
Originally Posted by
Miss Scarlet
When I got divorced, we both wanted the house. It was where we'd raised the kids, lived, fixed it up, knew all the neighbors, & gotten very comfortable with the neighborhood. It was paid off, so house payments weren't an issue, except that whoever got the house would have to buy the other one out. The house did still need a decent amount of remodeling, and the power bills were very high. I was the one who got to live in it during the almost 2 years the divorce went on.
As I continued to live there, all the issues with it became more of an issue in my mind. Plus the issue of it being "our" house became stronger all the time. Everything there reminded me of him or us, and the circumstances around all the remodeling/changes we had made, both good and bad.
I even had many odd dreams about him being in the house. Not causing trouble, but just being there and me panicking because of it. Over & over for the whole time.
Eventually I realized I just didn't want to live in that house. I wanted those constant memories gone.
As time went on, it became more & more important in his mind, but less & less in mine, but I never told anyone that. He even made comments like "No well in h*ll is she going to get the house." I used that to my advantage by pretending I wanted it soooooooooo bad.
Well, he bought me out & I bought my now house. No attachment to him whatsoever, he never set foot in it. My house is slightly smaller, but much better set up for me. Much lower power bills. Easier to take care of. All on 1 level, so I figure I can live my life out here if I choose. Nice neighborhood. It still needed some remodeling, but not desperately, just updating. Even more making it "my" house.
I weighed buying vs renting, and buying won out by a mile. I figured if I rented, the money I got for "our" house would go toward affording of a better place. By the time I retired, it would be gone, and rent would be higher, and I would be on a fixed income. Not an optimum situation long term. But by buying, the house would be paid off by the time I retired & that expense would be gone right when I needed to cut expenses. Plus, the major remodeling could be done & paid off too. I'd be going into retirement with a small, paid off, newly remodelled home. Excellent for someone on fixed income. Plus the odd dreams stopped abruptly when I moved.
If you have any emotional attachment to your house, and providing you can afford to pay the bills, I'd suggest you wait a bit before making the decision. See how you feel about it in a year. Meanwhile, make some of the fix-ups you need to.
By then you'll know for sure if you'll be happy there or just plain want to put it behind you, like I did.
Time answers a lot of these questions.