Last Meal

[Shayla]

kuifje75, when Iron Chef Marimoto is finished preparing your sushi, I'd like him to visit my last meal. Though, I saw him recently on a sea bass episode and he seemed to sweat quite a bit during the challenge. I wouldn't want to watch my chef sweat.

Let me shift the topic to something more appetizing than sweat, unless we're speaking of Pocari Sweat (tm), which is a Japanese Gatorade...*looks it up* http://www.noapologiespress.com/pres...nk/pocari.html

OK, this is reportedly not tasty either.

Moving right along...
Like Ignatius, I'm also skinny but love food. I probably have a tapeworm (wow, my post is not likely to be an aphrodisiac, like the rest--maybe I should start over).

[Shayla]

My last meal:

1) strong wasabi with a few nori rolls (avocado, tuna, and sesame seeds?); several eel pieces (unaaaaagi) and yellowtail.

2) a small cup of miso soup with udon noodles, daikon radish, seaweed, and assorted veggies

3) a slice of homemade pizza (perhaps with portabello and chanterelle mushrooms, fresh tomato slices)

4) a piece of freshly-caught Oregon salmon, grilled and drizzled with a lemon wedge

5) fresh purple figs

6) those chewy glutinous rice desserts with mung bean paste in them

Drinks, interspersed with the above:

a shot of good scotch, a mocha porter, a spicy chai, a hot chocolate, a refreshing herbal iced tea to help me down this odd combination of food....

I would like to prepare the food together with my family and friends and then say goodbye to all of them so as to engage in all kinds of wild and crazy spontaneous acts to which I wouldn't want my family to be privy.

Oh, can I also have breakfast in the morning? If so, fruit crepes and belgian waffles and fresh-pressed apple juice....

[Shayla]

I just remembered something...
I once took an edible flower cooking class. That food made us all lusty. Fresh rose petals. Fresh pastas with purple flowers blended in. Day lily soup.

I would like my Last Meal Chef to view "Like Water for Chocolate" for inspiration.

[sher]

spinich artichoke dip with baked bow tie pasta from copeland's
lobster bisque from three forks
tortilla soup from the mansion
lobster with tons and tons of lemon and melted butter (keep it coming)
filet of sole from lombardi mare
the rolls from the black eyed pea
buttermilk biscuits from copeland's

for dessert, my mom's pralines, a bag of reese's peanut butter cups, a slice of banana cream cheesecake from the cheesecake factory, the cream cheese icing from a homemade carrot cake, strawberry cake from celebrity bakery, red velvet cake from stein's

and an endless supply of champagne... dom and cristal.

i wouldn't prepare anything...

i would have company for my meal. my closest friends and people i love.

playing in the background would be some eva cassidy, sting, paul mccartney... music you can easily talk over. really relaxing.

it would be right at dusk with lots of candles... not dark at all. just dim. we would eat outside with a view of the mountains in the distance.

[phat32]

It would be held in the foyer of the Taj Mahal. (The one in Atlantic City, not India, silly.)

I'd have the troupe from Cirque du Soleil performing at the same time as all the ladiez from Olympic Gardens Men's Club in Vegas.

My family would be invited, of course, but I don't think they'd come when they hear the plans. (We can always have a nice quiet dinner at Olive Garden the night before. Salads and breadsticks are all-you-can-eat, you know.)

All my best male friends would be invited: the ones who have made me laugh, the ones who have made me think, the ones who have stood side-by-side with me in every ginjoint from San Francisco to London, throwing up our guts.

All my best female friends would be invited: the ones who have provided a shoulder, the ones who have provided a bed, the ones who have pressed charges.

An 80-foot screen will be playing movies behind me at all times. The movies will be custom-made for the occasion by auteur John Woo.

M. Night Shyamalan will do the interior decorations.

Appetizers will consist of: quail, Chinese sizzling rice soup, and enough California roll sushi to choke a small horse.

Main course will consist of: shrimp in any guise, filet mignon (medium rare only; anyone asking for it another way will be shot on the spot), and a roast suckling pig.

Dessert will be cherries jubilee (after a nice sorbet to cleanse the palate, of course).

Cigars will be passed out liberally, $50 bills blown out of air ducts, and any liquor imaginable will be available. I will sip the tears of my enemies from crystal goblets.

And afterward, when the festivities are spent, I will drift away on a haze of morphine so when the pezzonovantes come for me, as I'm sure they will if I'm dying, I'll be visiting Xanadu while they haul me off to the firing range.

(Close your mouths, folks. My mother always told me you collected flies that way.)

[SnowflakeGirl]

Um, yeah, that was totally MY response until Phat stole it from my mind. (Sweet with the Bosch reference, I am in the Garden of Earthly Delight! And the Woo films all have to be of you in slow motion in a flowing leather jacket in a church with pigeons.)

My goodness, the responses to this thread have gotten increasingly baroque, what with Shay's voluptuous Bacchanalia and Sher's sophisticated fete! *she says looking with shame down at her Hot Pocket*

[sher]

Originally posted by SnowflakeGirl
My goodness, the responses to this thread have gotten increasingly baroque, what with Shay's voluptuous Bacchanalia and Sher's sophisticated fete! *she says looking with shame down at her Hot Pocket*

snow, i had a turkey sandwich, plain and dry, on sugar free bread for lunch.

[Shayla]

Wow, this site attracts such witty and hilarious people.

I think all of us on this thread should form a secret society of food-worshipers. I want to sample everything, even Snowflake's Hot Pockets!

...That doesn't sound proper.

OK, I don't want to sample the tears of phat's enemies, but I would like to be a fly on that glittery casino wall, or a pigeon.

I want to pretend to be Sher's long-lost sister at her last meal. Yum.

[SnowflakeGirl]

Originally posted by Shersidhe
[B]snow, i had a turkey sandwich, plain and dry, on sugar free bread for lunch.[B]

Yes, sometimes the contrast between the epicurian fantasy and reality can be quite jolting.

Originally posted by Shayla
I want to sample everything, even Snowflake's Hot Pockets!
...That doesn't sound proper.

Yet again, this thread takes another digression, and this time for the lewd!
BTW, that flower cooking class sounds amazing!

[sher]

this thread have me laughing so hard! shayla and snow, you guys are cracking me up!!

and both of you are welcome at my imaginary meal.