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Thread: Dumbest SPAM you've ever received

  1. #21
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    Originally posted by holly71
    My name on my e-mail address should be the first hint that I'm a girl!!!!
    Maybe they think you're Buddy Holly.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  2. #22
    COMBAT MISSIONS junkie! BravoFan's Avatar
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    I get so much crap that I periodically delete real mail when I get the delete trigger finger going.
    "They can only edit what you give them. They cannot manufacture a fictional character out of thin air." (Bill Rancic - 4/04)
    Regarding editing reality TV: "You can't edit IN a bad personality." ("Cali"-11/02)
    BB8 - A "conveyor belt of human garbage." ("Pono" - 9/07)

  3. #23
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    I just received the dumbest SPAM I've ever received, and I had to share...I don't know whether to laugh or throw up.

    Let me ask you this...which is worse:

    A. The engine on your Lexus freezes up at 160,000 miles instead of 300,000. You take a financial hit and you are forced to buy a Camry this time.

    B. You start bleeding during bowel movements. You go to the doctor and get poked, prodded, X-ray'd, biopsied, etc. 3 days later you get a call for a consultation. The doctor informs you that you have advanced colon cancer at 45 years old. You have anywhere from 6 months to 5 years left to live. He tells you it's time to get your house in order because you'll be checking out soon. Chemotherapy starts today.

    A friend of mine who was a science and health researcher at the University of Chicago, just died this past year of colon cancer at 42. In the midst of the prime of his life, he said goodbye, and left his wife and child behind, wondering what just hit them.

    Why do you brush your teeth? Are your teeth falling out right now? For most of us, we do it so we won't need false teeth and Fixodent down the road...right? We want to be able to eat apples. Hey, I agree with that. Natural teeth are great.

    But have you ever seen someone who was forced to endure a colonectomy? Someone who now will be spending the rest of their life carrying a bag around?

    Incredibly, this is an area where even the staunchest MD's AGREE with us!! Can you believe it? If they knew you had the greatest colon cleanse in the world, I bet they might even refer people to you. NO, I'm not kidding...

    This subject is not even up for debate. It's a proven fact. The problem is, most people are not doing anything about it. Please don't be one of them.
    dtmtj

    ****WARNING***** The next section of this email contains graphic material which may not be suitable for squeamish individuals.

    Let's talk stools.

    The stool tells you a lot about your colon health. If it's dark brown in color, and it sinks, and it stinks, that's not good. And don't feel bad, that's the way most people are. What you want to see is light brown color, which means it's full of fresh bile from the liver, very mild odor, and a stool that floats. We're talking low-density here folks. The more compaction you have the darker the color and the faster it sinks. Compaction is not good. Also, moving bowels should be SIMPLE. If the veins are popping out of your neck and you feel like your doing the bench press, you NEED to cleanse your colon.

    When you do the cleanse, for the first few days....things are a little weird. But you know you're cleansed when you see the above good stuff happening, and you are eliminating at least 2-3 times per day.

    Cleansing your colon is a 30-day process. No need to change your current diet. Its also very economical at under $52. You may be very surprised at some of the benefits you will receive besides just losing 1-5 lbs of cr*p from your body and brightening your future health.

    People have reported more energy, less allergies, clearing of acne, cessation of migraines, and many other results, not to mention restored regularity. When your body is void of old, poisonous toxins that are constantly being reabsorbed through the colon walls, it can begin to heal again. And when the colon walls are clean, the good nutrients from your food and supplements can be absorbed again. You will be thrilled with the results.

    At this point you are either nauseated thinking about what is inside your own colon, or you're ready to do something about cleaning it out.

    Want more info? Click here and I'll send it to you, including instructions on how to take it. It is private, all natural, totally safe, inexpensive, and very effective. And yes, I have taken it myself.

    Currently available only in the U.S. and Canada.
    Delivered in non-descript packaging.
    Seeking Distributors to meet high demand.

  4. #24
    Glad 4 Vlad! :) Tigrazhia's Avatar
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    LOL ... um ... ew?

    Trading in your Lexus vs. having colon cancer?? um ....
    Yeah ...

    Glad they had time to study a lot so they could provide accurate descriptions too ... must've spent a lot of time by the toilet bowl.
    "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."

  5. #25
    lol_its_fun
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    My hotmail account always is full of spams...don't know why..but these days I don't check it in front of other people because there are always tons of spams like:

    1. Want to join orgy!!

    2. I love you ( and is from Alex....hmmm Okay thanks for your passion but I am not gay )

    3. Re: your order ( hmm... did I order anything?):

    4. I want to cheat on my husband ( hehe thank for telling me)

    5. Horny babes

    By the way, i now use yahoo because Yahoo is more secure and far less spams compared to Hotmail.
    Last edited by lol_its_fun; 04-28-2003 at 05:16 PM.

  6. #26
    You don't say! Snowbie's Avatar
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    Same here. I use my hotmail for when I sign up for things and only have friends and family use my yahoo account. I check my hotmail about once a day and I'll have one or two messages in my inbox and close to 200 in my junk bin. If I don't check it over the weekend it's well over 500.

  7. #27
    You don't say! Snowbie's Avatar
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    I had to sign my mom up for a yahoo account because I was sick of sending her emails and getting a delivery failure notification because the junk email was using most of her memory. Plus, with yahoo you get twice as much memory compared to hotmail. When I used my hotmail, there were times where I wouldn't be able to forward a picture because I had a limit on the memory I could use to send an attachment. The downfall of free email.

  8. #28
    Premium Member glennajo's Avatar
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    Just FYI. I was getting tons of porn emails in my bulk mail, and it was really embarrassing when people were around. I kept opening them to try to get my name off of them, but the more I opened, the more I seemed to get.:

    Anyway, I found out that the people who send those emails put those unsubscribe messages at the bottom so that you will re: with an "unsubscribe me" email. When they get your re:, they up the amount that they send you because they see that your account is active.

    I was told just to keep deleting without opening any of them, so I tried it and (it took several weeks) but,finally I've stopped getting them alltogether.

    Like I said, just FYI in case you were wondering what to do.

  9. #29
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Yes, you should NEVER respond to spam in any way. They must remove you if you request it, but then they know they've got a human who actually reads their messages, and boom, your name gets put on every list from here to Timbuktu.

    They seriously send their mails to to 100 million e-mail addresses, and most of them bounce, and those that don't, if they can get 100 people to respond in some way, they make their money back.

  10. #30
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    I get lots of penis enlargement emails (being a girl I don't think that is possible). My favorite was titled "Dagny, giver her something bigger for Christmas".

    The dumbest I have gotten came today. "Look at our Russian brides"
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

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