+ Reply to Thread
Page 23 of 79 FirstFirst ... 13141516171819202122232425262728293031323373 ... LastLast
Results 221 to 230 of 790

Thread: Etiquette Questions

  1. #221
    Kanai Nemeses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    In my own world
    Posts
    3,835

    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2842951;
    I have been given a gift for being in someone's wedding party and then later they asked for it back, saying they hadn't meant to get me something that expensive and they replaced that gift with a cheaper gift
    Oh, wow, Lois! What an unbelievably rude and classless thing to do to you!

    I'll admit that I've accidentally given the wrong gift to the wrong person a couple of times (when I was wrapping several gifts at Christmas, and accidentally switched the gift tags because I wasn't paying close enough attention). This ended up with a new employee of mine getting a very nice $100 gift instead of the $20 gift I had meant to give her, and my mother-in-law getting the $20 gift originally intended for the new employee. I found out about my mistake when the employee opened her gift and I saw what I had done. But there was no way I was going to tell her it was a mistake, give it back, and I'll bring you the cheaper gift later. It was my error, so the responsible thing was to suck it up and accept it. No need to embarass the employee, and no need to tell her it was a mistake. So I let her keep it without her ever knowing it wasn't originally meant for her, and I just went out and bought another of the original gift and gave that to my mother-in-law as I had meant to do all along. So mom-in-law got the $20 gift I'd given her in error as well as the other gift, and neither mom-in-law or the employee knew there was any errors made.

    It was just plain wrong for them to tell you they meant to give you a less expensive gift, and then ask for it back, even if they did replace it with a cheaper gift. Just wrong to put you in that position and to basically tell you that you weren't worth the expensive gift. Very rude and tacky!
    I live in my own world. But it's ok, they know me there.
    Kid Nation... a sad day for society when the exploitation of children becomes acceptable entertainment for television viewers.
    "Online communities, like the Fort, are very snarky and borderline cynical when it comes to celebrities and their shenanigans." -- Leo, FoRT Writer

  2. #222
    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Anticipating roses and broken hearts
    Posts
    7,271

    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I know weddings can be wracked with problems but some of these stories are shocking. Barley, as a family member who is traveling some distance, I think yours is pretty high up there on the Rude-O-Meter, but I would do something else that night and wouldn't say anything either.

    Coincidentally, we Roses just got a wedding invitation this week for a couple none of us knows. Seriously. Mr. Rose and I have been searching the far reaches of our cobweb-filled brains and neither of us can figure out who these people are. I had Mr. Rose ask some friends at work if they know the people, and no one did. It has the bride's and the groom's parents named, as well as the couple, and we don't recognize any of them. I even asked our daughter if she knew the names or could tell by their picture. Nope. Isn't that hilarious? I realize they must think they're friends of ours, but what kind of wedding is it that you invite mere acquaintances to your wedding? That's a rhetorical question, of course, because the answer is it's a wedding for people who want lots of gifts. We're not going in case it's not clear.
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

  3. #223
    FORT Fogey Missyboxers's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    NYC
    Age
    31
    Posts
    4,038

    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Gosh, now I know where to come for advice when I'm planning my wedding (assuming I will have one someday)! Although to me, things like inviting extended family members to the rehearsal dinner, and not messing around with gifts, and taking responsibility for the event, I'd assumed those were the norm anyway. I tend to be pretty traditional though. I know a lot of people these days are getting away from things like china patterns, but after growing up in a house where we use the good china on every holiday and every party my parents host, I can't imagine not doing that in my own house. Especially since I like to cook and entertain! (Miraculously, there isn't so much as a chip in the china, and nothing has broken. I'm knocking wood as I post this.)

    Lois, I can't believe someone had the nerve to ask for a gift back! That's outrageous and beyond tacky. I just don't get how people can be so naive when it comes to things like that--don't they realize how poorly it reflects on the person?

  4. #224
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893

    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Missy, you sound like someone who the rest of us would love to be your wedding guests and we wouldn't mind buying you a place setting for a wedding gift.

    What gets me are the event planners today who have NO CLUE!!!!

    There are tons of books available and a good planner should have a nice library of them for all occasions including etiquette books.
    I used to do event planning and I had a very nice library of reference material.

    But a lot of people don't heed the planners advice on stuff. But you'd also be amazed at things the planners suggest and I am SHOCKED by some of it. The excuse used is that in today's "modern" times, anything goes. No, I'm afraid it doesn't. I am old fashioned enough to believe that good manners and etiquette do NOT go out of style and that "anything goes" today.

    I don't know, I think that there are very few situations where good manners should be tossed out.

    Good manners, a good etiquette book and some common sense will get you through a LOT of situations in life and you will be invited back because you are then considered a "gracious and polite" person that can be counted on.

