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Thread: Etiquette Questions

  1. #601
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by buglover;3179767;
    My husband's family is like that..... they go even further, they don't even call, they just show up!
    That would drive me crazy. I'm fine with having people over or having them spend the night if they need/want to but CALL first so that I have time to clean, get groceries and be dressed when you arrive! Mr. Lane and I don't have kids so we're not always up early and dressed on weekends!

  2. #602
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Or they say they are coming to another family member who ends up calling us, we prepare for their visit i.e. clean, cook, etc. and they end up not showing up and not calling at all.
    Yup, with donuts!!

  3. #603
    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Livin4 -- Ditch the bitch! If she's really interested in a friendship with you, she'll learn not to consider you as the "second string friend on the bench that I can call in when I need to." Otherwise, is she really worth it?
    "There's no crying in baseball!"
    -- Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own

  4. #604
    FORT Fogey livin4reality's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    So I told her yesterday (phone call) that Saturday would not work for us. She didn't ask for any details which tells me she is feeling defensive. Then went on to make a comment that she probably wouldn't be able to find a sitter on a holiday weekend anyway (a subtle way of telling me that having an adults only evening is outta line for me to request) She will most likely call again in a week or so at which point I will be much too busy to chat.

    Holy crap. I can't believe I forgot this. When I told her about my last dr. visit and how doc was so happy I quit smoking and had lost a pound she said: "I was so worried you would gain weight. You certainly don't need that!" I replied: "At this point, quitting smoking is my priority and I don't care how much weight I gain. I'm just happy to have my lungs back" What a witchy thing to say.

    People dropping in really irks me. I like to lounge around in my PJ's. DH's family was really bad about that and we finally had to straight out tell them to call first.
    Last edited by livin4reality; 08-28-2008 at 10:30 AM. Reason: add
    I very much believe in rescuing animals, not buying them.

    Candice Bergen, on finding her dog, Lois, a terrier/basset hound mix

  5. #605
    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by livin4reality;3180255;
    . . . a subtle way of telling me that having an adults only evening is outta line for me to request . . . When I told her about my last dr. visit and how doc was so happy I quit smoking and had lost a pound she said: "I was so worried you would gain weight. You certainly don't need that!" . . . What a witchy thing to say. . .
    And you need/want her in your life why?
    Kudos ahead on your being too busy (maintaining your boundaries and nurturing your sanity and general well-being!) to deal with her next time she calls!
    "There's no crying in baseball!"
    -- Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own

  6. #606
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    My friends all know my weirdness. I have issues leaving the house sometimes, just social anxiety, and they know to call ahead at least a week if they want me to meet them somewhere or I'll freak out and say I'm too busy even if I'm not. My really good friends never hound me about it, they just know it's nothing personal, it's something inside of me. My best friend will call and say, have a glass or two of wine and I'll be there to pick you up in an hour. If you have nothing to wear, we'll stay at your house and have dinner brought in. Most of my semi-friends just get irritated with me and end up not talking to me even after I explain my situation.
    Yup, with donuts!!

  7. #607
    MRD
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    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by buglover;3180937;
    My friends all know my weirdness. I have issues leaving the house sometimes, just social anxiety, and they know to call ahead at least a week if they want me to meet them somewhere or I'll freak out and say I'm too busy even if I'm not. My really good friends never hound me about it, they just know it's nothing personal, it's something inside of me. My best friend will call and say, have a glass or two of wine and I'll be there to pick you up in an hour. If you have nothing to wear, we'll stay at your house and have dinner brought in. Most of my semi-friends just get irritated with me and end up not talking to me even after I explain my situation.
    Don't you love having friends like that that are so understanding? When I was going through a rough patch a few years ago with anxiety and fibromyalgia, I had a friend that would call and say: "I got coffee and donuts and I'm coming over". I didn't mind her coming over and many times she saved my sanity. Often she would talk me out of the house and I was glad for it as I felt good getting out.

    Now I have a friend who will not take No for an answer. My other friends were always good about when I would say no. But she isn't. So I just don't bother answering her call if I don't feel like meeting her. She begs. I hate begging. I also have to have a good excuse about not wanting to go anywhere as no is just not suffient and no, I don't feel good isn't either.
    I like her company, but I dont' want to be begged when I've just said I don't feel well, maybe another time.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  8. #608
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I hear ya mrd. It's difficult when people act like that, trying to force you out. If you don't feel well, it makes it so much worse to try to be friendly and go out with a friend when all you want to do is stay home and try to forget the pain.

    Yup, with donuts!!

  9. #609
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Please continue the discussion about anxiety, etc. here:

    FORT Koffee Klatch

  10. #610
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    livin-get that freak out of your life (if you want to). I've decided to go through my friends like I go through my clothes. If it don't fit, give it the heave ho!

    It's nice to know that other people get anxiety attacks, too. I have been blessed by not having one for several years, but I keep a paper bag by my driver seat just in case. And I do look funny while I'm blowing in the bag!!

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