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Thread: Etiquette Questions

  1. #131
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2822545;
    Thanks guys! I've tried in the past saying I didn't have it in the budget for any purchases, but then they'd say, "Oh, don't worry about buying. Just come on by." I'm one of those people who feel badly about NOT buying stuff at those type of things. Actually, maybe if I show up, don't buy anything, and then eat all their food, they'll stop inviting me.
    That doesn't work -- I've tried it. I will admit to attending parties like that on several occasions where I have not bought anything. If the invitation doesn't say "minimum of $20 purchase required for attendence" then I don't feel an obligation to buy (for the record, I've never received an invitation with a minimum purchase note!) If they aren't selling anything I consider worth buying, I don't buy it.

    Side note on that -- I have one friend whose best friend sells Pampered Chef. I have bought so much of that stuff over the years that there's not a lot left I would need to buy. But whenever my friend does a Pampered Chef party, her friend the consultant will request that she invites me. Even though I don't buy anything anymore, I rave about the things I love so much that she thinks it helps her sales. I'm kind of like their plant.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2822545;
    I think I'm just going to say, "No, but thanks for thinking of me" and see how that works out.

    WHY AM I SUCH A WIMP? Is there a thread for that?!
    I would actually be hesitant to say it that way, only becasue it would invite them to pester you for the next party too. A more firm no will end it once and for all.

  2. #132
    MRD
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Veruka;2822570;
    That doesn't work -- I've tried it. I will admit to attending parties like that on several occasions where I have not bought anything. If the invitation doesn't say "minimum of $20 purchase required for attendence" then I don't feel an obligation to buy (for the record, I've never received an invitation with a minimum purchase note!) If they aren't selling anything I consider worth buying, I don't buy it.

    Side note on that -- I have one friend whose best friend sells Pampered Chef. I have bought so much of that stuff over the years that there's not a lot left I would need to buy. But whenever my friend does a Pampered Chef party, her friend the consultant will request that she invites me. Even though I don't buy anything anymore, I rave about the things I love so much that she thinks it helps her sales. I'm kind of like their plant.


    I would actually be hesitant to say it that way, only becasue it would invite them to pester you for the next party too. A more firm no will end it once and for all.
    Ha! That's me. I love pampered chef stuff and I rave about it so much that I have actually increased sales for some of my friends. But like you, I don't need any more.

    I've been fairly fortunate here not to be invited to any of those parties. But I dont' mind going to them, I always have fun. But I've just said, no at this time I can't purchase anything.

    Which reminds me of a Home Interiors party I attended and one of the other guests was supposed to come to the school's PTO meeting for a presentation their school was giving ours and she tells me at this party, she doesn't think she can make the meeting next week as she will be in JAIL!!!!

    Now THAT has to be the BEST excuse EVER!

    I'd go with that one Lois.

    Perhaps Lois, you can say: "I'm sorry, but I can't make the party, I'm going to be in jail for writing bad checks". They won't EVER invite you again because they'd be afraid you'd write a bad check.

    Seriously, I would just say: I'm really not interested. I used to be in direct sales and believe me, they have training for that and I was taught to respect someone that told me they were not interested. Not everyone will respect that, but they should.
    But saying you are not interested and do NOT add on "at this time" because that opens the door for the future, is what I'd go with.
    And don't apologize. Not everyone wants to buy this stuff.

    I do like to go to the parties at times because it is fun to socialize with some friends. But I agree that at one time, I was getting invitations right and left and it got to be tiresome.

    What I hate is when they try to get you to join the company with them and be the "consultant".

    Did I tell you guys about the "friend" that asked me if I would be interested in working from home like she does? I'm thinking: "Ok, what is it, Avon? Mary Kay, Pampered Chef?". Nope, it was phone sex! Yep, she does that from home. I needed to be picked up off the floor after that one!
    If I haven't told you the story, I will as its hysterical!

    Needless to say I had NO problem saying I wasn't interested in that one. But boy, did I have a lot of questions.
    Last edited by MRD; 03-03-2008 at 05:58 PM.
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  3. #133
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2822355;
    Mr. Coz sounds like a sweetheart. I actually always ask my invited guests if they are allergic to anything and I keep a list in my agenda so that I know who can't eat what. And when I ask them, I let them know that I ask this of everyone so that they don't feel they're putting me out. I take allergies very seriously. The thing that annoyed me were the addons who I hadn't invited who were telling me they didn't like this or that (no allergies--just a preference).

