say that it sounds as if I didn't really miss much. I have no idea how you remember so many names - I can still barely remember some of the people I've worked with for years.
    All this is a long-winded prelude to my saying that I loved the recap and the screen caps.
    "The sun rose promptly at dawn."
    Tom Clancy in his novel The Teeth of the Tiger

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    Toby's Slave kimrs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roseskid;2248343;
    Just listening to them makes me want to jump up and burst into song, but in the nick of time I remember the promise I made to my husband after what we only now refer to as The Karaoke Incident of 1998. Ahem.

    Who would you like to sing a duet with…other than me, that is. Let me know at roseskid@fansofrealitytv.com.
    Great recap Roseskid! I would love to hear more about the karaoke incident. Thanks for taking the time to still watch this. I have to admit, I am a TAR junkie, so I totally forgot this was on. Sorry to see Juliana go. I thought she had one of the best voices.

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    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    Hand jive, eh? Great recap!
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

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    FORT Aficionado echo226's Avatar
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    " Do you see that? Judge David is giving a whole new meaning to the term 'hand jive!' ”
    Terrific recap and too funny ... all of it ! Thank you ! And can't you just give us at least a little more info about that karaoke incident ?
    "The way to become boring is to say everything." Voltaire

    " The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated. "
    Mohandas Gandhi

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