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Thread: Etiquette Questions

  1. #91
    Kanai Nemeses's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by ScoutMom;2819752;
    I can't believe people think they're SO important that they have to be in touch with the world 24/7. It's just simple courtesy to turn them off/set to silent when you're in a room full of people who are there for one common purpose.
    This is another conversation that my hubby and I have fairly often. I'm with you, ScoutMom, in being amazed at people who think they have to be in touch with the world 24/7. When I see these people who constantly have their cell phones going, either talking or texting, I don't look at those people as being important at all... I actually pity them because people like that don't understand the value of being alone with your own thoughts sometimes. It would drive me nuts if I didn't have my personal times when I could think about things I'm doing, want to do, should do, or times when I can just let my mind flow freely and see what it comes up with. When you're constantly at the beck and call of a cell phone, when will you ever have time to really formulate opinions on things, to dream up new ideas or inventions? These people don't know how to be alone, they don't know how to be independent -- which is ironic since so many people like that always say their cell phones allow them to be independent. Well, sorry, guys, but it's just the opposite. They're so dependent on that cell phone, so intent on being on the phone with someone all the time, or texting someone back and forth all the time, that they're like a crack addict with it.

    And that's another thing I don't understand. I'm constantly seeing people walking and texting, sitting and texting, laying down and texting, eating and texting.... if they have so much to say to someone in text, whyyyyy don't they just call the person with that precious cell phone and actually speak words??

    I'm highly proficient in today's technology and gadgets, but many people get so frustrated with me because I have absolutely no problem turning them off or ignoring them if I'm off work, or doing something I don't want to be disturbed doing. And I'd never dream of imposing my phone conversation on anyone not involved, so on the rare times I do answer my cell phone if I'm out and about, if I have to talk, then I'll walk away to a private area so it doesn't disturb others. And regarding the cell phone itself.... when I'm home, it gets turned off and if anyone wants to call me, they can use the land line. And maybe I'll answer, maybe I won't... again, I have no problem not answering a phone if I don't feel like being interrupted. If I don't answer, leave a voice message, that's why I have it. And I'll get back to you when it's convenient for me.
    I live in my own world. But it's ok, they know me there.
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  2. #92
    HBK fan nilesgirl's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Scoutmom
    The thing that bothers me most (I think this still fits in this thread) is when you're in a meeting or training event or whatever, and people's cell phones constantly go off. It drives me nuts. I've gotten to the point that when I'm doing training, the first thing I say is "If you have a cell phone or pager, please turn them off or set them to silent." And even with that, sometimes I'll still here the stupid things. I can't believe people think they're SO important that they have to be in touch with the world 24/7. It's just simple courtesy to turn them off/set to silent when you're in a room full of people who are there for one common purpose.
    This is an issue I have all the time at the movies. People just don't care. One lady once actually carried on a conversation in the theater during the movie when it rang. Lady, if you have to answer your phone during the movie, at least take the conversation out to the hall. We didn't pay 9 bucks a pop to listen to your cell phone conversation.
    Quote Originally Posted by dagwood
    Our church has a sign that says "If God is calling, go ahead and answer otherwise shut off your phone".
    I love it! Maybe I should suggest that to our church.
    Hurley: (holding up a Jesus statue) I don't know. I thought there might be a prowler or something.
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  3. #93
    Mullet/Summer Enthusiast AshleyPSU's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by Nemeses;2819845;

    And that's another thing I don't understand. I'm constantly seeing people walking and texting, sitting and texting, laying down and texting, eating and texting.... if they have so much to say to someone in text, whyyyyy don't they just call the person with that precious cell phone and actually speak words??

    I'll chime in on this one, Nemeses. I am probably one of the people you are describing who always seems to be texting. Sometimes, even though it might not seem like it to most, it's actually easier to text than to get on the cell phone and "actually speak words". If I'm planning a gathering with my friends or trying to figure out plans for an evening, all I have to do is type out 1 text and send it to 7 people at once rather than taking the time to make 7 different phone calls. I know you said in your post that you don't answer your phone if you are out and about, but that isn't the case for everyone. I'm not going to ignore someone trying to get ahold of me just because I happen to be in public. If I'm in a public place, like on a public bus or walking around Walmart, I can have a conversation with someone on my phone via text without subjecting the whole bus or store to it. I don't text or talk on my cell phone in restaurants, at church, or in movie theaters. Also, if I'm out with friends at a bar or club, honestly I can't even HEAR to talk on my phone. If someone needs to get ahold of me, it has to be via text messaging. I don't have a land line, so my cell is indeed my connection to the world.

