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That would drive me crazy. I'm fine with having people over or having them spend the night if they need/want to but CALL first so that I have time to clean, get groceries and be dressed when you arrive!Originally Posted by buglover;3179767;
Mr. Lane and I don't have kids so we're not always up early and dressed on weekends!
Livin4 -- Ditch the bitch! If she's really interested in a friendship with you, she'll learn not to consider you as the "second string friend on the bench that I can call in when I need to." Otherwise, is she really worth it?
So I told her yesterday (phone call) that Saturday would not work for us. She didn't ask for any details which tells me she is feeling defensive. Then went on to make a comment that she probably wouldn't be able to find a sitter on a holiday weekend anyway (a subtle way of telling me that having an adults only evening is outta line for me to request) She will most likely call again in a week or so at which point I will be much too busy to chat.
Holy crap. I can't believe I forgot this. When I told her about my last dr. visit and how doc was so happy I quit smoking and had lost a pound she said: "I was so worried you would gain weight. You certainly don't need that!" I replied: "At this point, quitting smoking is my priority and I don't care how much weight I gain. I'm just happy to have my lungs back" What a witchy thing to say.
People dropping in really irks me. I like to lounge around in my PJ's. DH's family was really bad about that and we finally had to straight out tell them to call first.
And you need/want her in your life why?
Kudos ahead on your being too busy (maintaining your boundaries and nurturing your sanity and general well-being!) to deal with her next time she calls!
My friends all know my weirdness. I have issues leaving the house sometimes, just social anxiety, and they know to call ahead at least a week if they want me to meet them somewhere or I'll freak out and say I'm too busy even if I'm not. My really good friends never hound me about it, they just know it's nothing personal, it's something inside of me. My best friend will call and say, have a glass or two of wine and I'll be there to pick you up in an hour. If you have nothing to wear, we'll stay at your house and have dinner brought in. Most of my semi-friends just get irritated with me and end up not talking to me even after I explain my situation.
Don't you love having friends like that that are so understanding? When I was going through a rough patch a few years ago with anxiety and fibromyalgia, I had a friend that would call and say: "I got coffee and donuts and I'm coming over". I didn't mind her coming over and many times she saved my sanity. Often she would talk me out of the house and I was glad for it as I felt good getting out.
Now I have a friend who will not take No for an answer. My other friends were always good about when I would say no. But she isn't. So I just don't bother answering her call if I don't feel like meeting her. She begs. I hate begging. I also have to have a good excuse about not wanting to go anywhere as no is just not suffient and no, I don't feel good isn't either.
I like her company, but I dont' want to be begged when I've just said I don't feel well, maybe another time.
I hear ya mrd. It's difficult when people act like that, trying to force you out. If you don't feel well, it makes it so much worse to try to be friendly and go out with a friend when all you want to do is stay home and try to forget the pain.
Please continue the discussion about anxiety, etc. here:
FORT Koffee Klatch
livin-get that freak out of your life (if you want to). I've decided to go through my friends like I go through my clothes. If it don't fit, give it the heave ho!
It's nice to know that other people get anxiety attacks, too. I have been blessed by not having one for several years, but I keep a paper bag by my driver seat just in case. And I do look funny while I'm blowing in the bag!!
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