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Thread: Losing a Mom

  1. #261
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    I'm so sorry for your loss, MRD. It seems when they pass away, they take so much with them. There always seems to be another question to ask. I remember when my Aunt Tillie died several years ago, she was the last of 12 bro/sis. Up to 20 years ago, everyone always knew what the other was doing. Since she was the last, she always heard from everyone else. I miss hearing about my other cousins. Thankfully, you had the answers that were necessary.

  2. #262
    everything under the sun lopevian's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    MRD, condolences on your cousin's passing. I'm so glad you had a video to watch. They are really great to have. I know from after my brother died that videos get easier to watch as time goes by. They do make you laugh and cry. Best wishes to your daughter.

  3. #263
    I won't forget Cootie's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    MRD, I am so sorry for you on the loss of your cousin. My mom's only sister died this last year, and it was much the same for me to lose her, a person whom I had a strong connection with all my life. It just occurred to me that I won't be hearing from her this Christmas. She was always the first person to send me a Christmas card. I missed her funeral, too. Strangely, since I am far away, my family somehow forgot to tell me when the service was, so I only heard about it after it was over. I guess we can honor our loved ones by remembering them, huh? And laughing over funny memories, loving the sweet thoughts, etc. I tend not to dwell over the bumpy times as life has too much stress as it is. Moving on...that is wonderful that you have the video of stories. What a treasure, indeed! I will be thinking of you and your daughter and I hope all goes well.

    famita, I understand what you are talking about when the last of the older generation is gone. There are so many questions. As I grow older, I have become so curious about what life was like for my grandmother when she was young. I never thought to ask her when she was around! And I have discovered so much about my mom that I never knew when she was alive as I have gone through all her things. So many questions. Ah well, some things will have to remain a mystery I guess.

    Buglover, I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a daughter and your mom! Sad, sad.

    Lopevian, I am sorry that your husband was not able to hang in there and support you. Mr. C doesn't always understand my ways and needs, but he has managed to be with me for 32 years and I am grateful for that. Life is sure not perfect, but there are softer, more gentle times for us these days.

    So Thanksgiving is one week away, it is time to get busy! I have been making mental lists, but it is time to get to the prep for the family weekend ahead. One thing we do on holidays that ties the past with the present is get our record albums out from the olden days...we have a turntable that is sort of modern. While we play music for our adult children we end up talking about life when we were their age. It has turned out to be a modern tradition for us.

  4. #264
    FORT Fogey norealityhere's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    Loss is always hard. Whether the loved one is young or old, the time is never right. I lost my Mom very long ago. As there was quite a big age difference between my sister and I, I raised my sister at a very early age. My Mom died quite young. My sister and I went through a lot of difficulties during that time, but our bond was always one of the strongest ever. Though I will always miss my mother, I always know that she smiles down on me for having cared for her little girl. That Always gets me through the holidays.

  5. #265
    everything under the sun lopevian's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    Quote Originally Posted by norealityhere;3238897;
    Loss is always hard. Whether the loved one is young or old, the time is never right. I lost my Mom very long ago. As there was quite a big age difference between my sister and I, I raised my sister at a very early age. My Mom died quite young. My sister and I went through a lot of difficulties during that time, but our bond was always one of the strongest ever. Though I will always miss my mother, I always know that she smiles down on me for having cared for her little girl. That Always gets me through the holidays.
    So sorry you and your sister lost your beloved Mom, and so young. You have made her very proud. I hope you and your sister have a very happy holiday. What you both have gone through is heartbreaking. I can't imagine how difficult that was. You make your Mom very proud.

  6. #266
    FORT Fogey norealityhere's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    Quote Originally Posted by lopevian;3239161;
    So sorry you and your sister lost your beloved Mom, and so young. You have made her very proud. I hope you and your sister have a very happy holiday. What you both have gone through is heartbreaking. I can't imagine how difficult that was. You make your Mom very proud.
    Lopevian,
    Thank you so much. And may you and ever other Fort member have a happy holiday, as well.

  7. #267
    Former Exile :o) ToothDoc's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    Both of my parents are gone now. My dad passed in Sept of 96. He was a horrible man to say the least, but my Mom loved him. They both lived with me until the day they died. That Christmas my Mom was almost bedridden due to advanced Parkinson's. She was so upset b/c she always made Christmas special for everyone. You NEVER told my Mom that you didn't believe in Santa. I went to Walgreen's and bought special Mr and Mrs Claus stockings and a big bag of Hershey's Kisses (her favorite candy). I also bought a beautiful framed print of the Last Supper. She had wanted one for years. Christmas morning came and I went in to help her out of bed. I told her Merry Christmas and she started to cry b/c she knew that Santa hadn't come. No she hadn't lost her mind. She always had surprises for everyone and since she couldn't get out of the house she was unable to be Santa for me that year. I told he had come and that she needed to come into the dining room. She got all excited as I wheeled her into the room. She saw the stockings of the china cabinet and all of the decorations I had put out after she went to bed. She hugged her Mrs Claus stocking and cried tears of joy. She cried even more when she saw the picture. For me, that was the best Christmas I had ever had. Before or since. My Mom passed in Feb of 2001. I miss her more than words can say.

    I got married a month ago. I now have 2 daughters, not step-daughters. They don't like the term step and neither do I. This will be my 1st holiday season with my new family. Last year their dad broke up with me the weekend b/f Thanksgiving and we got back together New Year's Eve. It is time to start new traditions. I'm about to turn 49 and have never been happier. I know both of our mother's were looking down at us smiling during the wedding. I know my Mom would have loved my husband. His daughters tell me all the time that their grandmother would have loved me. She passed in 2006.

    My heart is with everyone who is missing a loved one.

    Love, Toothdoc

  8. #268
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    Congrats on the new family ToothDoc. I hope these holidays are memorable and special for all of you.
    Yup, with donuts!!

  9. #269
    everything under the sun lopevian's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    ToothDoc, what a very moving post. That is a beautiful story, how you made Christmas so special for your Mom. Along with the stocking and the framed print, your thoughtfulness and loving care were certainly a large part of her tears of joy. I'd like to echo buglover's sentiment and congratulate you on your marriage and daughters. I wish all of you many a happy Christmas to come. Thank you for sharing your beautiful post. It is full of hope and promise, and the best of "life goes on".

  10. #270
    MRD
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    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
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    Re: Losing a Mom

    Toothdoc, that was wonderful of you to make your mom's last Christmas so special.
    Hope you have a merry one with your new family this year.

    In our family the words "step" and "half" were never used either.
    My dad had 3 children before he married my mom. My mom treated them like her own kids and they adored her (well except for my sister who can't seem to love anyone) and they and I always felt we were brothers and sisters and not half siblings (again except my sister who pretended until our dad died and then she decided to cut off the entire family including her "whole" siblings)
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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