    I know that voice to voice conversations are more personal, but I see my friends and family often so I don't feel I lose any of that personal connection by texting rather than calling when I need them.
    Last edited by AshleyPSU; 03-01-2008 at 01:53 PM.
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  4. #94
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by nilesgirl;2819858;
    This is an issue I have all the time at the movies. People just don't care. One lady once actually carried on a conversation in the theater during the movie when it rang. Lady, if you have to answer your phone during the movie, at least take the conversation out to the hall. We didn't pay 9 bucks a pop to listen to your cell phone conversation.
    That's when I'd see just how many Junior Mints I could bounce off the back of her rude head.

    I agree, Ashley - there are times when texting is more convienent, especially when you don't want to be rude or need to message several people at once. But I still have people text me when they're just sitting at home. Pick up the phone and speak, for crying out loud!

    Maybe I'm just too old.
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  5. #95
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I've given people rides home and they spent the entire time chatting with someone else on their cell phone. Like I'm good enough to use, but not good enough to talk to. Once, a long time ago, a guest that I picked up at the airport asked if he could use my cell phone (this was back in the day when it was very expensive to have a cell phone and the packages were pretty costly as well). I figured it'd be a short call to let family know he had reached his destination safely. No, he was just chatting with a friend and used up ALL my minutes for the month. Another friend always asks to get together when she comes into town and then always changes plans at the last minute. Not sometimes, but every time. It's gotten to the point where I don't even leave the house when I'm supposed to meet her 'cause I know she'll change plans. She's another one who will bring someone else along without telling me. Or it's supposed to be the two of us getting together to catch up and then I'll show up and she'll have someone else there that I don't know and don't feel comfortable talking about some of the things with (for instance, I don't want to talk about a miscarriage in front of a stranger). What I've come to realize is that there are just some incredibly rude and selfish people and part of the reason they do the things they do is that people like me let them. Well, finally I grew a pair and put a stop to some of it. That meant saying goodbye to some friends. And that meant some friends were angry with me. And in a rare instance or two, I got apologies and it never happened again.

    I think sometimes it's easier to let a person get away with something than to confront them about it--and I think in some ways that's how we came to be such a selfish generation of people who feel they are entitled to things without offering anything back.

  6. #96
    Wait, what? ArchieComic Fan's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    What bugs me are the earpiece cellphone conversations. I'll be shopping and someone will be looking right at me and talking, and then I realize they're on the phone! I've more than once talked to the person thinking they were talking to me, only to feel like an idiot when I see the earpiece . I get that it's convenient not to have the cellphone up against your ear while you shop, but it can make for some awkward situations.

    I hardly ever use my cellphone and only turn it on when I'm on the go. Well the other day there were two messages from my sister, one day apart from each other. She never once called my house phone. I called her back, got her voicemail, and told her I just got the messages and from now on try the house first. She never did call back so I don't even know if she got my message.

    As long as it's a public place where people have conversations with other people, I don't mind someone being on the cellphone because to me it's no different than two people talking aloud to each other anyway (as long as they keep their voice at conversational level and not loud enough for everyone to hear their business). But church, the movies, the library, meetings, in class - places you're expected to be quiet, the cell phone should at the very most be on vibrate and preferrably off.

    But I do think it's rude to be constantly on the phone while you're in the company of someone else. It makes that person feel like you aren't interested in being with them and that whoever is on the other line deserves your attention more. If you must answer, make it short and tell the person you'll call them back when you aren't with company.

