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Thread: For animal lovers

  1. #8841
    MRD
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Quote Originally Posted by gabriel;2787776;
    Law of Physics as applied to cats Part 1

    1 - Law of Cat Inertia:

    A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest unless acted upon by some outside force such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

    2 - Law of Cat Motion:


    A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

    3 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics:

    Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, all heat flows to the cat.

    4 - Law of Cat Magnetism:

    All clothing attracts cat hair in direct proportion to the degree of color difference between the cat hair and the fabric color.

    5 - Law of Cat Stretching:


    A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

    6 - Law of Cat Sleeping:

    All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.


    Laws of Physics as applied to cats Part 2

    7 - Law of Cat Elongation:

    A cat can make its body long enough to reach just about any countertop which has anything remotely interesting on it.

    8 - Law of Cat Acceleration:

    A cat will accelerate at a constant rate until he gets good and ready to stop.

    9 - Law of Obediance Resistance:

    A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

    10 - Law of Rug Configuration:

    No rug may remain in its naturally flat state if a cat is present.

    11 - First Law of Energy Conservation:

    Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

    12 - Second Law of Energy Conservation:

    Cats also know that energy can only be stored, by a lot of napping.

    13 - Law of Refrigerator Observation:

    If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

    Have you heard the theory of perpetual motion as it pertains to cats and buttered toast?

    Well Buttered toast always lands on the floor butter side down.

    Cats always land on their feet.

    Therefore, strap a piece of buttered toast to the back of the cat and drop both. They will then hover over the floor, spinning, thus causing perpetual motion.

    This was an actual theory published in Omni magazine several years ago.

    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  2. #8842
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Law of Physics as applied to cats parts 3 and 4


    Part 3 --

    15 - Law of Fluid Displacement:

    A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

    16 - Law of Cat Disinterest:

    A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

    17 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction:

    Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

    18 - Law of Comfort Seeking:


    A cat will will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

    19 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy:

    All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

    20 - Law of Cat Embarrassment:

    A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

    21 - Law of Milk Consumption:

    A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

    Part 4
    22 - Law of Pill Rejection:

    Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

    23 - Law of Equidistant Separation:


    All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from each other, and equidistant from the center of the room.

    24 - Law of Space-Time Continuum:

    Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.

    25 - Law of Cat Composition:

    A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

    26 - Law of Furniture Replacement:

    A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

    27 - Law of Cat Landing:

    A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

    28 - Law of Cat Invisibility:

    Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them.

    29 - Law of Cat Probability (Cat's Uncertainty Principle):

    It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where it "might" be.

    30 - Law of Selective Listening:

    Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, she can't hear a simple command three feet away.

    31 - Law of Concentration of Mass:

    A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap she occupies.

    32 - Law of Cat Obedience:

    As yet undiscovered.


    and then we should add the buttered toast perpetual motion as #33

    Thank You myrosiedog for reminding us of that one.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  3. #8843
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Too late to edit previous post, so here is another post from the crazy cat man.

    I just want y'all to know that I am not sad posting this, it was merely an observation. -

    The other day when the snow was falling to create our 14-18 snowfall in 24 hours, Joey was sleeping, sleeping, eating, pooping, sleeping.... Not once did he look out the windows, not once!

    Mona would have pulled an all nighter watching the snow, the crazy people, crazy drivers, snow plows, and then only after the commotion had died down would she have come to bed.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  4. #8844
    Wild thang Rattus's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    How's Finley doing, you ask? Okay, you didn't, but I'm going to tell you anyway . Poor little beast recovered from last week's trauma only develop a nasty cold yesterday. He continues to eat and drink, which is very good, but he spent a good portion of last night spraying kitty snot all over my face with his constant sneezing. He is not a happy little dude right now. I wasn't a particularly happy little dude last night.
    All I wanted was a 45, a stinking 45 - the record or the gun. I'd even settle for the damn malt liquor. - Al Bundy.

  5. #8845
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Quote Originally Posted by Rattus;2788309;
    How's Finley doing, you ask? Okay, you didn't, but I'm going to tell you anyway . Poor little beast recovered from last week's trauma only develop a nasty cold yesterday. He continues to eat and drink, which is very good, but he spent a good portion of last night spraying kitty snot all over my face with his constant sneezing. He is not a happy little dude right now. I wasn't a particularly happy little dude last night.
    Poor Finley. Does Finley poo need some medication now? Surprising how loud a kitty sneeze can be. You continue to be a good mama and let us know how the bugger is doing, you hear?
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  6. #8846
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Glad to hear somebody else gets the sneeze in the face, too! I"ve actually wiped Sashay's nose with a Kleenex...and it is not a pretty sight!

    Glad our Finley is in "normal kitty mode", albeit with a cold.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

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    Re: For animal lovers

    we had a cat with a sinus problem - dealt with it for a couple years.
    then one night we were eating chinese and the little imp was beggng - so let him lick a little hot mustard off of my finger.

    after he got done tearing through the house, sucking down a big bowl of water, and we wiped all the snot off his face ---- it was over. no more sinus problems for years.

  8. #8848
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Shame on schmoo!!!! Funny, but naughty.

    I did the same thing with my son when he was about 2 years old. He was bugging me for some "flamin' hot" potato chips that I had. I gave him one, thinking that it would get rid of him, finally. That boy wolfed that down, and kept coming back for more, and still loves them 'til this day!!
    Last edited by prhoshay; 02-09-2008 at 01:44 PM.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  9. #8849
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Joey achooed at me the other day. so I blew his nose.

    Schmoo - shame shame.. *tee hee*
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  10. #8850
    MRD
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Waldo LOVES Wasabi peas. The other two spit them out immediately because they are too hot. But not Waldo. I love them too and on occasion will drop one and he grabs it and wolfs it down.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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