My Morning with the Telemarketer

[Paulie]

Yeah, Cali! Great job with that stupid clown! Wouldn't it have been funny if she said, "Aha! You've provided the secret code. Of course we can set you up with your 0%, no minimum cards. Well done!"

I hang up on the 2-second delay, too, which means I occasionally hang up on legitimate long-distance callers who were yawning or taking a drink.

Hell, most of the time, we don't even answer the phone. The answering machine is our bouncer.

[cali]

My machine picks up on ring 4. My dog howls after three. I mean HOWLS. I have no idea why.

[John]

I hang up on the 2-second delay, too, although since I've started getting call-backs from my business associates I hang up on accidentally, I usually wait until I hear "Hello??" because no one who legitimately calls me says "hello?" - they just launch into their problem.

[phat32]

cali,

Good story, and you told it well.

We have "Privacy Protector" on our home phone. Basically, it blocks any call that won't transmit its caller ID (ie 99 percent of all telemarketer calls). In the six months we've had it, I think we've had one telemarketer.

Check with your local Baby Bell. Worth the price!

phat32*

(*And for all my ranting at the universe, you may be surprised to learn that telemarketers and door-to-door people don't bother me all that much. I once went through this period where I wasn't working nor going to school ie my mid-20's, and I was sitting around in a robe, unshaven. Not good. Anyway, these Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door, and since I hadn't had any human contact like in two weeks, I was absolutely thrilled to see them. After declining my invitation to come in for a glass of water and to take a load off, I never saw Jehovah's Witnesses run away so fast. Note for the future: If you want to get rid of people preaching at you from the doorstep, do the opposite of what they expect and be nice to them.)

[Mdrio9]

My house has caller id, so telemarketers usually come up as "unkown name" or "out of area." I just don't pick up. If it is someone worthwhile, then they start to leave a message. Then, I'll pick it up.

My friend once convinced a telemarketer that his mom spoke Russian or something like that, and they actually got someone who spoke that language! He hung up on them, though.

[kuifje75]

I use a TTY, and I also have a caller ID. When I get a phone call, sometimes it is hard to use caller ID because sometimes the Relay Centre will come up as unlisted or out of area. So, sometimes I answer the phone on the TTY, only to get no answer. Then I just use the voice announcer to inform them that TTY is used. It is irritating. ugh...

[raindance]

Cali! I'd love to try something like that sometime.

The naughtiest thing I've ever did was to say something like 'I'm not in the position to make that decision.' Tell the person to call back later and look for some one that doesn't exist.

There are some funny ideas in this website - www.funny2.com/telemarketers.htm

[Rox]

My machine picks up on ring 4. My dog howls after three. I mean HOWLS.

funny story and funny . Thanks Cali, needed that.

[nlmcp]

Depending on my mood, I will sometimes pick up and then tell the telemarketer that the person they are asking for is dead.

Most of the time I just let the machine answer.

[cali]

I could never say that person was dead, I'd feel like it was tempting fate somehow

I have said I wasn't home. Stupid really as they just call back.