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Thread: For animal lovers

  1. #10861
    From the corner of my eye Jewelsy's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    I got this email and thought it was cute:

    ****************************** ****************************** *********

    "What pets write in their diaries..."

    'Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.....'
    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



    'Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..'
    Day 983 of my captivity...

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................
    Last edited by Jewelsy; 09-17-2008 at 05:15 AM.
    "Among the blind, the squinter rules." ~ Gerard Didier Erasmus

  2. #10862
    A Meat Loaf Aday... ClosetNerd's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    I never get tired of that one!
    Thanks Jewelsy!
    ~There is no way to Happiness. Happiness is the way.~

  3. #10863
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    OMG! that made my whole day! Thank you for sharing!!!
    Yup, with donuts!!

  4. #10864
    MRD
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    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    The part about the bird gets me everytime.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  5. #10865
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    I swear - I laugh every time I read this one especially about the bird being an informant and the dog retarded...

  6. #10866
    FORT Fogey Lil Bit's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    We are trying to teach Roxie how to go in and out of her dog door. She's not liking it so much. She will go through if you push the plastic flap open a little, but she doesn't like to open it herself. My son brought his dog over last night and we had her go in and out thinking that Roxie would follow her, like she does everywhere else. Nope. So, I guess I have to keep working with her.

    My husband built the nicest dog kennel for our other dog, Sam. It's a fenced in cemented dog run with a roof and removable sides to keep the snow and cold out in the winter, but open to the fresh air in the summer. He even wired it and put a light in for when the sides are on in the winter and they block out all the sunlight. We spoil our dogs just a bit.

  7. #10867
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Sounds like instead of naming her Roxie, 'Miss Priss' might have been a good name! The next thing you know, you'll be telling us that she's having "the vapors"! I think that must be what Henry has when he's had all he can take.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  8. #10868
    In My Nest doxie's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay;3200506;
    Sounds like instead of naming her Roxie, 'Miss Priss' might have been a good name! The next thing you know, you'll be telling us that she's having "the vapors"! I think that must be what Henry has when he's had all he can take.
    That pretty much describes it! Henry also "takes to his bed" which is where he was this morning when he got rudely awakened and taken to the vet to stay until we return from our trip to CA. He was ALL excited about being in the truck until it dawned on him where he was going. He went limp and had to be carried into the vet clinic because he refused to walk. He'll be fine (wouldn't leave him there if I thought differently). He has his blanket with him and one of the women who works there LOVES him and lets him out of the kennel to sleep under her desk during the day. I already miss my furry guys.
    Click here to automatically donate FREE kibble to homeless dogs and cats in shelters.

  9. #10869
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Wonder if they make doggy fainting sofas?
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  10. #10870
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    Re: For animal lovers

    Quote Originally Posted by doxie;3200591;
    ...one of the women who works there LOVES him and lets him out of the kennel to sleep under her desk during the day.
    That was my boy Chauncy. Whenever I took him to the vet the he became the office dog. The girl behind the desk would let him out of his cage on weekends when she went to check the animals because her boys loved him to death and would play with him the whole time they were there. Poor Henry.

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