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Thread: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

  1. #51
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Quote Originally Posted by Poppy Fields View Post
    On reflection, I realize that my nostalgia for bygone times is all about the fact that I was care free then.
    For me, I think some of it's that, but some of it's just a whole lot more basic than that, at least with regard to some things. When I think about the cookies one neighbor handed out at Halloween, it's not just that I'm feeling nostalgic for the days when neighbors could do such a thing. I'm also remembering that those molasses cookies were huge and soft and often warm from the oven when I got them. If I tasted one for the first time today, I suspect I'd still be really fond of them. And, unfortunately, I now want one, and I don't have that neighbor's recipe.

    And, really, some of the stuff we've been chatting about isn't stuff I necessarily want back (e.g. leisure suits). It's just funny to remember them. I'm not sure that's the same kind of nostalgia.

  2. #52
    Ellie May SugarMama's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    It's been so much fun remember days gone by - how things have changed! So many of these things I'd forgotten as life "happened" to me.

    I was just wondering - for those of us who probably have fewer years ahead of us than we have behind us...what have we learned? Yes, times were very different when we were growing up. Yet, I remember vividly listening to my grandparents sit around with their friends and relatives and talk, just as we've been doing here...remembering simpler times (I'd think "are you CRAZY?" when they'd talk of having to walk to an outhouse, pump water into the house, or cook on a woodstove!).

    But we, like they, surely learn some things as we get older. Regardless of technology and gadgets, social graces or disgraces, if we're lucky we kind of grow up, not in a knowledge sort of way, but in an understanding of how fragile life really is, how precious time is, that it really does matter that we do unto others as we'd have them do unto us...and not because we're focused on what's in it for us.

    For example, one thing I've begun to enjoy (secretly) doing in recent years is this: while standing in line at the grocery story with a full or or half-full basket, if some young person comes in behind me with just a few items, I smile and ask them to please go on ahead of me, "I'm in no rush." Now, they might think I'm just a batty old broad with no life worth getting to , and I'll let them believe it...but occasionally they seem to be seriously struck with a revelation of some sort, and thank me profusely, nodding and waving as they leave the store earlier than they'd thought they'd be. I hope that just a few of them will remember that someday and do the same with someone else.

    So I think I've learned a good degree of patience, after raising children, taking care of elderly grandparents and parents, watching one die, sitting in hospital waiting rooms, waiting for prayers to be answered, etc.

    I'm wondering, as I look back, on what else I've learned (positive things ). Certainly sympathy and empathy take on new meanings as we mature and experience the harsher aspects of life...we can relate to others' sufferings, and if we're lucky be able to help them, at least offering comfort when we can.

    ~~~~~ okay, taking a break because I'm getting too philosophical
    To return evil for good is devilish; to return good for good is human; to return good for evil is Divine - Alistair Begg

  3. #53
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    What a lovely post. I agree with all of it. Sometimes I feel like I'd be a disappointment to the younger me if she knew how mellow I'd turned out (I used to be quite a pistol), but truth is, I like mellow now. To everything there is a season.
    just1paul and Dragonlady like this.
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  4. #54
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    SugarMama, just a lovely post. I agree with you on all of it.
    It's a good thing to have nostalgic feelings and memories...it's what makes us, us.

    Gutmutter: I was just thinking today how I used to be a lot feistier than I am now.... Probably part of aging and realizing that life's too good to always be fighting it. And lord knows, I just don't have all that energy anymore...rather save that energy for something more enjoyable.