    Oh yeah, that RSVT has got to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. I would purposely not go if that is the ONLY method they are accepting responses. On the one hand, I think it could be fun to get responses that way if you're into that sort of thing, but at least offer the old fashioned method for those without cellphones or who don't know how to text. That's just plain rude. And even stupider to think that anyone would even know what that means.
    Last edited by ArchieComic Fan; 03-01-2008 at 03:31 PM. Reason: Added more

  7. #97
    Premium Member DesertRose's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieComic Fan;2819993;
    But I do think it's rude to be constantly on the phone while you're in the company of someone else.
    That makes me think of one time my friend and I probably looked like a couple of nutcases. We had gone out for supper and the kids were being babysat by the grand-parents. She called to check up on them, so I took advantage of the moment to check up on mine. To the outside world, we probably looked like two people who did not enjoy each other's company, since we were both on the phone.

  8. #98
    Kanai Nemeses's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by waywyrd;2819924;
    But I still have people text me when they're just sitting at home. Pick up the phone and speak, for crying out loud!

    Maybe I'm just too old.
    Yes, those are the type of people I'm referring to, the ones who sit there forever texting back and forth forever when there's no reason they can't speak face to face. I'm not talking about the ones who occasionally send a text for reasons mentioned. An example of what I'm talking about: This is something I've seen probably about a hundred times at least in the past few months, and EVERY time I go to a mall. Two kids (probably mid-teens) will be sitting on separate benches at certain places in the mall, and they're texting each other back and forth. They're like 2' apart, but they only speak to each other when one is laughing at something the other just texted (which is how I know they're texting back and forth). Or in one of the clothing shops, one goes in the dressing room to try clothes on, and her friend outside by the rack stands there texting her, and telling her to send her a pic of the dress she's trying on. !!! Is laziness that out of control?!

    And then there are the kids in school who sit in class and text their friends back and forth. First of all, I don't believe cell phones should be allowed in classes up to 12th grade. But if they are, they should be turned off during class, or the kid should have been taught by his parents that you put it on silent during class and accept calls only from one of your parents during school. It's hard enough to be a teacher under the best of circumstances, but when you have to compete with the student's friends who are texting back and forth with one of your student's, it's just unbelievable.

    And what I hate most, I think, is when you're trying to hold a conversation with someone while their head is bent down texting out messages to someone else. As ACF and Lois mentioned, that's the height of rudeness if it isn't something that has nothing to do with the conversation YOU are trying to hold with the rude person. Growing up, I was taught to give my attention to the person speaking to me, and the person I'm speaking to, otherwise it was considered rude. I think that rule still applies today, in spite of the cell phones surgically attached to some people's ears and hands. And when they tell me "I'm multi-tasking", I tell them I'm not a task, I'm a human being who deserves your attention when we're speaking. And if anyone gets upset because I don't answer the phone every time they call me, I have no problem dropping that person as a friend, either. Because I do not dance to the tune of a ring tone. I determine when I will interrupt my free time by answering a phone, I determine when I'll pick up my messages, and there are certain times when anyone except my husband will just have to accept that I'm on my time now, my family time, and I'm unavailable until I'm available again. Just because cell phones make it easy to communicate 24/7, that doesn't mean I'm available 24/7.

    No matter what good uses a cell phone/text service has, and they do have their uses, they are not a substitute for good manners.
    I live in my own world. But it's ok, they know me there.
    Kid Nation... a sad day for society when the exploitation of children becomes acceptable entertainment for television viewers.
    "Online communities, like the Fort, are very snarky and borderline cynical when it comes to celebrities and their shenanigans." -- Leo, FoRT Writer

  9. #99
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    Hello all,

    I'm awaiting my guests to arrive tonight and had a question for you all...on the chance that I ever throw another small dinner party, do you think I should state on the invitation what I will be serving--hence cutting off the people who don't want to eat that? For instance:

    Lois Lane would like to invite Mr. and Mrs. A to dinner at 7 p.m. Satruday.
    Menu: crudite and hummus; followed by salad, roast chicken, Italian bread and mashed potatoes. Chocolate ganache cake and coffee/tea will be served for dessert.

    What do you think?

  10. #100
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: Etiquette Questions

    I kind of like that idea. If someone says well I don't eat that, you can reply with So sorry, we'll see you another time.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

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