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Thread: Etiquette Questions

  1. #71
    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by doxie;2818171;
    \Macy's horrified me by sending me little personalized stickers that said "Doxie is registered at Macy's" which they suggested that I stick on to any shower or wedding invitations.
    Yes, this is what I'm talking about. The wedding industry thought it would be a great idea, and I'm sure it is to them! There are plenty of people who just assume it must be the standard thing to do if it's a pre-printed card or sticker.

    That's interesting they taught it in school, Nemeses. I can't see that happening today. I have a Girl Scout troop and we've done a manners badge - mostly because of cookie selling. It sounds so stuffy to have elementary school kids work on manners, but it was one of their favorite badges. They did a lot of role playing, how to talk to customers, how to send them away with a good feeling about Girl Scouts. We made stationery and wrote thank-you notes to someone who had donated some money to our troop.
    Last edited by hepcat; 02-29-2008 at 10:43 AM.
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  2. #72
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Nemeses;2818341;
    You know, I'm so grateful for this thread. For several years now, I've been lamenting the lack of courtesy and manners that's so absent in most of society nowadays, so it's nice to be able to speak with others who feel the same way, and to know ettiquette is still alive with some. This is my 'feel-good' thread at FoRT now, for that reason.

    When I was a young girl in school, in the south, ettiquette was taught in school as part of my English class. It was in junior high school, so was around 7th or 8th grade. For one day a week in that class, we'd concentrate on social ettiquette, which included how to write a proper invitation, how to write a proper thank you note, and when to do it. It also included how to be a courteous party host (taking needs of invited guests into account, and when to allow "and a guest" and how to get invitees to follow your wishes as stated on the invites), and how to be a courteous party/event guest (following the protocols set out in an invitation, the issue of "bringing a guest", proper gifting protocols, etc.). All the students in the class learned these things, the guys and the girls. Because all students in the English classes had to learn these things, the guys didn't make a big deal out of it, it was another part of the lessons they needed to pass in order to get a good grade in English that semester.

    I enjoyed that class, and I wish social etiquette was taught in some form in school today, as well, even if only for a semester as part of an English class. But I fear that today's kids are becoming too narcissistic and/or selfish to learn the lessons of etiquette, since it involves doing something for someone other than themselves. And tv commercials and shows seem to encourage that theme of selfishness and entitlement, as do merchants. I wish today's youth could understand the feeling of pride and self-satisfaction you get from proper manners and etiquette. And as someone else above mentioned, how stronger an impression they make when you send a 'thank you note' to someone you've just interviewed for a job with. And how lovely an event is when both the host and the guests follow the plan and a thank you note is sent when it's over.

    Etiquette and good manners will never be out of style, and I sure hope it will never be out of use, as well.


    ~~~~
    It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanisms of friendship. --Colette, The Pure and the Impure, 1932

    One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. -- Josh Billings, US Humorist (1818 - 1885)

    Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back. -- Thomas Sowell, Creators Syndicate

    Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. -- Clarence Thomas, US administrator & lawyer (1948 - )

    Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve. Run around with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened. -- Stanley Walker
    Great post. I wholeheartedly agree. Maybe we could all band together and teach an online etiquette and manners course.
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  3. #73
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Well here's a new one. I just got the invitation to my neice's wedding today. It's very nice and its a very traditionally worded invitation until the last line:

    Please RSVP by March 9, 2008 to: email address.

    I have never seen a wedding invitation with an email address for the RSVP. There is no phone number or reply card or anything.

    I mean, it makes it easier I suppose and people will probably take the time to email rather than send the reply card. But this is a first for me.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
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  4. #74
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2819065;
    I mean, it makes it easier I suppose and people will probably take the time to email rather than send the reply card. But this is a first for me.
    I don't know--I wonder if they will bother to email her back. Lazy people who are too lazy to check off a response card and stick it in a pre-addressed and stamped envelope aren't likely to punch in an email address to answer either, I don't think. It'd be interesting to see what happens!

  5. #75
    Kanai Nemeses's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2819103;
    I don't know--I wonder if they will bother to email her back. Lazy people who are too lazy to check off a response card and stick it in a pre-addressed and stamped envelope aren't likely to punch in an email address to answer either, I don't think. It'd be interesting to see what happens!
    Funny timing on that one, mrd... today in the mail I received an invitation to a wedding, and on the bottom was preprinted this:

    "Please RSVT by March 9, 2008 to Denise at her mobile number of xxx-xxx-xxxx". (it listed her cell phone number there). Well that was a new one for me, I had no idea what a 'RSVT' was, so I assumed it was a printer's typo for RSVP. I happened to see Denise about an hour ago and so I just gave her my RSVP then in person. Whoa, big mistake, I guess. This Denise isn't a close friend, she's someone I employ on occasion when I have an event that utilizes her specialty. Instead of noting my response to her RSVP, she said "oh no, could you please send it to my number instead, because I'll forget if you just tell me." Okay... a bit odd, I thought, but whatever... so I said, sure, I'll do that before the day is over. She reminded me to RSVT it to her cell number, that this was the only way they were accepting replies to the invitation. Another friend who overheard the conversation attempted to correct her, and said "you mean RSVP, right?", and she got a bit huffy and said "no, I mean RSVT" which prompted my other friend to ask what that meant.

