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Thread: Etiquette Questions

  1. #171
    MRD
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    My neighbor invited me out to dinner tonight as both of our husbands are out of town.

    She had a coupon for TGIFridays for a buy one entree get the 2nd one free. When the bill came, she snatched it up and would not let me pay my share or leave the tip and she drove as well. I had ordered an entree and I had ordered a dessert to go to bring home to my daughter as a treat. She wouldn't let me pay at all.

    So I said: "I'll treat next time." I realize that she only paid for one entree, 2 cokes and a dessert", but I still feel like I need to reciprocate (and we used her gas).And I feel bad that she paid for a treat I was going to buy my daughter as she had to stay home by herself.

    I am planning on writing a Thank you note. But do you think that's overkill? I thanked her several times and I would like to reciprocate with dinner.

    What would you guys do?
    And I don't mind about the coupon. Heck, I'd use one if I had it.
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  2. #172
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    mrd, I think I would either invite her over to dinner...and if I wasn't going to do that, I would send a thank you note. I don't think you need to do both though. Personally, I think it'd be more fun to have her over for dinner! And with you being such a great cook, I'm sure she would enjoy it... She sounds like a class act! Very old school. Back in my parents' day, if a couple invited them out, it was understood that that couple would be picking up the check. And then my parents would reciprocate.

    Um...what time should I invite myself over? I promise to sit in the corner and not cause a fuss...IF you give me seconds! (And I'll do dishes AND send a thank you note...and of course I'll bring a hostess gift!)

  3. #173
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2834113;
    mrd, I think I would either invite her over to dinner...and if I wasn't going to do that, I would send a thank you note. I don't think you need to do both though. Personally, I think it'd be more fun to have her over for dinner! And with you being such a great cook, I'm sure she would enjoy it... She sounds like a class act! Very old school. Back in my parents' day, if a couple invited them out, it was understood that that couple would be picking up the check. And then my parents would reciprocate.

    Um...what time should I invite myself over? I promise to sit in the corner and not cause a fuss...IF you give me seconds! (And I'll do dishes AND send a thank you note...and of course I'll bring a hostess gift!)
    Be here at 6!

    You know, I do remember when someone invited you out like that it was understood they paid. Gosh, I didn't even think about that. But she is very old school and fun.
    She was apologizing for the "tackiness" of using a coupon, but hey, I happen to think coupons are great. Especially if you get a free dinner coupon, why NOT use it?

    I want to invite her over and think I will later this week. Her husband is out of the country at the moment. I have wanted to invite them both over for dinner before, but she's told me he doesn't like to eat at other people's houses because of his food problems. He has a few allergies, but mostly he doesn't eat anything else. He's extremely picky and the first time I suggested they come to dinner, she said, he wouldn't come because of that. Oh well, now's my chance to invite her.
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  4. #174
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2834425;
    She was apologizing for the "tackiness" of using a coupon, but hey, I happen to think coupons are great. Especially if you get a free dinner coupon, why NOT use it?
    I know! ESPECIALLY since she picked up the whole tab! We've been out with good friends where I might have a coupon or someone else might, and we just apply it to the whole table and then split the remaining cost. (And I know you all know this but you're to tip on the ENTIRE meal cost that you would've paid if you didn't have a coupon. No reason to stiff the servers!) But there's one couple where if they use a coupon, they apply it towards their share of the bill and pay less than everyone else. I do think that's a little tacky. (Especially since they'd gladly take advantage of paying the smaller portion when someone else has a coupon.) If it were me and I planned on doing that, I would use that coupon when it was just me and the husband. I mean, it's not like the Olive Garden is going out of business after this dinner!

    Now, that said, when someone else does have a coupon, I always offer to pay the full portion of my bill. EVERYONE says no, you're sharing in this coupon's savings. Everyone except that one couple I mean.

  5. #175
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I agree with you all regarding the using of coupons. Heck, a few years ago, myself and a friend would have a coupon day once a month where we'd go to a restaurant with a BOGO (buy one get one) coupon and have dinner and use the coupon for one of the meals, and we'd split the cost of the rest of the tab minus the coupon savings, and we'd each split the tip, too. We did this once a month for about 3 years until she was transferred out of state on her job. We really enjoyed those once-a-month coupon dates, and often used coupons for restaurants we normally wouldn't go to for whatever reason (too far, too snooty, unsure about the cuisine type, not being very brave in ordering foods genres we weren't familiar with, etc.), so armed with out BOGO coupons and a willing partner, we'd venture out to try new restaurants and courses. It was fun, and we found some new favorite restaurants and meals, and enjoyed our time together, and the restaurants themselves seemed to enjoy us using the coupons. Enjoyable memories
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  6. #176
    MRD
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I love coupons and Nemeses, that sounds like fun. I'm with you, I like the coupons because you can try restaurants you normally wouldn't. Too bad your friend moved as that does sound like a lot of fun.

    And Lois, like you, we normally deduct the coupon and everyone splits the rest and then tips on what the full amount would be. But yes, I have known some cheapskates like your friends that do that. And yes, I would think, then use the coupon when its just you and your husband, not a big group. Like you said, Olive Garden is not going anywhere.

    I normally reserve coupons for either dinner with my husband or one friend like we did last night, like Nemeses and her friend. I probably would not use it in a group setting, but I have been with a group that people did use it.

    Bloom has been sending $10 off a $35 grocery bill to us for the last couple months. We get 4 each month. I normally don't shop at Bloom, but hey, with the $10 off, I have been going there for "short" shops of $35 at a time, once a week.
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  7. #177
    MRD
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    YOu know the two friends that go on the cruise every year and don't invite me and talk about it in front of me? One of them just sent me a link to look at the pictures from it.

    I haven't looked. Nor do I want too. Nor have I answered her.

    do I just ignore it? Should I reply to it? Or what? I am inclined to not look, just ignore the email from her and let it go.

    But is that tacky or what? "You're not invited, but here's all the fun WE had."

    I did get an invitation from another friend to go to the beach for spring break. And it was a very lovely and sincere invitation.
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  8. #178
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    myrosiedog, would you really want to go on the cruise with those two friends? If so, I would open the email, look at the pics and mention to your friend that you would love to go with them one year. If they invite you, then you will realize it was perhaps an oversight. If they ignore your request, then they're just rude. If they acknowledge your request but still don't invite you...then they're kind of not as good friends as you think they are. They may have a very good reason for wanting to keep it small (e.g. just the two of them), but if that's the case, they should have the good sense not to plan their trips while you're sitting there!

    I have some friends that don't include me in some activities, but that's 'cause Mr. Lane and I don't have any children and their outings are kid-based. Is there anything like that going on--like the friends are into backgammon and want to do that on their entire vacation and you don't?

  9. #179
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    That's kind of weird MRD. Maybe they think you don't want to come since you are married, or for some other reason? Honestly, I would probably find a way to broach the subject rather than let it fester.

  10. #180
    She luvs me not?!?!?! Vonna's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2836561;
    YOu know the two friends that go on the cruise every year and don't invite me and talk about it in front of me? One of them just sent me a link to look at the pictures from it.

    I haven't looked. Nor do I want too. Nor have I answered her.

    do I just ignore it? Should I reply to it? Or what? I am inclined to not look, just ignore the email from her and let it go.

    But is that tacky or what? "You're not invited, but here's all the fun WE had."

    I did get an invitation from another friend to go to the beach for spring break. And it was a very lovely and sincere invitation.
    If they're going to be so insensitive, just let it go and come out to California. There's lots to do here...
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