    Yes, my mom is in heaven as I type this because I've heard this so many times from her all my life and I used to roll my eyes at her. But thank goodness she "raised me right" because honestly it has served me well in a variety of situations. And except for my clueless friends that don't invite me on their annual cruise, I am normally invited back. (most places. )
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  5. #225
    Premium Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    15,826

    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by hepcat
    Even if no one seems to remember these niceties these days, how hard is it to figure out that you have invited 3 out of the 4 out-of-town guests?
    It's more than just 4 out of town guests, it is the 4 out of town aunts and uncles of the bride. We're a small family, so there are 2 sets of aunts and uncles on her father's side (only my brother and I are able to attend, not our spouses) and only one set on her mother's side. So yeah, it hurts that they couldn't think of a good enough reason to include me along with the other 3.

    Quote Originally Posted by veejer
    The son of a good friend is getting married in May and she appears to be practicing pasting a smile on her face and zipping her lips.
    I laughed at this because when my son got married I remember hearing that the role of the mother of the groom was to "wear beige and keep your mouth shut".

    Quote Originally Posted by Veruka
    It is a shame that the groom's parents didn't have the consideration of choosing a location for the dinner that would fit the number of people they needed it for instead of trying to make the group fit the venue.
    My understanding is that the restaurant choice was partly the bride's because she wanted an "intimate" dinner. The way my SIL described the process of decision making for the guest list, it sounded very tedious and in my mind I imagined them making a list of everyone and then assigning points to each name based on their importance. I know the reason my brother and the other aunt and uncle (my SIL's sister and husband) are because they are my niece's baptism sponsors. She is 30 years old now, so I find it rather amusing that this was the deal breaker that kept me off the guest list. I know I mentioned this before, but my niece was my flower girl when I got married. If they are being that nitpicky about it I think that should have counted for something.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nemeses
    Marleybone, I completely understand your feelings of being a little hurt by this, and you have a right to be. At the same time, I get the feeling you also understand how crazy wedding events are and would be okay with not being invited to the pre-wedding dinner, that it's just the way they're handling it now that's become the problem. I agree with the others who've said it's the wishy-washy-ness that's making it into more than is comfortable.
    Exactly. It's the wishy-washy crap, and having been told way more about the situation than I needed/wanted to know. Nobody should have ever "explained" anything to me. I hate that I know all this and I wish nobody had ever brought it up. I was perfectly happy back when I was told it would be only the wedding party.

  6. #226
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Enchanted by a beautiful Soprano
    Posts
    3,163

    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I laughed at this because when my son got married I remember hearing that the role of the mother of the groom was to "wear beige and keep your mouth shut".
    I think that particular bit of wisdom comes from Erma Bombeck
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

  7. #227
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893

    Re: Etiquette Questions

    "Wear beige and shut up."

    A good friend of mine's father told me just before her wedding that the father of the bride has to: "pay up, show up and SHUT UP!".

    I always thought that was funny.

    My husband wanted to elope. The more I think about it, the more that should be the norm.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  8. #228
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    salt lake city ut
    Age
    43
    Posts
    19,167

    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I have always thought eloping was the best way to go.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

  9. #229
    She luvs me not?!?!?! Vonna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Central California
    Posts
    2,730

    Re: Etiquette Questions

    My niece is planning a wedding that no one can afford. I think eloping would be their best bet, but my sister has always spoiled the girl so now they are fretting over the expenses. So ridiculous, just do what you can afford or go to the courthouse. Personally, I think she's planning her wedding around how many gifts she'll receive. Well, they'll work it out, but probably regret overspending when it's all said and done. I just hope she doesn't send me an invitation with one of those long list of gift registries.
    I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
    Maya Angelou

  10. #230
    In My Nest doxie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Sweet dreams are made of cheese....
    Posts
    1,264

    Re: Etiquette Questions

    My husband and I got married last December. We chose a place and a date that were special to US (date was my great-granparents wedding anniversary). We announced our plans to my parents and two couples who are dear friends of ours. Both of those couples have little girls who wanted to be flower girls, and that was fine with me. They picked their own dresses and they were darling.

    I have one brother and we don't have a lot in common. I was planning to invite him, but my father beat me to it and told my brother what time to be there for the ceremony. Brother missed the entire wedding (which was 15 minutes long) because he had the urgent need to get a haircut...... He did show up for the little party that my parents hosted afterwards. I was not even surprised that he was a no-show, but my parents were not happy with him.

    We were perfectly happy with our wedding and didn't need all of the bells and whistles. It was exactly what we wanted. We sent out announcements afterwards and got some great gifts, but we didn't feel like we had "solicited" gifts or gotten married just to get gifts.

    Hubby's parents and family are all visiting us in May and they'll meet my parents (and brother - unless he needs another haircut) and we're happy with how simple the entire thing was. We'd been thinking of eloping or going to the courthouse, but this worked out much better.
    Click here to automatically donate FREE kibble to homeless dogs and cats in shelters.

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.