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Thread: Why I Need Therapy

  1. #21
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    Re: Why I Need Therapy

    Rattus I just sort of stumbled in here but you have emotionally brought me to my knees. I lost both parents to a drunk driver when I was 17 and as horrifying as that may seem, I was lucky enough to have others in my life to pick up the pieces. I appreciate everyone who has shared their struggles and take comfort in knowing that you all are here.

  2. #22
    FORT Fogey Bonbonlover's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Need Therapy

    Burntbrat .... I too have a father whom I haven't spoken to in years... I last saw or spoke to him 16 years ago when I got married... before that it had been 10... God only knows why he showed up and wanted to walk me down the isle... but whatever I thought maybe it was the beginning of something... I haven't seen or talked to him since. He has never met my 4 children .. (yah try to explain that to a child) . He has contacted my brothers occasionally, but never me. No one has ever known his phone number, as a child we always called him at work. Yah I also wonder if, at the time, I will go to his funeral???

    The funny thing is, I don't know why he never liked me. We were always cordial to each other...
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  3. #23
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Need Therapy

    Have not seen nor spoken to my father since the late 1970's. Won't go to the funeral either.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  4. #24
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Need Therapy

    burnbrat, bonbonlover, gabriel:

    I am so sorry that you are not close with your fathers, and they have chosen not to be part of your lives and vice versa.

    My Dad is my rock. I love him more than anything. Everyone just loves my Dad and says how special a man he is. I don't know what I'd do without him.
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

  5. #25
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Need Therapy

    I have a few friends who were abandoned by their fathers, but they still went to their funerals. I'm not sure that I would've under those circumstances, but for whatever reason, my friends needed to go. I guess it helped them grieve for the fact that they didn't have a parent growing up, too. I asked one of my friends why he went--even after his dad had treated his mom so horribly and had no contact in the kids' lives for most of his life--and he said, "He's my father." He said even though his father wasn't much of a dad to him, he still thinks about him every day. Wow.

  6. #26
    Wild thang Rattus's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Need Therapy

    It will probably come as no surprise, but I have absolutely no intention of attending my father's funeral when the time comes, either, much as I didn't attend my mother's. In fact, hard-hearted and flippant though this may sound, my sister and I had always planned to go to Bymark (a pricey local restaurant that serves $35 kobe burgers and rosemary onion rings) when we found out for certain he was dead. On her part, she just plain hates him. On my part, the sheer relief knowing I can answer the phone or the door and not have it be him would brighten my life immensely. Unfortunately, my sister and I are no longer in contact, so I'm afraid I will have to forgo the kobe burger, but still and all, I will still have the relief.
    All I wanted was a 45, a stinking 45 - the record or the gun. I'd even settle for the damn malt liquor. - Al Bundy.

  7. #27
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Need Therapy

    I think you should still go and have that delicious kobe burger yourself or with a friend!

  8. #28
    MRD
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    Re: Why I Need Therapy

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2705567;
    I have a few friends who were abandoned by their fathers, but they still went to their funerals. I'm not sure that I would've under those circumstances, but for whatever reason, my friends needed to go. I guess it helped them grieve for the fact that they didn't have a parent growing up, too. I asked one of my friends why he went--even after his dad had treated his mom so horribly and had no contact in the kids' lives for most of his life--and he said, "He's my father." He said even though his father wasn't much of a dad to him, he still thinks about him every day. Wow.
    I have one friend that went because she said she wanted to make darn sure he was really dead.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  9. #29
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Need Therapy

    I don't think I would even try to find my father let alone attend his funeral. I guess for all I know he is already gone. I actually chose not to do an obituary for my mom when she passed because I feared he might try to work his way into my life after 20plus years since she was gone. I applaud all who work past their parents not being parents because it gives me strength to know I can do anything regardless of where I come from.
    Yup, with donuts!!

  10. #30
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Need Therapy

    Quote Originally Posted by misskitty;2705564;
    burnbrat, bonbonlover, gabriel:

    I am so sorry that you are not close with your fathers, and they have chosen not to be part of your lives and vice versa.

    My Dad is my rock. I love him more than anything. Everyone just loves my Dad and says how special a man he is. I don't know what I'd do without him.
    misskitty - Thanks for your kind words, but I am not sorry because the man after us kids grew up and could talk back, became a mean mean person to us.

    He is a liar, thief and wife abuser. The only reason his second wife is probably still with him is because he is old and she was just as mean and would hit him back. I have no use for people like that, and my sister turned out just like him. Steal from you and lie to your face how much they love you and miss you etc etc.

    I am very happy for people like you that have parents that are a rock.

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2705653;
    I have one friend that went because she said she wanted to make darn sure he was really dead.

    I know several people that went to either a father or mothers funeral for the same reasons.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

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