    Turns out that it wasn't a typo, Denise wanted everyone to text message their reply to her cell phone, so RSVT meant Reply Soon Via Text. She said their wedding planner suggested it and said it's the new method of guests replying to an invitation. So if you ever receive an invitation with RSVT instead of RSVP, you now know what it means. Where's the rolling eyes smilie when you need it?

    Forgive me if I think that's a bit too silly for words... er, excuse me, a bit too silly for text, I mean.

    Why do I somehow think that someone like that probably thinks that RSVP means Reply Soon Via Post? I think some people have forgotten how to do anything if it doesn't involve a computer or cell phone.
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  6. #76
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Nemeses;2819124;
    Funny timing on that one, mrd... today in the mail I received an invitation to a wedding, and on the bottom was preprinted this:

    "Please RSVT by March 9, 2008 to Denise at her mobile number of xxx-xxx-xxxx". (it listed her cell phone number there). Well that was a new one for me, I had no idea what a 'RSVT' was, so I assumed it was a printer's typo for RSVP. I happened to see Denise about an hour ago and so I just gave her my RSVP then in person. Whoa, big mistake, I guess. This Denise isn't a close friend, she's someone I employ on occasion when I have an event that utilizes her specialty. Instead of noting my response to her RSVP, she said "oh no, could you please send it to my number instead, because I'll forget if you just tell me." Okay... a bit odd, I thought, but whatever... so I said, sure, I'll do that before the day is over. She reminded me to RSVT it to her cell number, that this was the only way they were accepting replies to the invitation. Another friend who overheard the conversation attempted to correct her, and said "you mean RSVP, right?", and she got a bit huffy and said "no, I mean RSVT" which prompted my other friend to ask what that meant.

    Turns out that it wasn't a typo, Denise wanted everyone to text message their reply to her cell phone, so RSVT meant Reply Soon Via Text. She said their wedding planner suggested it and said it's the new method of guests replying to an invitation. So if you ever receive an invitation with RSVT instead of RSVP, you now know what it means. Where's the rolling eyes smilie when you need it?

    Forgive me if I think that's a bit too silly for words... er, excuse me, a bit too silly for text, I mean.

    Why do I somehow think that someone like that probably thinks that RSVP means Reply Soon Via Post? I think some people have forgotten how to do anything if it doesn't involve a computer or cell phone.
    I'm sorry but this has me
    RSVT: reply soon via text. Oh my.

    The world certainly is changing. And I'm just too old fashioned to change with it. I swear I used to get so angry at my parents for being so old fashioned and I'm the same way. But I guess I am prepared if I ever get invited to have tea with the Queen.

    So I guess if I were to put Répondez s'il vous plaît instead of RSVP on any future invitations, no one is going to know what I mean? (I'm amazed at the wedding planner for suggesting this to be honest.)

    Well 2 years ago a friend of mine got married in Vegas. For those of us that couldnt' be there, we could lot on and watch it on the internet. Yep, times have changed!
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  7. #77
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Répondez s'il vous plaît",

    RSVT - - - *** RSVT Reservation Table
    * RSVT Re-entrant Supraventricular Tachycardia


    Sorry can't find respond soon via text -- BUZZZZZZ! you're out!
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  8. #78
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Ha, Gabriel, I think we posted at the same time.

    That is one of the few French phrases I actually know.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  9. #79
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    heh heh we did! -- That and OUI OUI... about all I know...
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  10. #80
    Kanai Nemeses's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2819178;
    So I guess if I were to put Répondez s'il vous plaît instead of RSVP on any future invitations, no one is going to know what I mean? (I'm amazed at the wedding planner for suggesting this to be honest.)
    Oh, I'm so with you in your amazement at the wedding planner, mrd! Admittedly an assumption on my part, but for some reason I envision that wedding planner as one of those types who makes stuff up as he goes (it was a guy) just so he can sound hip, cool, fashionable, trendy, whatever the proper term is nowadays. And then his clients, not wanting to sound old-fashioned probably all just nod and act as if of course they knew that! Denise would be just the type of person who'd fall for that, too. And then for that to be "the only way" they'll accept replies is just too ridiculous for words.

    As for the Répondez s'il vous plaît (instead of just putting the RSVP) on an invitation, I'd bet you dollars to a donut that very few people even know that's the literal translation of RSVP. Everyone I've ever talked to about it (other than those etiquette classes in junior high school English) always thinks it means Reply Soon Via Phone.

    I worship you for actually knowing the original phrase, mrd.
    I live in my own world. But it's ok, they know me there.
    Kid Nation... a sad day for society when the exploitation of children becomes acceptable entertainment for television viewers.
    "Online communities, like the Fort, are very snarky and borderline cynical when it comes to celebrities and their shenanigans." -- Leo, FoRT Writer

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