    Your friends were presumptious and OH SO RUDE...but it sounded like their replacements had common sense and were very polite (and fun).
    You are the kind of hostess we love. Most of our friends know, but it's such a complex list that they always have to ask. I think my SIL is the only one that actually has a written list. MrCoz is allergic to almost the entire traditional Thanksgiving meal and after a couple of bad experiences we don't go to anyone's house for Thanksgiving. It's either here with a ton of people or go out to eat.

    He's actually much nicer than me about it all. I have a terrible attitude. He never wants to put anyone out, or anyone to make a fuss over him. I know that most people would want to know that he can't eat certain stuff or risks an emergency room visit (and possibly death). There have been times when people have known (usually family :/) and still barely fixed anything he could eat. I personally find it rude to invite someone for dinner and not take that into consideration. It translates to me that they just don't really care about him that much. I'm talking about people who know - not those who do it unintentionally.

    I think it was mentioned in this thread about showers and gifts. I agree about the whole card in the invitation stating where they are registered. Sometimes I'll buy off that list and sometimes not. Unfortunately with stores pushing it so much they think it's acceptable practice and don't read Emily Post to find out it's not.

  4. #134
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2822620;
    Did I tell you guys about the "friend" that asked me if I would be interested in working from home like she does? I'm thinking: "Ok, what is it, Avon? Mary Kay, Pampered Chef?". Nope, it was phone sex! Yep, she does that from home. I needed to be picked up off the floor after that one!
    If I haven't told you the story, I will as its hysterical!
    That's hilarious! It reminds me of those commercials that used to run during Leno/11 pm syndicated tv in college... Live Links, I think it was called. I always thought that if someone overheard through the not-so-thick dorm walls, I must have sounded like the biggest sketchball... I was embarrassed for my own tv! And that was just suggestive comments, not full-on phone sex! I can't imagine!
    Last edited by Missyboxers; 03-03-2008 at 10:59 PM.

  5. #135
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2822620;
    ...Did I tell you guys about the "friend" that asked me if I would be interested in working from home like she does? I'm thinking: "Ok, what is it, Avon? Mary Kay, Pampered Chef?". Nope, it was phone sex! Yep, she does that from home. I needed to be picked up off the floor after that one!
    If I haven't told you the story, I will as its hysterical!

    Needless to say I had NO problem saying I wasn't interested in that one. But boy, did I have a lot of questions.
    Ok. I need to hear the story, please. I'm sure that as a phone sex operator, she made good money!! And never had to deal with any of the customers in person!
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  6. #136
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I remember a movie once, I want to say it was one of those big casts with a zillion different storyline movies by someone like Robert Altman, where one of the characters was a phone sex operator from home. There were some hilarious scenes of her walking around her house, on the phone, talking dirty, while dressed like a normal housewife, doing chores, cleaning up after her kids, etc. The contrast was very entertaining. I cannot remember what movie it was, but I remember laughing.

  7. #137
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Veruka;2823533;
    There were some hilarious scenes of her walking around her house, on the phone, talking dirty, while dressed like a normal housewife, doing chores, cleaning up after her kids, etc. The contrast was very entertaining. I cannot remember what movie it was, but I remember laughing.
    One of my servers at the restaurant did it and that's what she said it was like. Her mother-in-law got her the job. She went in to one of her "routines" for me one day and it was too funny.

  8. #138
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Unklescott;2824301;
    One of my servers at the restaurant did it and that's what she said it was like. Her mother-in-law got her the job. She went in to one of her "routines" for me one day and it was too funny.
    Can you imagine your MIL getting you a job as a phone sex operator???
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  9. #139
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by bbnbama;2824333;
    Can you imagine your MIL getting you a job as a phone sex operator???
    My ex MIL spoke very little English. It was actually quite nice for us as we never disagreed. I did however understand more Spanish than she thought I did and caught a few comments directed at me.
    CYA

  10. #140
    MRD
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by bbnbama;2824333;
    Can you imagine your MIL getting you a job as a phone sex operator???
    Well this woman told me that there were quite a few older women in their 60's and 70's that did this because they couldn't live on their SS incomes. Apparantly most of the women that worked for this particular company were women who were newly divorced or separated, in school, or just in situations where they needed to make decent income and couldn't otherwise. She said very few women in her company did it because they "liked" it.

    I couldn't imagine someone like my mother doing this to make ends meet.

    And speaking of etiquette, how do you handle this in social settings:

    "And what is it you do?"

    "I'm a phone sex operator."

    "????"
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