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Paulie.... no your're not!! Run little turtle, run!
The first bad christmas gift that comes into my mind is the hockey stick my parents and my cousin's parents decided to give to me and my cousin (she's also a girl) when we were about 11. We got one each. We looked at each other in disbelief, and went to play with them as we felt we had to for about 5 min. Then it was sitting in a wardrobe, unused, for some 20 years until my mom asked me if I would be very unhappy if she threw it away....
I collect glass fish and I am pretty picky about which ones. Anyway, I saw some in a catalog and made it a point o show them to my mom. Christmas morning we were all unwrapping presents and I had finished my stack. No fish. I was heartbroken because that was the one thing I specfically asked for.
Meanwhile, I am watching my little sister finish her gifts when lo and behold she unwraps MY fish! I immediately started sputtering but as I was across the room she did not know what was going on. She was exclaming how much she loved them and my mom was shooting me "I'm sorry" eyes so I had to just shut up.
It seems she let my dad do the labeling and there was *obviously* a mix up.
No tears or sympathy necessary, FORT friends, I have the best mom in the world - a couple of weeks later I had my own fish.
Good ones! Keep em coming !
Sweaters are the worst to get but HAND MADE sweaters are the worst of the worst.
You open this "thing" that your colorblind mee-maw has spent countless hours knitting for you and you say thanks and go for another gift UNTIL some a-hole says "hey, why don't ya try it on!"
Oh dear god the horror!
Now you're stuck wearing "the abomination" for the rest of the day.
To this day I can't look at a puff-paint raindeer without feeling all hot and itchy.
Hmmm, ok one more...my parents bought me a "how to surf the world wide web" book about 2 years ago. It's up on the shelf with the "Encyclopedia of Star Wars" I got that same year. I was 32 years old! LOL
My folk are incredibly thoughtful and usually shower me with gifts so it's only natural that they hit one in the rough once in a while.
At a Christmas party last year I got a "car care" package that consisted of a hideous sun shade and a beaded car seat "just like the cab drivers use!" Yep, 2 square yards of carboard and some wooden beads! Score!
We are always getting collections of jams and jellies, sausage and cheese, and crap like that too. Does anyone really like to get gifts you can eat (home made cookies are the exception of course)? It's the modern day version of the fruitcake.
Dear Santa, I have enough damn neckties and giant Hershey Kisses now. Please just leave Home Depot gift certificates this year. Thanks.
HA I like the hockey stick one
That reminds me of the pogo-stick I got when I was about 8 years old. It was from some cheap relative who obviously didn't buy it at a store because we couldn't return it when we pointed out the fact that it had NO SPRING inside it!
Yep, you jumped on it and it collapsed but never sprang back.
Where I come from we have a cute little nickname for pogo sticks with no spring. We call it a "stick". Good thing I also got an Atari2600 that Christmas!
Anything knitted would be bad but not as bad if you don't have to wear it all day. Hats are ok but please hold off on the big puffy ball that usually adorns the top. Scarves are ok, I can always use dishrags
Knited sweaters for cats and dogs are bad too. I can't belive people give gifts to pets, even though I do it too.
My deranged uncle handed me a plastic bag at Christmas one year. It had a pencil, some Chiclets, and a giant bath brush inside. He gave an identical bag to my brother, and he gave my cousins (two girls) a Ouija board to share between them.
I actually liked the bath brush.
When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey
Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5
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...We both just looked at each other when we opened the gifts and were like, "WTF???"...