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Thread: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

  1. #131
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Spockwhat, I truly do understand what you're saying here. I think I'm the one who said she'd not go gentle into the night (Dylan Thomas). I didn't mean I'd rage about aging...but I do find myself doing/trying certain things that "help" the aging process go a little slower, i.e. good facial care, including new advances in anti-wrinkle creams, using products that keep my long eyelashes even longer, covering grey hairs with color, wearing nice but age appropriate clothes (staying in fashion without trendy items instead of wearing the same things that looked good at 40, & the same for makeup, hairstyles, etc), tending to keeping my nails/toes in good shape, exfoiliating, lots of moisturizers, etc.
    I have no intention of going under the knife to achieve a "younger" look but I'm not against keeping myself looking as good as I can.
    I'll admit that I don't have the same perspective about being ok with not turning heads anymore...I miss it ...maybe a lot....but I accept it.
    It's possible that I feel this way because I'm a long way from being in my '40's and that may have changed my perspective somewhat. I used to feel just as you did. I may be more vain than I thought I was because I'm not thrilled with the changes but I know I'd hate to look like a lot of those Real Housewives and their strange looks, with fat lips, fat cheeks, eyebrows lifted to their hairline, etc. so the plastic surgeons won't be getting any of my money.
    I just deal with it day by day. I miss my old young face and particularly my smooth neck but I adjust and do my best to accept it.
    I must admit though that the best part of aging is our gained wisdom and way of thinking. Wouldn't trade that for my younger brain ever!

  2. #132
    Ellie May SugarMama's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    I've always maintained: I want my 20 year old body, my 30 year old patience, my 40 year old confidence, and my 50 year old wisdom...that would be just about perfect!
    To return evil for good is devilish; to return good for good is human; to return good for evil is Divine - Alistair Begg

  3. #133
    Ellie May SugarMama's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    By the way: is spelling even taught in schools anymore? I'm friends on facebook with a lot of my kids friends, and their spelling is horrible (for the most part, occasionally one or two are consistently right). And I'm referring to high school and college aged kids! What's going on?
    nennie likes this.
    To return evil for good is devilish; to return good for good is human; to return good for evil is Divine - Alistair Begg

  4. #134
    chavy chaf chaf Asteroids Champion, Bejeweled 2 Champion, GalaGalaGa Champion, Beat The Meter Champion, BejeweledŽ 2 Action Champion, Little Protectors Champion spockwhat's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Dragonlady, my words weren't intended to make anyone feel bad about taking care of themselves... and it's actually a pretty fresh realization for myself personally, so... let's see if it lasts. :p

    SugarMama, I'm looking forward to that 50 year old wisdom.

    As for spelling, I know that in our local public schools, they no longer teach it. A neighbour of mine is at his wits end about how poor his daughter's spelling is and he has started giving her spelling words as "home"work.
    My children go to an independant school where they still get a spelling list every week to learn, thank goodness. It shows. They also have to learn their times tables and the rest of it in math. It also shows, not that either of them are whizkids in math, but they can still do all that stuff in their head.
    One thing I bemoan is the loss of home ec. Our schools don't teach it anymore here... is sewing somehow old fashioned? The ability to sew isn't necessary to designing fashion? Art quilting? It makes me sad to think that sewing may become a lost art for many, many kids.

  5. #135
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Spelling, unfortunately, got caught in the vise of the whole language movement a number of years back and never really escaped its grip. For those unfamiliar with it, the whole language theory maintained that children's creativity was being stifled by over-correction of grammar, spelling etc. and the solution to that was to let them freely express their ideas without worrying about those niceties until some later time when they would edit their writing for those problems. Trouble is, the editing step never seemed to take place. Trust me, spelling, grammar, and punctuation are completely mystifying for many college students as a result. I don't think the recent emphasis on group work has especially helped either, because some things--like the ability to spell--are things you need to understand as an individual. And don't even get me started on what texting/tweeting has done to writing. Or what keyboarding has done to handwriting. It's not just that younger people can't write cursively--some of them have trouble even reading cursive handwriting, no matter how clear it is. As someone who used to do calligraphy, it grieves me that no one seems to care about penmanship anymore.

    At last--something to which I can respond. I've never really cared much about make-up. I work out, and I like clothes, but I didn't care about make-up before and I don't care about it now. I expect I never will. Neither did my mother, really--I never saw her wear anything more than lipstick and a little blush, and then only if she was going out--and literally to the day she died, people were saying she didn't look her age. But I think that had a lot to do with her attitude too, because she was also routinely referred to as sharp and funny, both of which she was. At eighty-seven, she was in the hospital with a broken hip, visiting with relatives, when a physical therapist came in and started working on her legs, which involved him kneeling by her bedside. When he said he hoped she didn't mind that he was interrupting the visit, she said, "Oh, I've never objected to an attractive young man kneeling at my feet." He blushed to the roots of his hair, and I broke up laughing.
    prhoshay, Cootie, nennie and 2 others like this.

