+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 7 FirstFirst 1234567 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 62

Thread: How Do You Deal With Problem Co-Workers?

  1. #11
    eternal optimist Shazzer's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    greener pastures
    Age
    43
    Posts
    3,039
    I like John’s advice best.

    Of course, in my HEAD I’d be tempted to call him, “the boy” every time he referred to me as “the girl.” As in talking to the boss and saying “the boy needs training” or if he does something well say, “that’s a good boy.” Or when mail comes, “that goes in the boy’s in box.”

    There was one man I worked with closely at one time who knew exactly who I was, and yet continued to call me by the wrong name, not even something close to my name. It wasn’t even mean-spirited so much as he just viewed me as so far below him that I was insignificant and not worth taking the time to correct himself. After months and eons of corrections, in which other people would tap his shoulder and say, “Come on, you know her name,” and he would apologize weakly and apathetically, I finally started calling him the wrong name. His name was Michael and I kept calling him Stan. He’d continue to see me in the hallway and say “Hi, wrong name” and I’d say, “Hi Stan,” and so on and so forth. On his birthday card in the office, I said “Happy Birthday, Stan! Love, Wrong Name.”

    At my current job I prefer to be called by my longer name (my name can be shortened) and this one guy told me he thought it was stupid and so hence kept calling me by the short name in a very purposeful way. Well, good news for me, his name is Richard and prefers to be called thusly, so whenever he shortens my name I refer to him as “Dick” which he hates. After a few rounds of being referred to as “Dick” he shaped up and started calling me by my right name. Actually, now we get along famously, and joke around a lot, and whenever he slips to calling me by my shortened name I just smile at him and say, “Dick” and he laughs.
    "If you're like me, you have a 'been there, done that' attitude when it comes to paleolithic paleontology." - Jon Stewart

    "I swear, you are the ho-ho ho." - OTS

  2. #12
    Premium Member Bumpkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Snarksville
    Age
    47
    Posts
    2,294
    Miss F -

    I worked in the construction biz for many years - also the only 'gal' in an all-male environment.

    These days I am in the aviation industry -- where the male ego is huge and the 'girls' should be efficient, able to type well and make good coffee, but NOT have an independent opinion.

    Actually - Microsoft has some good online tutorials, and I am sure others exist on the web. I'd find a good online help for whatever his application and point him there.

    After that, my mantra might me, "F1, Tom, F1"

  3. #13
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    7,545
    Originally posted by Bumpkin
    After that, my mantra might me, "F1, Tom, F1"
    Tom's answer, "F1, is that a new jet"?

  4. #14
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Looking for a place to happen
    Age
    40
    Posts
    11,376
    That's so funny about the Dick thing.

    We have a guy here that calls me TON-ya all the time. (It's pronounced Tan-ya) Because it's a common mistake, I didn't care the first hundred times, but after a couple months, I started to correct him. Well, to this day, he still calls me TON-ya and said to me, "Well, it's the same thing" and I said, "Actually, for someone whose job requires attention to detail, I think it's pretty ignorant to not be able to remember someone's NAME that you see everyday"

    He actually apologized a day or so later and has made an attempt to get it right. Otherwise, I don't have a problem. My boss, on the other hand, will get really annoyed on my behalf not only for the pronounciation of my name, but the spelling. I couldn't care less about that... it's an odd spelling.

    I'm really finding everyone's stories so great. And Bumkin, I SO relate with the 'type well, make good coffee'. The F1 comment cracks me up.

    It's not that I find being seen as a secratary so offensive.. because it isn't. I know my job is more administrative and a 'catch all' position. I happen to answer the phones. I just hate the idea that I'm so incompetent. If I'm going to spend 30 minutes explaining the fine art of opening a file in Word, PAY ATTENTION.
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.


  5. #15
    The race is back! John's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    On the mat
    Age
    44
    Posts
    40,432
    If you have a good relationship with your boss, and you approach him in the right way, it can help a lot.

    You don't have to approach it from a "bitching about the new guy" standpoint, but instead approach it from the "I want to be as efficient as I can, but I'm wasting a lot of time going over and over the same basic computer stuff with Tom, and I feel that if he were to take a basic computer class, it might help us both be more efficient." And then say "Oh, and it kind of bothers me when he continually refers to me as "the girl", could you maybe mention to him that I have a name that I prefer to go by?"

  6. #16
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Looking for a place to happen
    Age
    40
    Posts
    11,376
    That's a good approach because I do want harmony in the office and the past couple weeks have really gotten worse, not better. When a new employee is hired, you want to give them a grace period, but he's resisting doing things 'our' way and 'his' way is counter productive.

    I'm working on a project with my boss for a couple hours tomorrow, so I may approach it head on there. As I said, he's a friendly and likeable guy, I just shouldn't have to waste my time on him if it's counter productive.
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.


  7. #17
    FORT Fogey joeguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    just above the horizon, but below the ozone
    Posts
    3,748
    get a small pocket tape recorder and tape him when ever he starts to talk to you, play it for the boss and tell him, "the girl" os borderline if not over the line sexual harrassment. that will put a stop to that no matter what his age, times have changed. trust me, I had to change and watch what I say here at the school where I work. After 25 years in the construction trade and all the jokes and phrases we said. I had to learn a whole new way of life. and you can teach an old dog new tricks OR SHOOT THE DOG!!!!!!!!

  8. #18
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    7,545
    Oh, John. Now I won't hear Simon's English accent anymore. Now, you'll coo like a cute baby. I can't read the name on the side, but think it's one of Anne Geddes(sp?) pictures.

    Ms. Filangi, I'm glad you have advise on bringing up the name thing because if he ends up being a petty person, he might baby, sweetie, honey, girlie you to death. This way he'll be on notice not to start stupid names. I credit you with also wanting to have him helped and not just wanting him out of your hair.

    I'm also very glad that the FORT men are understanding and supportive!!!

  9. #19
    The race is back! John's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    On the mat
    Age
    44
    Posts
    40,432
    The name on the side is Tom Arma, and is from www.tomarma.com

  10. #20
    eternal optimist Shazzer's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    greener pastures
    Age
    43
    Posts
    3,039
    Of course John’s suggestions are the best.

    In my two instances, I was able to react the way I did because of the general spirit of the office. I.e. in the first example, there existed a running joke about him incorrectly referring to my name and everyone already picked on him for it, so my addition of his new fake name, “Stan,” fit in well with the spirit of the office, i.e. he didn’t take offense and it was amusing for him/me/everyone else.

    In the second instance the man who referred to me incorrectly was someone with whom I joked with all the time, and who used to talk about his friends with unique monikers and when I called him “Dick” he laughed. This is the same man who refers to his best friend as “Crapweasel” so I knew I could call him “Dick” with effectiveness, both humorously and to make my point, which he got and laughed along with. If he now dumps horrible work on me, he always signs his notes, “Sorry, ‘that Dick guy’”

    John’s methods are the best, and I have used them with effectiveness in various positions. Although, I’ve had so many horrible jobs with really nasty people that I’ve really just become used to people acting in various ways, and nothing surprises me anymore. So I’ve learned to just shrug most things off, which is lucky lesson for me because my company recently went through a tremendous shake-up, and in my recent yearly review I got a large raise for being, “unflappable and easy-going in the face of tremendous challenges.” So Miss F, maybe you’ll be rewarded for your patience.
    "If you're like me, you have a 'been there, done that' attitude when it comes to paleolithic paleontology." - Jon Stewart

    "I swear, you are the ho-ho ho." - OTS

+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 7 FirstFirst 1234567 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.