FOX Network Better Have My Money

[phat32]

...for stealing my idea for Mr. Personality, the show they promoted tonight during Married by America. Everyone catch this? One beautiful woman surrounded by 20 eligible bachelors. Here's the catch: They're wearing masks, so she can't see what they look like. She's forced to choose based on "personality."

Um, didn't I suggest something similar?

[From my post in "Fox Ponders Doing Another Joe Millionaire"]

Shayla, Paulie, cali--

Thanks for the kind words.

While sitting here reading these posts, it just occurred to me--in a very horrible way--how Fox could accomplish "JM2":

They bring together 20 eligible bachelors and are told that the woman they're about to meet is very wealthy.

Here's the kicker--she's not what one may call "attractive". But she really IS wealthy.

The men have the option of staying or going. Maybe they even vote each other out, a la "Love Cruise".

Now, what's the twist? I don't know. This is why I'm not a Fox executive.

They could call it "Jill Pretty Good Personality", though."

So it's not exactly like mine. But it's close enough for horseshoes, government work, and producing Fox television.

[Paulie]

They should at least send you a cheese sampler or something. They obviously lifted the idea from you.

[Shayla]

How do we know phat isn't actually a FOX TV exec? Hmmm...
*taps fingers*
I wouldn't put it past him.

Seriously, his ghettospeak places him in a metropolis, perhaps L.A., and his taste for marshmallow peeps indicates that he is coated on the interior with a thick layer of food coloring, the sheer amount of which is likely to cause the kind of off-kilter neural activity one would expect from a FOX bigwig.

I think we've found our mole!

[nlmcp]

I think you should just go get your money Phat...that sounds like your show to me.

But a cheese sampler is a nice idea too.

[StevieM]

at all the posts.......

[cali]

You guys are too funny.

Phat... yes that was your idea! I remember it well.

shayla... I think you're on to something....

Paulie.... cheese from the cheesiest network, they have plenty, and they could easily spare a sampler!

[hazyshadeof]

I think they probably thought you were dead Phat, and didn't have to worry about copyright infringement. After all you are a 90 year old Chinese woman.

[cali]

[phat32]

Paulie,

Big bags of unmarked bills would be preferable, but I'll take the cheese sampler.

Shayla,

I always thought what made me a Peep was my sweet nature and the fact you couldn't get rid of me. :bats eyelashes:

nlmcp,

If you could write them an email to just leave a briefcase of money on their front doorstep, I'll be by later to pick it up.

([Dramatic pause.] "...one million dollars!")

cali (Or, should I say, "Plaintiff's Witness #1"?)

Thanks.

hazy,

For the last time, I am not...oh, never mind.

[phat32]

Now, I've got a Plan A. I call it Operation Raise-a-Big-Stink-and-Sue. (Catchy, no?)

In the next week, expect to see me on your FOX affiliate:

Anchor: "...and in News of the Weird, a reality-tv show fan is actually suing 20th Century Fox Television, Rupert Murdoch and the Rotary Club, claiming the Rotary Club is, I quote, 'behind it all.'"

Me [on camera]: "Oh, that's right! Fox just can't handle the truth! Who came up with Mr. Personality? Me! So give me a call, Johnny Cochrane! If I'm going down, Fox is going down with me! King King ain't got nuthin' on me! I'm going to name names! (Can I get a shout-out to all my friends on the FoRT?) If you work in TV, call me. I got a million ideas, NBC. Five words: Law and Order: Library Policeman. And that's just for starters. Hey, where you goin' with that camera? Get back here, I'm not through with you! What? Get your [bleep] hands off me! Don't touch me, you [bleep]! [One long bleep, screen becomes static.]

Tomorrow's scrolling headline on Fox Cable News: "Sad, unstable man sues Fox television. 'Brother's trippin',' Alan Greenspan says."

...And you can all be proud I've represented the FoRT so well.