  6. #136
    Ellie May SugarMama's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Makeup was never important to me - unless I was trying to attract a man Once I got married, it fell by the wayside...until I started approaching 50 Everything changed for my physically! My lips began to disappear, and I had to go from gloss to color - but the "fun" lipsticks I used in my youth looked waxy and fake on me :cry So I've discovered that a tinted lip gloss is what works for me now.

    My eyes...I was well-known for my huge, almond shaped eyes, lashes so long people would ask if they were fake, and they weren't. Bedroom eyes, everyone said. Unfortunately, time stole that beauty also. Now my eyes aren't "bedroom eyes" but more like "mudroom eyes" - for the tired castoffs unworthy of entry into the house. Nothing seems to perk them up anymore. So I just use a brushed on liner, curl those suckers, and put on a light coat of mascara. Anything heavier looks unnatural. Also, I had to admit that while I'm putting mascara on my eyelashes, I also put a bit on the grays that have begun to appear in my eyebrows. (sigh)

    While I don't sport TOO many wrinkles (thanks to little sun and good DNA), I still have them, and most makeup seems to accentuate them. Again :cry Every passing year it gets just a bit worse, and I'm finding myself these days passing by a mirror and wondering - in horror - who in the HECK that is!

    In another life, in another economy where my husband hadn't been downsized in his job and my son hadn't had a brain tumor...I would seriously contemplate "some work."
    To return evil for good is devilish; to return good for good is human; to return good for evil is Divine - Alistair Begg

  7. #137
    Ellie May SugarMama's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Makeup was never important to me - unless I was trying to attract a man Once I got married, it fell by the wayside...until I started approaching 50 Everything changed for my physically! My lips began to disappear, and I had to go from gloss to color - but the "fun" lipsticks I used in my youth looked waxy and fake on me So I've discovered that a tinted lip gloss is what works for me now.

    My eyes...I was well-known for my huge, almond shaped eyes, lashes so long people would ask if they were fake, and they weren't. Bedroom eyes, everyone said. Unfortunately, time stole that beauty also. Now my eyes aren't "bedroom eyes" but more like "mudroom eyes" - for the tired castoffs unworthy of entry into the house. Nothing seems to perk them up anymore. So I just use a brushed on liner, curl those suckers, and put on a light coat of mascara. Anything heavier looks unnatural. Also, I had to admit that while I'm putting mascara on my eyelashes, I also put a bit on the grays that have begun to appear in my eyebrows. (sigh)

    While I don't sport TOO many wrinkles (thanks to little sun and good DNA), I still have them, and most makeup seems to accentuate them. Again Every passing year it gets just a bit worse, and I'm finding myself these days passing by a mirror and wondering - in horror - who in the HECK that is!

    In another life, in another economy where my husband hadn't been downsized in his job and my son hadn't had a brain tumor...I would seriously contemplate "some work."
    To return evil for good is devilish; to return good for good is human; to return good for evil is Divine - Alistair Begg

  8. #138
    I won't forget Cootie's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Spelling - I have worked at a public elementary school in Oregon for 22 years and they do teach spelling. But there are some people who just don't get how to spell no matter how you teach it. My daughter is one of those types. And so were two of her great teachers that she had who were very science oriented. What they did teach her is how to use tools like spell check and dictionaries (I helped with these tasks as well, being her library information skills instructor). I do think that it is difficult for our current kids to know about writing appropriately and spelling when there is so much texting going on. Makes it tricky to keep it clear on what is the right way to write!

    I do think that lots of curriculum that was very central in my learning in the 1960's is skimmed over now. Our current kids are expected to reach certain levels in tests that we never had in those days, so they don't do cursive 30 minutes a day like I did in Catholic school. And really, they aren't taught how to keyboard, either. There is just not time when they teach reading for 90 minutes a day and math for nearly that much.

    We do need to stop expecting schools to teach everything to our kids - their first teachers are their parents when they are infants. Those of us in public schools are often expected to teach many things (like colors, beginning alphabets, numbers) that parents should be talking about to their kids way before they reach age 5. Sorry about the rant, I could go on, but please be aware that we live in a different world than even 20 years ago. Handwriting and spelling are still taught, are important, but don't get as much time as back in the day...

  9. #139
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    Quote Originally Posted by spockwhat View Post
    Dragonlady, my words weren't intended to make anyone feel bad about taking care of themselves... and it's actually a pretty fresh realization for myself personally, so... let's see if it lasts. :p
    Oh, I know you didn't mean it negatively in any way...just stating your thoughts...absolutely nothing wrong with that. I just felt like explaining myself a little more but I didn't take it as having to defend my persepective. We're just "talking" here....like the housewives in the past used to over coffee.
    Our outlook changes as we age and who's to say that even though now I say I won't get plastic surgery, I might. I doubt it but who knows?
    spockwhat and SugarMama like this.

  10. #140
    FORT Fogey Lizard's Avatar
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    Re: Aging - As the Violin, the Wine, & the Silver - We Get Better

    I try different things trying to be as healthy as possible. Later I find they are not so healthy.
    Last edited by Lizard; 01-04-2012 at 11:24 AM.
    You can do it!

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