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Thread: Etiquette Questions

  1. #501
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Veruka;3016715;
    Here's one more thought on the etiquette questions of how much to spend ... I don't think that good etiquette really has spending mininums. Gifts of any sort do not come with an expected price tag attached. I consider it to be very BAD etiquette to snub a gift of be offended by it because the giver did not give enough. Inviting people to a wedding, graduation, or any other event with the expectation of a gift rather than simply the desire to celebrate a momentous occasion with the person is bad etiquette.
    Well said, Veruka. I hate it when people tell me how much each meal costs at their wedding... I know that the hint is that I should give at least that much for each person attending their wedding.

    My parents actually didn't even want me to have a bridal shower because their feeling was my friends are already giving us gifts for our wedding...why are they giving me MORE gifts (when I don't even need anything). I saw their point. My friends still threw me a shower, but I asked everyone to keep it to under $10 and registered for things like potato peelers and meat thermometers and other cooking doodads that I didn't have. It was fun! And I now have things like spatulas! (I've never been much of a cook--can you tell?!) I asked my family not to give me any gifts at the shower 'cause I knew they would give me a lot and didn't want anyone else to feel uncomfortable.

    For guests flying in for our wedding, we told them that them spending all that money on airfare and hotel rooms (that's hundreds of dollars!) was more than enough and to please not bother with gifts. Some did, some didn't.

    ETA: p.s. I love and use that meat thermometer at least once a week. That expensive fancy bowl that I never wanted that someone gave us is sitting in the pantry never being used...It was a nice thought, but I'm so not an expensive fancy bowl person...
    Last edited by Lois Lane; 05-22-2008 at 05:56 PM.

  2. #502
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I've been invited to a wedding shower for my boyfriend's sister, who's getting married in October. I'll be out of town with her brother so I can't go. Am I supposed to still send a gift?
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  3. #503
    Cy Young 2010 Mariner's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy;3020464;
    I've been invited to a wedding shower for my boyfriend's sister, who's getting married in October. I'll be out of town with her brother so I can't go. Am I supposed to still send a gift?
    Is this the only shower you are invited to for the wedding? If so, yes you probably are supposed to send a gift. If it's one of two or more you are invited to, hell no. Just bring a gift to another shower.
    "I miss Darva Conger." - Phonegrrrl

  4. #504
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Yeah, I concur with Mariner. Since it is your boyfriend's sister I would probably send a present, unless it is one of many showers and you will get a chance later on. However, I would definitely put the bug in my boyfriend's ear (or some way for her to know) that your intentions are good...ie. a present will be showing up at some point

  5. #505
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by canuckinchile;3020563;
    Yeah, I concur with Mariner. Since it is your boyfriend's sister I would probably send a present, unless it is one of many showers and you will get a chance later on. However, I would definitely put the bug in my boyfriend's ear (or some way for her to know) that your intentions are good...ie. a present will be showing up at some point
    I agree. You could also send her a card saying that you are sorry that you can't attend her shower but you are looking forward to seeing her at the next shower and/or her wedding. That should leave the impression that eventually, a present will arrive!
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  6. #506
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I really don't know if there are more showers, so I think I'll just choose something online from her registry and have it sent, and figure out what to do about later showers should they arrive.

    What DO people do if they're invited to multiple wedding showers, anyway? Surely you don't have to bring a gift each time.
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

  7. #507
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy;3021468;
    Surely you don't have to bring a gift each time.
    OK, I've never been invited to multiple showers...what's this all about anyhow? What kind of showers are there other than a bridal shower? And why would there be more than one? Knowing me, I'd probably RSVP no to the other showers and just give a gift for the one shower I do attend.

  8. #508
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I had more than one bridal shower but they were surprises and it wasn't my fault! However, they were different sets of people as one was given by the people I worked with, and the other was close friends etc. I am totally out of the loop now when it comes to wedding showers. When I had mine (22 years ago, gulp) it wouldn't have been a big deal to go to more than one since there was no registry and the gifts were not that expensive. I mean, what the heck are people giving now? I was happy to receive measuring cups and spoons etc. and a nice set of tea towels (dish towels).

  9. #509
    Cy Young 2010 Mariner's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I've been invited to multiple showers two or three times. It's happened because of the reason canuck is mentioning. The showers are being thrown by different people and the invitees are generally different but I've happened to be part of the two different groups giving the showers. For instance, one time one shower was people who worked with the bride and the other was people who played softball together on a team for years.
    "I miss Darva Conger." - Phonegrrrl

  10. #510
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by canuckinchile;3021532;
    I mean, what the heck are people giving now? I was happy to receive measuring cups and spoons etc. and a nice set of tea towels (dish towels).
    Same here! I asked everyone to spend no more than $10 at my bridal shower. Some, of course, did. But I LOVE the spatulas, measuring spoons and cups, meat thermometer etc. that I received, and those are the things I use the most often. I did register for those so they would all be the same brand and I love having a matching set! I still use the dish towels as well! FYI, I registered for a lot of things that were reasonably priced ($5 to $25) as well as a few more expensive pieces that I knew my family would get me. I hate gift registeries where everything is $200 or more! That annoys me!

    Mariner, what did you do? Did you bring gifts to both showers or just the one?

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