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Thread: Etiquette Questions

  1. #451
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Thanks guys...how much cash do you think is appropriate for a high school grad? I usually give family members anywhere from $50 to $150, depending on how close I am to them. Is $25 enough for a friend's kid? Or should it be $50ish?

  2. #452
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I would say $50ish myself.

  3. #453
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Lois I would say for a friend's kid $30-$40 is more than generous and will be greatly appreciated.
    CYA

  4. #454
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Unklescott;2990275;
    I would say $50ish myself.
    Where were you when I graduated from h.s.?

    Bunny, thanks! You are all so helpful...I don't want to be tacky!

    Quote Originally Posted by Veruka;2989782;
    I agree with Gabriel on both counts. One marriage, one gift. I never ever bring a gift to the wedding itself -- I always mail it directly to the recipient ahead of time so they don't have to worry about transporting it from the reception.
    Veruka, it's an ethnic wedding and I'm unaccumstomed to their customs!! I wasn't sure if a gift was expected at the second dinner (the one that's a few weeks after the wedding/reception). I was going to bring the card/check to the wedding, but thanks for reminding me that it may be better to mail it in advance. Less for them to deal with on the day of... I'll probably add a little bonus in there since I'll be eating at another dinner in their honor a few weeks later...
    Last edited by Lois Lane; 05-13-2008 at 12:37 AM.

  5. #455
    Reformed Perfectionist G.G.'s Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Unklescott;2990275;
    I would say $50ish myself.

    I think $50 is an appropriate amount for a graduation as well. I remember graduation as the first time I ever got $50 and I felt so grown up!

    Hi Unklescott! I haven't been around in a while...so I'm little late with the jab but,

    WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO OHIO STATE IN JANUARY? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  6. #456
    MRD
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2990251;
    Thanks guys...how much cash do you think is appropriate for a high school grad? I usually give family members anywhere from $50 to $150, depending on how close I am to them. Is $25 enough for a friend's kid? Or should it be $50ish?
    I've gotten 5 grad announcements and all are from old friends whose kids are graduating. So I'm only sending $25 as I can't afford to send more since I have so many.

    However, none of them sent my child anything when she graduated, so I may not send anything. I don't know.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  7. #457
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2990313;
    Veruka, it's an ethnic wedding and I'm unaccumstomed to their customs!! I wasn't sure if a gift was expected at the second dinner (the one that's a few weeks after the wedding/reception). I was going to bring the card/check to the wedding, but thanks for reminding me that it may be better to mail it in advance. Less for them to deal with on the day of... I'll probably add a little bonus in there since I'll be eating at another dinner in their honor a few weeks later...
    When I was about 18, one of my cousins got married, and I was one of the several in my family who ended up helping out with the gift transport after the reception. It was an absolute NIGHTMARE. The vast majority of the guests had brought gifts to the wedding, and since most of us were in rental cars, we didn't have enough space to transport all of them out of the reception hall. In addition, most of the cards were separated from the gifts in transport, so she was left having no idea who gave her what. Seeing what a disaster that was, it was permanently stamped in my mind to NEVER bring a gift to the wedding itself!


    For friend's kids, I've never given more than $25 as a graduation gift. If it is someone I have a relationship with myself, I may give more, but I feel no guilt about not going as high as $50. If I gave $50 or more, the kid may be really impressed, but that's not really my key concern.

    MRD, with many of the announcements I've received, I have not given more than a card. I don't think there is an obligation to give a gift just because you receive an announcement. People seem to send announcements to every address they have anymore ... I think that in many cases, people have longer lists for graduation announcements than they do Christmas cards! My rule is that if the kid would not know who I am when reading my name on a check, they don't get one. I've received announcements and invitations for graduation parties where walking into the party, I could not identify the person the party is honoring. If I know that little about the graduate, they don't get a gift.

    I hold the same rule towards wedding gifts. I've receive a couple of wedding invitations from old college friends who I so much lost contact with that I did not even know they were dating anyone let alone engaged. I didn't go to those weddings, and considered the invitation to be fishing for a gift, so I didn't send one.

  8. #458
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2991362;
    I've gotten 5 grad announcements and all are from old friends whose kids are graduating. So I'm only sending $25 as I can't afford to send more since I have so many.

    However, none of them sent my child anything when she graduated, so I may not send anything. I don't know.
    MRD, I'm with Veruka. Honestly, if they didn't acknowledge your child and so much as send a card, I don't know that I would send their child a gift either. I might send a card... I know gifts aren't supposed to be tit for tat, but honestly, when people are just fishing for presents... I've sent just cards to people who invited me to their weddings who I was really no longer in contact with...

    With the invitations I received for the wedding and the h.s. graduation, these are for people I know...so I know they're not fishing. And I'll get fed at both, so I need to make sure I bring something the honorees will appreciate--and I think it will be cash for both. The graduation party is at their home, so I think it's OK to just bring the gift there since they don't have to transport it anywhere.

  9. #459
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Thanks for the advice guys. There are 2 I would probably send a gift too and the other 3 are getting cards.

    As for the gifts brought to the wedding it used to be BAD etiquette to bring gifts TO the wedding. The gifts were to be delivered before or mailed before or up to 6 months afterwards. But I think that most people bring them to the wedding for convenience.

    I have a fairly good friend getting re-married in August. She has kids, he has kids, but she never had the BIG wedding, so she wants that, which I see nothing wrong with, they are both professionals and paying for it themselves.
    But they are asking that in lieu of gifts, donations be made to St. Jude Children's hospital. She has a son with epilepsy and St. Jude's has really, really helped her son. I thought it was a GREAT idea and I would probably send a bigger check to them than I would have spent on a wedding gift anyway.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  10. #460
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2992130;
    they are asking that in lieu of gifts, donations be made to St. Jude Children's hospital. She has a son with epilepsy and St. Jude's has really, really helped her son. I thought it was a GREAT idea and I would probably send a bigger check to them than I would have spent on a wedding gift anyway.
    That is such a sweet idea. Many couples don't NEED anything to start their lives together. How wonderful of them to help others this way. I've had friends who did similar things--asked friends to make donations to the Alzheimers Association or the American Cancer Society or whatever charity was close to their hearts. I mean really--how many toasters or juicers does one couple need anyhow? (FYI, my brother and sister in law got no less than 5 juicers! I think they've used, um, NONE! ) One of my friends asked that in lieu of baby gifts when her child was born, that anyone wanting to do something make a donation to their favorite charity. I thought that was a great idea, too.

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