  5. #55
    FoRTer coltnlasma's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonlady View Post
    ...life's too good to always be fighting it.
    I love this!
    I do think one of the best things about aging is the realizing. There are so many things for me, like the concepts of grace and forgiveness, that I carried around as head knowledge for years, but finally something "clicked" as I've gotten older and I began to feel the magnitude of the concept, and it began to make greater sense to me. (I wish I could better articulate that thought, but I hope ya'll know what I mean.) If it's not too pretentious, I'd like to think that could be budding wisdom. Then there are other things, like patience, for which life keeps having to throw me lessons.
    Along the lines of what we learn over the years, do any of you ever think about what advice you'd give to the younger you if you could?
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  6. #56
    Go Teams! inthegarden's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Quote Originally Posted by coltnlasma View Post
    I love this!
    I do think one of the best things about aging is the realizing. There are so many things for me, like the concepts of grace and forgiveness, that I carried around as head knowledge for years, but finally something "clicked" as I've gotten older and I began to feel the magnitude of the concept, and it began to make greater sense to me. (I wish I could better articulate that thought, but I hope ya'll know what I mean.) If it's not too pretentious, I'd like to think that could be budding wisdom. Then there are other things, like patience, for which life keeps having to throw me lessons.
    Along the lines of what we learn over the years, do any of you ever think about what advice you'd give to the younger you if you could?

    That is something that has been on my mind lately coltnlasma.
    I would advised my young self to be more self confident, have more courage, don't be shy, don't over think, be more carefree.

    I love your post SugarMama It rings true in so many ways.

  7. #57
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Great post, SugarMama! I realized as I read it that it has become true for me too. One concrete example, I used to be a crazy driver - fast, aggressive, etc. In the last few years, I have really slowed down and just chilled out. Part of it was watching others who do it and see that they maybe gain 20 seconds and part of it was realizing when I got where I was going I was ticked and stressed. Just isn't worth it for an extra minute!

    To my younger self - I agree on self-confidence. And also to not sweat the "stuff". At the end of the day the important stuff isn't "stuff". Oh, and never be less than who you are for anyone! I hate girls that dumb themselves down for guys - all that gets you is a dumb guy!
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  8. #58
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Quote Originally Posted by coltnlasma View Post
    I love this!
    I do think one of the best things about aging is the realizing. There are so many things for me, like the concepts of grace and forgiveness, that I carried around as head knowledge for years, but finally something "clicked" as I've gotten older and I began to feel the magnitude of the concept, and it began to make greater sense to me. (I wish I could better articulate that thought, but I hope ya'll know what I mean.) If it's not too pretentious, I'd like to think that could be budding wisdom. Then there are other things, like patience, for which life keeps having to throw me lessons.
    I think you articulated the thought very well.
    I think as we get older, most of us "get it" so we understand.
    I love being old for what it has done for my head and emotions.
    Definitely not happy about what old age has done to my body though.

  9. #59
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    I don't even mind that so much... when I was younger I was hot and I got lots of attention from the guys - not many girl friends. All that ever got me was the thrill of the chase followed by a broken heart. Now I prefer the acceptance of a good friend and I don't think it's just sour grapes that I don't turn the guys' heads anymore. Trying to imagine where I'd fit a guy into my life just makes me tired. Not that I'd turn down true love if it came my way. I'm just not out there grasping for it. I'm happy where I am right now and I haven't always been able to say that in my youth.
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  10. #60
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Quote Originally Posted by Gutmutter View Post
    I don't even mind that so much... when I was younger I was hot and I got lots of attention from the guys - not many girl friends. All that ever got me was the thrill of the chase followed by a broken heart. Now I prefer the acceptance of a good friend and I don't think it's just sour grapes that I don't turn the guys' heads anymore. Trying to imagine where I'd fit a guy into my life just makes me tired. Not that I'd turn down true love if it came my way. I'm just not out there grasping for it. I'm happy where I am right now and I haven't always been able to say that in my youth.
    Yes, aging does make it more clear as to what is important and what isn't.
    Like you, Gutmutter, I, also, was "hot" & extremely good looking when younger.... It takes some adjustment to realize you no longer will have that and I have to admit, I wish I still had it. It's been a small struggle to learn acceptance of this change but I'm doing ok with it. I've come to realize that I'm no longer "desirable" to men, young or old but will now become that old woman that people say, "I bet she was good looking when she was young." When I was younger and very insecure, I never would have been able to adjust to it.

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